Scout is Twelve

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy, when skies are grey. 
You’ll never know dear, how much I love you, oh please don't take my sunshine away.

Our youngest family member is TWELVE today and as I watched him run through the house finding clues scattered about for a scavenger hunt his Aunt Jen so thoughtfully and lovingly created for his special day, this song came into my head. It was a favorite of Scout’s for many years. He’d ask me to sing it to him every night before we would read when he was little and sometimes I'd make up verses with his name in the song. He loved it. I no longer sing out loud to him, but the evenings are still special. We catch up on the day and he shares whatever is on his mind, then we read together. I know these days won’t last forever, but if I'm lucky, I'm hoping for a few more.

Scout, as my tradition continues, here are 12 things I want to remember about you at age 12.

1. Soccer is still a love of yours  Your love of soccer hasn’t waned at all over the years.  If anything, it continues to grow.  Driving home from practice one evening, you told me you couldn’t imagine life without soccer. I believe that’s true for you. You play 3-4x a week and you watch professional soccer every chance you get. You love the game and everything about it – the competition, the skill involved, the physicality of the game, and being part of a team. In the early part of the Summer, your soccer club gave players 4 weeks off.  By the end of the second week, you told me you were feeling ‘out of shape’ and asked if I’d run around our neighborhood with you. I agreed, although not excited about it as our neighborhood is hilly. As expected, you left me in the dust. I remember the days and years of running slower so you could stay with me, and then running side by side.  Not anymore.  Soccer had made you not just happy, but super fit. You can run forever it seems before getting tired.
   You continue to play with Albion Soccer Club (ASC), the top competitive club here in San Diego and are thrilled that your best friend, Spencer, tried out and made it on your team. You have moved up a level from last year, and are now on the Boys 2007 NPL (National Players League). This Club requires us to travel outside of San Diego a bit which isn’t always fun or easy for your family, but we want to support you in what you love. Your dad and I aren’t those parents who push their kids to play something competitively. We enjoy our weekends and would have been perfectly happy attending local games and saving money, but you wanted more. Soccer if YOUR thing and we want to support you. When and if you want to be done, we will be ok with this, but will ask you to replace it with some type of physical activity. Your dad and I would love to play a little more tennis with you. 
2.  You enjoy school
   It’s Summer and you are out of school and thoroughly enjoying your break. I haven’t heard you say you are ready to go back to school like you used to when you were in elementary school.  Still, you do enjoy school, and especially enjoyed your first year of Middle School. I asked what you enjoyed the most and you said the Freedom – not having to stand in lines all the time, being able to go to the restroom without getting permission (just letting them know), and a few other things I can’t think of right now. Academically, school still comes easy for you…it always has. You take after your dad in this way, and my brothers, your Uncle Randy and Uncle Todd. There is one class you don’t enjoy…art. You said you would skip it if you could. You did say you 'appreciate' art which I loved hearing. What happened to that little boy that loved to color and paint as a preschooler I ask?
   
