- friedrich schiller
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today, my first born turns 12!!!!
it seems like just yesterday c and i were walking him into his kindergarten classroom,
and now we have a middle schooler who gets dropped off at school and at the beach on
weekends for surf club. life is different....for him and for the entire family.
over the last year, i found myself on several occasions having moments of panic...
realizing we have a teenager just around the corner. though it will be new,
i remind myself that i've had 11 years to prepare myself, that not all teens are
extremely challenging, and even more than that, that i have a tween right now,
and this is truly a beautiful age.
as i do every year, here is a list of things i want to remember about you finn oliver, at this age:
1. you really love middle school
since you were in the 4th grade, you've been telling us you wanted to be in middle school.
you are thrilled the day finally came. you are enjoying learning and discussing more advanced topics, love your instructors, meeting new friends, being in a new building {actually you are in the same building as your elementary school, but you are now on the 2nd floor instead of the 1st}.
most of all, you are enjoying the new freedoms given to you both at school and at home.
2. you know yourself.
many adults struggle with knowing who they are, and what they want.
{heck, i still do sometimes}. at a very early age, you've found what you love and seem so secure of your place in the world. your confidence is part of your charm and what draws people to you.
you know your strengths and enjoy sharing them with others, and on the flip side, you are fully aware of your weakness and won't hesitate to tell us you aren't strong in so and so. you had the discipline to say no to a cell phone when we offered you one for your 12th birthday. you told us you weren't ready yet...that it would be too tempting and you would probably play too many video games on it and that you need to focus on your education. {we LOVE your honesty finn and yes, we will wait another year...gladly}
3. you are capable of self-care.
you shower and wash your own hair, operate the microwave, and cook food on the stove. you can swim well in the ocean, ride your bike to friend's homes without being escorted, do your homework and practice the piano without being asked most of the time. now if only you could successfully coordinate an outfit. {you've told me you don't care about clothes/fashion...you care about science}. of course. clothes are the last thing you care about.
4. you still love rules.
we have story after story of sitters telling us you reminding them exactly what our home rules are and how you keep them on task while we were away. one sitter was enjoying an evening snack and realized how quiet it was and went looking for you and scout. she found you in your beds reading and dressed in your pjs. you told her you noticed the time, got scout, dressed, brushed your teeth and were reading for a half hour and that the lights would be out at 8:30pm. she was floored and said that's a firstborn for you. c and i smiled and said, "that's finn".
like all kids, you thrive when rules are in place. unlike all kids, you think a bit deeper and see the logic for the rules you are given. if you don't, you question them. you also recognize when rules are needed or need to be enforced. you recently told me that you "wished one of your teachers was more strict". you went on to say the kids in one particular class needed them and if your teacher was "stricter", alot more learning would be happening. oh finn, all i can say is you've made parenting a breeze so far. {thank you}
5. your favorite color is green and you'd eat dessert every night if we let you
{we limit it to weekends only and special occasions like birthdays} *grin*
6. you are a great friend.
though you love your dear old mom and dad, your friends now seem to be of equal importance to you and we find you wanting to spend more time with them, emailing, skyping, getting together/sleepovers. since your kindergarten friend {josh} moved away, andrew is the friend you prefer to spend your time with. he is a twin that you've known since the 2nd grade. you have shared interests and because he's such a good great kid, your father and i encourage your friendship and hope you continue to stay close to him. we are also looking forward to meeting some of your new friends in a few weeks when you celebrate your 'star trek' themed birthday.
6. science and space are still your passions.
you spend hundreds of hours reading learning and talking about these things. you could sit with an engineer from nasa or spaceX and be able to have an intelligent and meaningful conversations. right now elon musk is your idol and your father and i are doing our best to keep your mind fed and your passions alive. we visit the library regularly so you can check out more books on the things that interest you. in school, you started a space club with your best friend andrew and his twin brother. it you were upset learning that the school didn't offer a science club and you met with a teacher and made one happen. you also love kerbal space program, also known as ksp. a whole post should be dedicated to this....
7. you continue to be a great brother to scout.
you no longer have a little guy toddling or chasing after you wanting to be like you. scout's found his own passions and interests, but his love for you is still as strong as ever. he still enjoys your approval and though you have different passions, you celebrate your little brother {most of the time} and listen to him as he shares what he loves. if he has a big soccer game, you will even put your book down and cheer him on. that's brotherly love.
8. you help make life easier
the days of me juggling 6 bags of groceries on each arm are over. when i arrive home from the grocery store, you either hear my car pull up or when i come through the door with a few bags, and you run out to the car to help. now YOU carry 6 bags of groceries on each of your arms...it's almost a fun challenge for you. at the beach or at the soccer field on weekends, you grab chairs and coolers out of the car without being asked. you even helped me put 4 bikes on the car bike rack. i'd have literally been there all night if it weren't for you. after years of carrying things for you finn oliver, the tables have turned. {i told christopher, you are very close to replacing him} *wink*
9. you are excited about growing up
puberty is just around the corner and though i'm a bit anxious about entering these new waters, you don't seem to be. you talk about it often, all the added responsibilities you'll have and especially all the privileges you will get like a phone, staying home alone, later bedtime, and being able to watch pg-13 movies. you are excited, yet you rolled your eyes when i gave you a stick of deodorant. you asked why you had to wear it. i reminded you about adolescence and hormones....that they will be kicking in and brings smells. you said "oh yeah, some of my friends need to use it".{my point exactly}. you are distancing yourself a little bit from your family which we know is a natural part of growing up. it's a healthy thing....a way of discovering yourself and your place in this world. you are in that 'middle place'....a boy who still builds legos and robots on his bedroom floor and runs around the neighborhood with packs of boys shooting nerf guns. the next day, when your friends come to the door, you might opt to not play with them and i'll find you on the top bunk quietly reading a book. as excited as you are about getting older, don't rush it love. it goes by too quickly...enjoy every minute of your childhood.
9. you have developed a sense of humor
you make your family laugh...and not in the silly inappropriate way anymore. you have the maturity and humor to be funny without being crude. you understand irony and have quick-wit.
10. you appreciate adult food.
what a treat it is to be able to take you anywhere or make something new and have you eat it.
you now try new foods with enthusiasm, and will do your best to finish it {or most of it} even if it's not your favorite. sure you still like pizza and pasta, but you don't want it every night anymore.
you appreciate a bit of diversity now which includes thai, chinese and sushi. sushi is your favorite now, and your dad and i are looking forward to taking you to a sushi restaurant for your birthday. i can't tell you how excited i am about this....it opens up endless possibilities for date nights with you finn.{fast food never counted as real food}
11. you bring calmness to our home
your personality is such that you are even keel and rarely get upset.
you truly are a gentle breeze in our home. instead of meeting anger with anger, you speak quietly and gently and your approach diffuses situations that could escalate or explode. our family is grateful for this skill you have.
12. you dream big and bring passion and beauty to this world
for a little boy, you have plans, BIG plans and the heart and passion to get there. to know you finn is to love you and this family loves you. i am so blessed to be your mother.
happy birthday finn. you are one terrific tween!
love,
mom
~ your STATS: you are 54" tall and you weigh 61 lbs.
{you are 'almost' out of size 8 clothing}
