while it lasts

affection never was wasted.
- henry wadsworth longfellow

the difference between kindergarteners and preschoolers is enormous and i've found myself pausing and observing finn more - wondering where my little boy went and how he grew so big overnight.

he's always been an independent kid, but in the past 6 months he's more independent than ever and it's something i am trying to get used to. he takes baths and showers on his own, dresses himself, pours his own milk and cereal, clears his plate after each meal, and he's now helping himself to treats from the freezer with help from a kitchen chair.

he's slowly moving away from christopher and i, like a normal and healthy child is supposed to so he can become his own little person. he's testing his boundaries and seeing what he is capable of. these are exciting times for us all, and yet a little bittersweet too. for me at least.

i'll never forget what a colleague of mine, who is also a mom, said to me once. we had met somewhere for lunch and she was telling me about her daughter, who was 7 at the time and showing more independence. her mother had recently told her that around age 8, kids' parents are no longer the center of their child's world - that their life no longer revolves around their parents.

my girlfriend, a single mom, was having a tough time with this. her daughter was approaching 8 and she was seeing that 'shift'. i could see a little sadness in her eyes and really felt for her. i remember thinking, 'prepare yourself angela' you'll be in her shoes in just a few short years. finn was 4 1/2 then. i'm still 2 years away from 8, but it's begun.

fortunately, there are still lots of moments when finn is capable of big bursts of affection. he'll jump in my arms or snuggle up with me during a movie. some days, he'll give me a kiss out of the blue, and he still asks me to rub his back every night. i know these times will be less frequent as he grows, so for now, i just soak it all up - every bit of him, while it lasts.

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the boys are out of school for 2 weeks for spring break and c is home with them this week before we all head off together next week. when i get home afterwork, c's been needing to do a little 'catching up' on work stuff so i've been taking the boys to allow him this. this afternoon, we went on a long bike ride and then to the park to play. i should note the boys ride and i actually walk.  scout rides a trike so he's unable to keep up with me if i ride my beach cruiser.  powerwalking behind them words pretty well for now.  here a lil clip of 'big boy' finn being super silly.