   Your favorite subject is still math and has been for the last few years. You enjoy finding multiple ways to solve problems…sometimes a half dozen more than you’ve been asked for by your teacher. Your teachers do their best to challenge you so that you continue your love of learning.  You aren’t even a teen, but you are slightly concerned about what you are going to study in college. Finn told you that you should start 'thinking' about it and though it can’t hurt to ‘think’ about it, I tried to assure you there is lots of time. You are only just 12. By high school, it would be nice to have an idea of what field you would like to go to. It can help make your college years more productive and meaningful.
3. You are a kind kid
   This is my absolutele Favorite thing about you Scout!! You have a BIG heart and genuinely care about people. Caring comes naturally to you and people are drawn to you because of this and your authenticity. You have lots of friends, a handful of very close friends and one best friend. I watch you interact with all of them and I see how you pick up on subtle things…their expressions, body language, etc. How you ask them about things that you don't necessarily enjoy but you know are important to them. Maybe this is because you spend a lot of time with them and know them so well, but more than this, I really think you pay attention, and genuinely care to connect. This serves not just your friendships well, but our family too. You look for very specific ways to show you care about each of us. You know each of our love languages.
4.  You absolutely adore our dog and she loves you
   Bonita is loved by the entire family, but it’s clear, you are her boy Scout. I found a quote recently that said “everyone thinks they have the best dog in the world…and they’re right”.  It’s SO true….our animals, like our children, become our absolute favorite. I can’t get over how quickly our fur baby has grown to love us and us her. We are all completely smitten by her! It’s been just over a year now since you picked her out of the little yard where all the rescue pups were, and we just threw her a 3^rd birthday celebration at Kate Sessions Park. You worried about her not being “comfortable” when I tried putting a birthday hat on her (again your big heart). She would only wear it for seconds anyway until she pulled it off. You are responsible with her…taking her for a walk every morning, and afternoon (this summer) and sometimes in the evenings if Finn or I are gone. Though Bonita has taken to sleeping at the foot of your parent’s bed most nights, if momma isn’t home until late, she will climb in bed with you.
5. Your appetite is starting to get biggerYou are growing and have started eating more. You want larger portions and if I don’t give them to you, you come back asking for more. You are growing and though you don’t recognize it, your dad and I do. Your favorite meal is still an In-n-Out Burger – double double cheese, and you still love butter popcorn which I only allow on weekends because you would eat it every night if this rule didn’t exist. You still love chocolate, and your favorite chocolate bar is Hershey Cookies and Creme. As you’ve gotten older you are starting to try more foods which makes life easier for everyone. I remind you and Finn that food should be approached like life - be adventurous with it. Unless you have a crazy allergy, try everything. You’ve tried sushi again since it’s your besties favorite. You still don't love it, but you hey, you stay open to new kinds. *cheer*
6.  You have good friendsYour bestie, Spencer, has been living abroad for the past 3 years, but he is home now and life is better than ever for you. You’ve missed him, but you two would use Google Chat every week over the last 3 years, and of course you visited once and he’s been back to San Diego to visit a few times. Though no one could ever replace Spencer, you developed other strong friendships. Your dad and I admire that you gravitate towards kids who are fairly mature and who make good decisions. I’ve learned over the years, to let you decide who your friend group will be because you have shown me that you chose good friends. You remind me sometimes that I forced you to invite a few kids to one of your birthday parties years ago…even at your prompting me not to invite them. Because I liked their mother (or father), I just assumed they’d behave ‘well enough’.  You were adamant they wouldn’t and that I was making a mistake, but I didn’t listen. Well, I learned from that crazy experience to listen to you Scout. You have good judgement. I only hope your awareness continues through your teen years. You and Spencer have been great friends to and for each other since you were in first grade, and if the last 5 years of any indicator of what’s to come, your friendship might just last a lifetime. Who knows, maybe you two will be each other’s Best Man someday. For now, I just wish for what every mother wants, that you surround yourself with friends who are kind, share similar goals and who are positive influences in your life.
7.  You love sleepovers
   You are a social kid and want to be around your friends alot. That means you invite your friends over every weekend or want to sleepover at their home every weekend. During the Summer, your dad and I are very generous. You've probably had 2-3 sleepovers a week for the past 2 1/2 months. I feel like we have a 3rd or even a 4th son when Finn has friends sleeping over at the same time. I stock up on lots of snacks but make sure your friends eat a healthy dinner at least so parents will allow them to return. I remember your Grandpa Shappard not understanding the sleepover thing when I was a young girl. When I would ask, he would reply with something like "you spent the ENTIRE day with your friend, why does she have to sleep over". Grandma would say, she just does and would usually talk him into it. With 7 kids at home or even 5, I get it now. I'd likely say the same thing. Because you are one of 2 kids, your dad and I are alot more open to sleepovers. The added benefit - it's a great way for me to get to know your friends better and for their parents to know you. 
8. You love video games
   This is literally the ONLY thing that causes friction between you and me right now. For a myriad of reasons, you boys love video games…the stimulation, challenge and competition and now, the social aspect of it since you can play games in ‘real time’ with your friends a nd talk to them. Your dad and I still don’t (and won’t) get any gaming consoles, but you and your brother play games on your computers. We let you play video games, but we limit 'recreational' time to 2 hours a day...this includes video games. There are days when we get busy and don’t keep a pulse on it and have found you on it hours later. This causes problems as we don’t want to police you and Finn. We want you boys to have the discipline to do this on your own. Somedays you do a great job, setting a timer and ‘announcing to us’ that you’ll be gaming until a specific time, and then get off at that time, but not always. Summers are harder and since I'm not home.  Your dad has to oversee this and it's not always easy. He's much more patient than I am.
9. You desperately want a phone
   You’ve been asking for a phone since last year when you started middle school (6^th grade). You were 11 and told your dad and that ALL the kids had phones and that you think you were the ONLY kid who didn’t have one. I didn’t believe this and did a little investigating.  It appears the majority of 6^th graders do have phones, but our family rule is you boys could get one when you turned 13. Unlike kids who bike or walk to school, you and your brother are driven to school every day by your dad. Since you don’t attend our neighborhood schools and do this, we don’t see a real need. You’ve made a case for needing one since you play soccer and get dropped off at the field, and I reminded you that if everyone has a phone, then you can easily borrow one, and call me if you need to. You did this once when I was 5 minutes late. You borrowed your coach’s phone and I told you I was right around the corner. I asked you once what you would do with a phone the majority of the time, and you answered honestly and said, I’d probably play games. I appreciated your honest Scout. I know you well and you don’t need one. I know some parents buy their kids phones out of guilt or are afraid they will be “left out socially” but NOPE. Your dad and I won’t fall into this. We believe a part of your success is because we are stricter with technology than most parents. Sure, it would have been  easy to give you an iPad when you were little to keep you entertained, but instead, we decided against this and gave you book. We are convinced your love of books and your ability to focus, is because you were given books at a young age, instead of games or movies. Hang in there Scout. You will get a phone when you become a teenager.
10.  You enjoy earning money
    Your dad and I don’t give you and Finn allowance, but we allow you both to earn money by doing things above and beyond your normal household chores. A few weeks ago, you asked how you could earn some money. In the past, some of chores included picking up leaves from our Magnolia tree, swiffering the floors or dusting all the books in our library. You are saving money to buy a new graphic/video card for your computer as the one you have is really old and slow. You had Spencer over and I suggested washing the two giant glass sliding doors that overlook the backyard. You and Spencer grabbed Windex, two rolls of paper towels and a stool and went to work. It was a HUGE job that took probably 2 hours, and you earned $5 apiece. I was a happy mamma as this is one chore I’ll gladly pay someone to do. You also earn money by watching our neighbors chickens.  You are also in the middle of getting your certification to be a line referee at soccer games and tournaments. You’ve been talking about this for years as they pay anywhere from $12 to $15 a game. Since you love the game and already know all about it, it’s an easy way for you to make extra money. By tomorrow, you will have completed the 18 on-line tests, and then will have to take a test on the field with a senior referee.  I’m so proud of you Scout.
11.  You enjoy playing the pianoYou’ve been playing piano for about 5 years now and though your days are full, you still squeeze in practicing a little bit each day…or almost every day. I used to insist you play a specific amount of time, but I stopped doing this. You play when you can and some days it’s 5 minutes and others day you might play for an hour. I just remind you that piano lessons aren’t free…that playing the piano is a privilege that many don’t have and wish they did. I think you understand, and if you don’t fully now, you will someday.  Music is fun for you, but it’s not your passion. I know this. I’m just happy you play. Currently, you are learning to play This is Me from the musical, The Greatest Showman. It’s a tough song to play…fast paced and has your hands bouncing all over the keyboard, but you chose it.  It’s been about 3 months since you started learning it and though you have the notes down now, you are working on the tricky timing.  I love listening to you play Scout and enjoy having music fill our home. I also love singing alongside you….though you don’t like me doing this when you are first learning a song because it “messes up your concentration”.  I understand this and try to refrain, but it’s hard as I love to sing out loud. I’m looking forward to recording you and sharing the song you’ve been on working on with family and friends who support you in your music.
12. A few random things about you
    You like to style your hair…especially before school. You typically add a little gel or styling wax to your thick hair and it holds it in place for the day.
    You love wearing tee shirts, soccer jerseys and fuzzy pajamas to bed. It’s summer time and you still put on your fuzzy pajamas after you get out of the shower or bath. You take them off to sleep, and then put on again in the mornings. The mornings can be cool in San Diego, but in mid-Summer it’s not THAT cool. You tell me you LOVE being cozy. I get this. No matter what age we are, it’s nice being cozy and having soft fabric against our skin.
    You also love baths. You are my mini me in alot of ways, and this is one of them. After soccer practice and soccer games, you will literally draw yourself a hot bath to relax in. It’s one of your favorite things. If you are in a rush, you will shower, but the tub is one of your happy places.

