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the musings of a san diego mom who loves her city, her life and her boys.

Monday, September 26, 2016

tweenhood

grown-ups never understand anything by themselves,
and it is tiresome for children to be always and forever
explaining things to them".
- antoine de saint-exupery, the little prince, 1943









when finn was little, he would ask question after question.
it was adorable and exhausting as his questions seemed endless.
as he inches closer to his teen years, he no longer asks tons of questions.
with the exception of asking when dinner will be ready, if he can have a friend over,
what snacks he can eat, or if i washed his nasa tee-shirt, questions are rare.

it's funny how those little children who believe their parents were all-knowing just
a few years earlier, suddenly believe they know so much more than their parents. 
they don't think about how parents being on the planet for several decades gives them
more wisdom than someone who's been on the planet for just over one.
this is a typical 12 year old.  *sigh*

i know this is perfectly normal development in adolescence.
this is how children begin to separate themselves so they can one day go out into the
world. i remind myself of this when i hear a big sigh or see him rolling his eyes.
though i've read my favorite parenting book, wild things: the art of nurturing boys
from cover to cover and the specific chapters on my boys' particular ages twice,
it had been almost a year.  this past weekend i pulled it out of my nightstand drawer
to 'brush up' on tween boys.  i'm not that parent who believes i have all the answers
and can do it all on my own - no way! i believe parents are strongest and parent better
when we have a network of people to lean on and learn from.

i continually tap into all the resources i have available: my husband, my parents,
my in-laws, aunties, sisters, sister-in-laws, friends, teachers {past and present},
and i read as much as i can from the experts. with a teen and a tween just around the corner,
i can't be too prepared. 

i'll share a quote by one of the authors of the book, who is also a father of 3 boys.
he tells parents "fasten your seat belt. the changes that are coming in your boys'
life are gonna knock the wind out of you".

wow - that was powerful.  my seatbelt is fastened and i'm ready. {i think}


as finn creeps closer to his teen years, which is referred to as
'the wanderer' stage {ages 13-17} in my parenting book, scoutie is entering
'the individual' stage {ages 9-12}. i've got a little practice with this stage,
but i admit, and i was really enjoying his previous 'lover' stage.
fortunately, he's still got a bit of that left. *grin*

childhood....it's such a small portion of a person's life, but it brings every emotion
with it - pure bliss, exhaustion, happiness, sadness, anger, fear and frustration.
most of all, it brings a kind of love only a parent can experience.

~ and finn, if you are reading this, be patient with your dad and me.
i know it's tiresome to forever be explaining things to us. *wink*
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San Diego, CA, United States
I'm a Southern California mom to 2 boys and a wifey to my long-time love. I work full-time and life is a bit crazy, but I strive to remember to take time to enjoy the little things, because in the end, it's those things that will matter most.