I am grateful for SO many things you bring to my life and into our family Scout – your passion, your sense of humor, your love of learning and for life and your BIG ol' heart.  You make our home a more beautiful place and we are all grateful for you every single day. I can’t promise you I’ll be here for the rest of your life, but I can promise to love you for the rest of mine.

Always and forever,

Mom

Your stats at age 12:

You are 57” tall and weigh 72 pounds.

You wear a size 10 in jeans and shirts (thought they are both a bit big but 8s are too small).
You wear a size 4 shoe. 

finn is fifteen

We’re all made of star stuff.

~ Carl Sagan

I found this quote years ago when I was looking into more about Carl Sagan and it intrigued me and seemed appropriate for Finn’s 15^th birthday. He has always been a star that shines bright, and his fascination with our universe just makes it even more appropriate.

I didn’t and still really don’t understand the science behind this quote, but I did learn this is something Sagan said in one of his Cosmos episodes. I did some investigating and here’s what I learned. Sagan’s statement sums up the fact that the carbon, nitrogen and oxygen atoms in our bodies as well as atoms of all other heavy elements, were created in previous generations of stars over 4.5 billion years ago. Because humans and every other animal, as well as most of the matter on Earth contain these elements, we are literally made of star stuff.  Finn probably could have explained this to me, but these days he isn’t home much and when he is, he doesn’t talk much. He is a typical teenage boy, and if you’ve had or have one, you know all about this.

Finn,

In keeping with my tradition, today I am recording 15 things I want to remember about you at this time in your life. I know some of these are from my perspective, and may not be completely accurate or agreed on by you, but this is how your mother sees you at 15.

1. You started high school this year!

Yep, it’s CRAZY to think of, but it’s true! You are in the 9^th grade and officially in high school.  You have been waiting for this for so very long Finn. Instead of staying at the HTH Point Campus you’ve been at since you were in Kindergarten, you decided to move to a new Campus closer to home, though still not within walking distance unfortunately. Your school, High Tech High (HTH), purchased a large Christian private school and are in the middle of renovating it and creating a new K-12 Campus. It’s exciting and though most of the Campus is still under construction, a few buildings were completed this past Summer and HTH accepted 120 incoming 9^th graders. Most of the students are brand new to the school and had to go through the lottery system to get accepted, but you were part of a few from the Point Loma Campus who asked to transfer Campuses.  You were accepted and will be the FIRST graduating class at High Tech High Mesa. Pretty cool!  This was completely your decision, and we questioned if you’d be ok at a school with no upper classman your entire 4 years, but you were ok with this. We know one of the reasons you chose this Campus is the school's Robotics Team, the Holy Cows, would be meeting here since this new school has more square footage and the space to house the Team and all it's equipment.  

2. You joined your high school's robotics team.

This might be the very best part of joining school exiting than starting High School. You would have joined The Holy Cows when you were in elementary school if they’d have allowed it. You’ve been attending robotics competitions and cheering on HTH’s Holy Cows team since you were in Kindergarten. You’ve always loved to build and have been fasinated with all things electronic, so your dad made sure to keep you inspired and taking you to robotics competitions was one of MANY ways he did it. I used to go to some of the competitions, but I don’t love robotics enough to watch other children compete.  When YOU compete of course, I will be there in the stands cheeering you.

The Holy Cows have become a huge part of your life Finn. You are in the middle of ‘Build Season right now which means for 6 weeks, you are basically living at the school or the machine shop when you aren’t in school.  You spend 8 hours a day every weekend at school and are there after school until 8pm every night. You officially have Fridays off.  You squeeze in any homework you have during your lunch hour and in the evenings after you come home.  Your dedication is amazing and inspiring. More than anything, your dad and I want our children to find something that makes you happy and you’ve found it Finn.  You also found your people.

A few months ago when we were alone in the car, you said “I finally met people that are like me”.  You were so happy and I was too. I remember you in tears when you were in 3^rd grade telling me that no one likes the things you like. That no one was like you”.  My heart broke for you.  You were different….and we hadn’t come across any children your age who shared your passion or interests and your knowledge of those things. It’s rare and we assured you high school and college is where you would find your tribe...your people. You have, and life is wonderful for you.

3. You got a dog this year.
We are now a proud family of Bonita, an adorable salt and pepper Miniature Schnauzer! For years we had been talking about getting a dog, and with your dad working from home, and you and Scout able ot take on some of the care of a dog, it seemed like a great time to add a furry baby to our lives. You were busy on the Saturday morning when we went to look for a rescue dog, but Scout was free and wouldn’t have missed the opportunity for the world. We were specifically looking for a female dog, since I was so outnumbered at home with males, and Scout picked out a sweet girl named Bonita, who was shaking and hiding in a corner when he discovered her.  I was hesitant at first about her. We are an active family, with friends coming in and out of our home, and I worried this dog might not adjust to our lifestyyle. We did the 'foster to adopt' program so if she didn't work out, we had 4 weeks to return her. Within a few weeks, she started to adjust. You love her as much as all of us, but you aren’t home a lot these days, so she misses you and greets you at the door with a small howl which his her way to say 'hello, i'm so glad you are home'.  Summer is when she gets lots of time with you and your brother and well, I don't know what more to say other than she has brought so much JOY into our family. We all speak to her in high voices and we all shower her with love.  It's like having a baby in our home. You even tolerate it when I dressed her up for Halloween.

4. You keep outgrowing your clothes.

Last year, you were the same height as me on your birthday – 5’-3". This year, I have to look UP to look into your eyes which means you are now a few inches taller than me now. You told me you are no longer the smallest boy in your grade which you are quite happy about. I knew you wouldn't be. You aren't tall, but I knew you wouldn't be 5' as an adult male. You didn’t have as big of a growth as you did your previous year, but you are growing and will continue to grow for quite some time. All of your size 12 jeans are too short and you've outgrown all your size 12 shirts as well.  This is PROOF you are still growing Finn Oliver.  You now are a solid size 14 in everything I buy.

5. You are always hungry.  
You are a growing teenage boy and this means you are hungry often.  Mothers of teenagers warned me of this and when you were picky and barely touched your food, it was hard to imagine. Now I chuckle to myself when I think of how much time I spent trying to coerce you to eat when you were little. You were a picky eater, and you’ve always been thin..neven as a baby you didn't have a roll of fat.  The doctors worried for a brief period as you fell off the charge, but that was a super brief time when you were transitioning from breast milk to formula. All that worrying was for nothing as you are healthy and you are no longer particular. You eat most anything now which is wonderful.

6. Sushi is still your favorite
On Friday evenings, when we are all exhausted after a week of school, work and activities, our family typically gets 'take out'. You almost always want sushi, and if it was just you and me, we’d eat it every Friday night, but it’s not just you and me most Friday nights.  We have two other family members who love Mexican food, so we take turns. Sometimes we will even get Chinese food, because we all agree on this. Since you’ve been basically living at your high school over the past 6 weeks for robotics, your dad often surprises you with sushi when there isn’t dinner being provided to you kids. He is a regular at a two sushi places and I think they know him by name. When he brings sushi to you at school or has it waiting for you when he picks you up, the smile on your face says it all.

7. The ocean is one of your happy places.
You aren't on the high school Surf Team this year. You considered it, but knew there would be a conflict once robotics started up. Your father and I encouraged you to join the Team, despite not being able to attend all the practices once robotics started, but you didn't want to do this. You like to be committed and I understand this. Still, you surf with your dad pretty regularly in the Fall, Spring and Summer months. In the Winter, Southern Calfornia's water temperature is cold, and though you have a full wetsuit (our entire family does), surfing in Winter is more sporadic. Like most sane people, you enjoy warmer water and your favorite is taking vacations down south where the water is always warm. You told me once that some of your very best memories are of our Mexico vacations where you surf every day - usually multiple times. You especially loved the vacation where you volunteered with turtles every morning and surfed all afternoon with your buddy Luca and your dad. I'm so grateful you had that opportunity. Those are the kinds of memories that stay with you a lifetime.  I'd love for the family to do some type of volunteer vacation together. Your dad and I have discussed it a bit and he is all for it. We just need to find the right organization, and one that will allow kids under 16 to participate. Many organizations have a minimum age. We'll keep looking...

8. You still have zero interest in social media
Some of your friends have Instagram accounts, and I follow some of them, as well as your robotics team, because it gives me a little extra insight to your friends and teenagers in general, but you have absolutely no interest in it.  You think it’s a waste of time. It is in big scheme of things. I think even us adults know this. It's a little diversion and can be fun, but it should never take the place of real connection. You prefer to spend your free time hanging out with friends and if you can't do that, you text them. As a listen to my mom friends with girls talk about the agony that social media has caused with their daughters, I feel pretty lucky that I don't have any of that to deal with. I'm sure there is occasional drama with boys on social media, but I don't hear about it.  

9. You are a great student
School has always come easy for you, and your dad and I have never had to ask you to do your homework….EVER!  Some people hardly believe this, but we never have. You and Scout are self motivated when it comes to your education. You want to do well and you understand the value in doing your homework and making good grades. This year, your Freshman year of high school, you told me you are actually challenged. Your dad and I LOVE hearing this because we want you to be challenged. You are taking all Honors courses and you are making straight As. You were disappointed that you didn’t make an A+ in Physics this past semester. I tried to be sympathetic, but for someone who struggled with math, it’s hard for me to relate. You know that college is highly competitive and you want the highest GPA you can possibly get, so that your high school transcripts show well. Oh Finn, you sure put a lot on your own shoulders, and I hope you know we notice how hard you work. We admire your hard work and are proud of you.

10. You are a young man of few words
I came across a birthday card that said this and I presented it to you on the morning of your birthday. The inside of the card read ‘from a woman of many words’.  You laughed out loud and said “this is the PERFECT card mom”.  It sure was!  I’m a talker and you aren’t…at least not since you’ve become a teenager.  When you were younger, you talked almost incessently....sharing everything that was on your mind. Since you’ve reached adolescence, you don’t say as much which according to almost of my momma friends with older boys, and the books on parenting that I've read, this is normal and more common. My momma friends who have daughters tell me they wish they could trade with me. Apparently, their daughters talk all the time….incessantly, so much that it drives them crazy sometimes. It’s hard to even imagine. I would love more words from you Finn....Dad too. The silver lining is, though you are a man of few words, I’ve noticed you are listening to us...most of the time. Your dad and I learned this because you’ll comment or bring up something you heard us discussing and we thought you had tuned us out. This is always a welcome surprise as we love hearing you share your thoughts.You are a thinker and are wise beyond your years.  You add so much to conversations. When we have adults friends over for dinner or even for a pool party, you elevate any conversation with your perspective when you join in. Adults appreciate this Finn, and from years back, commented that you don't belong at the kid table.   

11.   Your love of reading continues.  
Science fiction is still your favorite genre and you seem to always be waiting for another book to be published in series that you are reading. The Red Rising Series has a new book coming on in the Summer and you can hardly wait.  Currently, you are reading the classic book, Dune by Frank Herbert and loving it.  Fortunately, you attend a school that is liberal and places a large emphasis on social justice, so you’ve had to venture out of your typical genre and read books that you probably wouldn’t have picked up on your own. I love this because it help you be more  well-rounded (a world I use all the time at home). Some recent books you’ve read are Giovanni’s Place by James Baldwin and Just Mercy by Bryan Stevenson.  You recommended both to me, and I read. Like you, I found Giovanni's Place depressing and personally, I felt it a bit too mature for 14 year olds, but I loved Just Mercy and believe it might be the most important book that either of us read this year. My boss borrowed my copy and had the same sentiments. We both thank you for introducing to us. 

12. You quit piano lessons

As disheartened as I was about your decision, I agreed to let you give up piano lessons. It was reallly difficult for me to agree to this. I had lots of discussions about it with you, your father, respected colleagues, girlfriends, my mother and my mother-in-law. Music is a huge part of my life, and has so many benefits. I was afraid that letting you quit would prevent you from enjoying all those things music brings to me and I enjoy so much as an adult. I enjoy playing the piano for so many reasons...being able to make music to sing along to, for others to enjoy, the challenge of new songs, how it relaxes me, and how it simply brings me joy! I want you to enjoy ALL these benefits too, and possibly more.  You played for 8 years Finn, and rarely complained about it. You didn't love playing, I could see that, but you didn't hate it either. You enjoyed the challenge of learning a new piece and said as much, but playing didn't excite or move you in the way it does for me, or in a way that science and other things move you.


When your piano teacher of 4 years, Mr. Patrick, announced he was no longer able to teach as he was moving on to play for a musical theater group full time here in town, you declared it was the perfect time to quit because you were starting high school and would be too busy. You were joining robotics and you wouldn't have much free time. I knew your schedule would be busier than ever and in the end, I agreed. I believe forcing anyone to do something they really don't want to do, can sour the experience, and you did give music lots of years which I think (and hope) will allow you to still be able to pick up sheet music years from now and play at least at a basic/beginner level. From time to time, I notice you will sit down at the piano and play. You typically are wearing headphones and aren't reading sheet music, so i have no idea what you are playing, but it makes me smile seeing you at the piano. Our hope is that you continue to sit down from time to time throughout high school so you don't completely lose all that you've learned. 

13. You listen to music a lot now 

A year ago, when your dad and I would share a song with you that I thought you might like, you would tell us you "weren’t really interested in music".  I'd GASP and say I don’t believe it. Your dad would just grin. We are big music lovers, and as someone who plays the piano and who paid for  years of piano lessons for you, I couldn’t accept it. A part of me knew you were being purposefully obstinate, and your dad said it would just be a matter of time...that you would find music that you enjoy and that moves you. You finally have. You don’t share your music with us much, but that's part of being a teenager I've learned. As you separate from your parents, you aren't supposed to share everything...some things are meant to be yours alone and for now, your music is one of these. Still, it makes us smile knowing you now enjoy music of your own. You put on your headphones alot and listen to music and you clean the pool or do your chores. It makes us smile.

14.  If you have or have ever had a crush on someone, you’ve been quiet about it.

Again, you are a man of few words, and this is one subject you’ve been very quiet about.  I’m certainly in no rush for you to fall for someone or for you to get your heart broken. Both happen to all of us at some point in our lives, and I have a feeling that when a young woman breaks your heart, I’ll secretly feel a little /Mean Girl-ish' about it. Last year, you said you weren't going to get serious about any girl during high school and frankly, your dad and I hope you don't. We prefer you to focus on your education and making good friends than falling in love. There's lots of time for that.

15. You’ll be getting your driving 'Learner's Permit’ in 6 months.
YEP!!  It both excites and terrifies me.  It will be wonderful to have an additional driver in the family, as your dad and I literally feel like taxi drivers shuttling you to and from school and robotics. I think I've put a thousand miles on my car in just the past 6 months. It sure would take alot off us, when you start driving, but with driving comes a whole new set of concerns and worries for your dad and me. San Diego is a big city with lots of freeways and traffic and we like to drive fast. It's not like living in the country or even in a small city. It's not even like living in Orlando where I grew up. Your dad and I will make sure you take your time getting you used to driving in San Diego...first to and from school and then eventually get you on the freeway. Though I haven't checked into it (I'm sure you have), I think you can get your Driver's Permit at age 15 1/2 and then your regular license at 16 1/2?  I believe CA's rules are a bit more stringent than most of the country when it comes to driving and I'm perfectly ok with this. Maybe by mid-way through your Sophomore year, you'll be driving yourself to school. 

15. Last, you are loved SO much! 
From the day you arrived on this earth, you’ve blessed it and our family. Your dad and I couldn’t be more proud of you Finn Oliver Gerber. You are a fabulous big brother to Scout. I know he annoys you sometimes and you sometimes wish you had your own room, but you understand that’s part of being an older sibling. As for parenting you, your dad and I have said it a thousand times…you’ve made parenting pretty‘easy’, and though we want to believe we have a little something to do with the this, we know that you are an exceptional person. You think deeply about what you say and do and the decisions you make come stem from this. You are deliberate and this is a beautiful thing. Your dad and I are grateful that we get to be your parents and have delighted in watching you learn and grow. We are so proud of the young man you are Finn, and man you are becoming. Continue to reach for the stars, work hard, and be a kind human. Great things will come from it.

All my love,
Mom

~ I almost forgot your stats. Those are important.  You are 64” (5’- 4”), 95 lbs. and you wear size 14 in jeans and shirts. You wear a size 7 shoe.

             

my favorite fourteen year old

somewhere something incredible is waiting to be known.
~ carl sagan

So many incredible things are yet to be known, but one thing is known - 14 years ago, one INCREDIBLE thing happened, and that was the birth of you, Finn Oliver Gerber! That little bald baby boy, now you, has brought so much love, joy and life to our family. 

This year has been full of change, discovery and growth. Your dad and me watch in awe as you grow and sometimes with tears as we realize how little time we have left with you before you head out into the world. I try not to think about it too much, but the years go by way too fast. Continuing my tradition, here are 14 things that I want to remember about you at this very time in your life: 

1.  You have grown A LOT this past year.  

I am literally looking into your eyes when we stand face to face.  You are just a 2" shorter than me and we have the same size feet! We still have the surfboard grow chart hanging on your wall that we've had since you were a year old to track you and your brother’s height and when your father marked your height, we saw that you have grown almost 5” – CRAZY!! You are very happy about this as you tell us you are the smallest kid in your grade, and have been for the last 2 years.  I shared that your Uncle Todd was very small until age 15/16. You will grow too Finn. You won’t be tall, but you won’t be 5’ forever either.  i promise.

2.  You eat like a truck driver.

What I mean by this is you eat A LOT these days and you eat fast. I finally understand that reference “my kid is eating me out of house and home”. Our grocery bill is bigger and my trips to the grocery store are more frequent.  We try to eat dinner as a family every chance we get and if you have your way, you’ll clear your plate in 5 minutes and be gone. I remind you to ‘taste your food’ and to enjoy meal time. It’s one of the few times the whole family is together during the day, so please sit with us longer Finn. We absolutely love your company. 

One of my favorite things about this stage of your life is that you eat just about anything now which makes meal time so much more exciting. I can experiment with recipes and you will eat them {even if they aren't great}. You are also up for eating an any restaurant and trying new foods which makes life so much more enjoyable...especially because San Diego has so many restaurants to chose. Our neighborhood alone has probably over 2 dozen. Given a choice between any type of food, you still prefer sushi, but you also love Italian, Chinese and Mexican. 

3.  The ocean is one of your happy places.

You gladly get up at the crack of dawn every Sunday morning to surf with your middle school surf team.  You set out your wetsuit, surfboard, wax, towel and snacks the night before so you can just jump in the car with your dad and head to the beach. On occasion, I tag along and watch you for a bit, say hi to the kids and their parents, and then I go for a run. It's a true surfer who can get up at the crack of dawn and paddle out into the pacific ocean in the winter months.

You don’t care about competing in surf contests, and you don’t go to socialize like a few of the kids on the team. You go because you love the ocean – its beauty, its power, the workout, and the dopamine that is released when you ride a wave. It just feels good!  I’m guessing you enjoy the trip to Taco Surf with dad after every surf practice. It’s a ritual for you two.

 4.  You’ve discovered Carl Sagan. 

One of your 8^th grade projects this year was titled ‘Monumental Figures’. Students were asked to select a person from the United States who doesn’t currently have a monument created for them, and explain why they were deserving of one.  You chose Carl Sagan, a name I recognized from my childhood. He was the host of the original Cosmos TV series, which is now hosted by Neil deGrasse Tyson. You loved this project Finn, and spent hours researching him. When you presented your project to us, and all the 8^th grade parents, your enthusiasm and your research on him spilled over to me. Over the next few weeks, I pulled up a few of the original Cosmos shows and Sagan interviews on youtube and watched because of  you. He is a fasinating man. You continue to learn about Sagan and his theories. You are currently reading his booked titled, A Pale Blue Dot that Grandma Gerber (GG) sent you for Christmas. You told me you are “taking your time with it” because it’s full of so much information. Oh Finn, your dad and I never tire of watching you get excited about something.

5. You have no interest in social media, but you do enjoy video games

Moms of daughters often have struggles around social media, but this is one area parents of boys typically don’t struggle.  There are exceptions to the rule of course, but we don’t anticipate you opening a Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, or Snapchat account anytime soon Finn. For now you prefer to text and Skype with your friends.

Like most boys your age, you enjoy gaming and want to play longer than we prefer you to play. You have designated ‘educational’ and ‘recreational’ computer time and you’d love more recreational time.  You tell us we are stricter than most of your friend’s parents, but in the same breath, you have said it’s a good thing. Oh Finn, we are doing our best. We have rules because we care and want you to use time wisely. We don’t mind you playing videos games, we just want you to have balance – face to face time with friends and lots of outdoor play. Since we don’t have any gaming consoles or portable gaming devices, this has helped tremendously. when you play games, they on your computer desktop and it's easy for us to monitor and less tempting for you.. Kerbal Space Program (KSP) is still your favorite game, with Portal 2 as the runner up.  

6.  You are a fan of Stranger Things

The day came your dad and I FINALLY let you watch this series.  Your friends started watching last year, but your dad and I thought it was a bit dark. Childhood is such a short window. We wanted to extend yours a bit longer.  It’s tricky being a parent….some decisiuons we make seem instinctual and we just know and feel good about, and other things we aren’t sure at all about. It's a learning process and a constant reassessing. You never pushed us or got upset when we told you that you would have to wait to see it. That's not your style. You simply said “let me know when that time comes”.    

When you turned 14, it seemed the right time. You just finished Season One and you thoroughly enjoyed it. The boys in the show are your age and there’s just enough sci-fi and creepiness to excite you. About halfway through the season, you said “I know why you and dad like this show so much mom, it’s totally your generation”.  Yes Finn Oliver, it is.  It’s like travelling back in time for us parents who were kids/teenagers in the 80s – the music, the clothes, the walkie talkies, and even the banana seat bikes.  When you commented that is would have been cool to grow up in the 80s because life was simpler, I smiled and told you it was a great time to be a kid. Now you know why your dad and I ask you and Scout to leave your phones and go play outside {unsupervised}. We want you to experience some of the freedom and the kind of playing that we had as kids.

7. Your current favorite movie is Dunkirk.
I took you to see Dunkirk one weekend - it was just the two of us. You were mesmerized by this powerful film, which felt more like an art film to me than a traditional action/war film. The dialogue was sparse, and there was no over the top gore which was refreshing. On our drive home, you talked about how you liked that the Director focused on three different groups of people over three different time frames, the Royal Air Force (RAF) pilots, the crew of a small civilian yacht and a group of young British soldiers trapped on the beach, and how they line up to make a really great climax at the end. As you shared your thoughtful critique, I smiled inside and thought “this is one of the joys of having a teenager”.  They have more experience and now can share great perspective. The conversation we had Finn added so much more to my experience of the film. Thank you for this. 

8. You continue to be an avid reader.  

Non-fiction and science fiction are still your favorite genres. You typically have two books going on at the same time – one at home and one that goes with you to school and in the car. Tonight, when I came into your room to kiss you goodnight, you were engrossed in your new book, A Pale BlueDot, and you have Artemis, the newest book by Andy Weir, the author of The Martian, on  your bookshelf to read next.   

Last month, you finished reading All the Light We Cannot See, by Anthony Doerr.  I don’t recommend many books to you Finn, but I recommended this Pulitzer Prize winner that I read years ago. I was just waiting for you to be old enough to read it and your got there. You remind me so much of the German boy, Werner, in the story. He too loved engineering. We talked about the book over sushi last month, and it was one of our best dinners together. At the end of the night, I asked if you had a book to recommend to me, and you suggested Red Rising by Pierce Brown. I started it last week. It’s a dystopian sci-fi novel that reminds me a little bit of Hunger Games. I’m just a few chapters in, but I’m enjoying it. 

9.   You are ready for high school 

Your mother may not be ready for you to be in high school, but you certainly are. You are ready for greater independence that comes with it, more advanced and in-depth classes, a wider variety of students and abilities, and after-school clubs for things you are passionate about.  You have been dreaming of joining the robotics team for years and your time is almost here. You’ve been watching high school robotics teams compete since you were a Kindergartener, and soon you will be ON one of robotics team. You better believe your family will be there to cheer you on, and maybe even embarrass you a little bit. {you know your dad}

10. Girls 

The opposite sex is not a distraction in your life at this point and for this we are so grateful. Your dad and I aren’t encouraging it as there is plenty of time for that down the road.  Middle and high school are about learning who you are, preparing for higher education/your career, and making lifetime friends. Those typically are friends of the same sex, and this is how it should be. A few of your friends have ‘crushes’, but I think texting each other is the extent of middle school relationships. I realize this will change for a lot of kids in high school, but your dad and I don’t think this will be where you put your time. You’ve got your sights on more important things right now – joining the high school robotics team and then college. You are one determined and focused kid Finn, and this will serve you well. When the time does come for you to date, the girl who does get your focus will be very lucky.

11. You are a huge help around the house. 

Your dad and I appreciate it so much. Over the last two years, and more so this year, you have stepped up in a big way with everything - from cleaning the pool cover, taking groceries from the car and putting them away, unloading the dishwasher, vacuuming, dusting, a little cooking, and even packing your lunch {ok this one I asked you to}, but you are learning to recognize what needs to be done around the house and pitching in. Thank you for this!

12. Your passion is contagious

Listening to you speak about something you are passionate about fascinates me often more than the subject you are speaking of.  I don’t have the passion or the attention span to study the mysteries of space or to understand the engineering of SpaceX’s Falcon rocket.  You however, do Finn. From your early years, how things work and the world and it's mysteries are things that have interested you and excited you. People are drawn to passion, and for parents, there’s little more exciting than seeing your child passionate about learning and discovering. Your passion encourages the rest of us to keep pushing for things that move us.

Last week at your Student Led Conference (SLC), you presented your work to your dad and me and as you spoke, you looked directly into our eyes, exuding total confidence. You owned your SLC Finn - sharing what you have learned in your math and science class, sharing your neatly organized work and discussing your goals for the remaining school year. I sat listening to you and thought WOW – you couldn't have been more prepared and you make public speaking look so easy. You received perfect scores in all your classes – straight 100s, and had a few scores over 100 because you did extra credit. School comes easy for you Finn, and because of this, our biggest fear when it comes to your education, is that you will lose interest.  We want you to stay excited about learning and work with your teachers to help make this happen. Remember, you too play a role.

13.  You have enormous amounts of patience.  

Having a teenager is still pretty new for our family. We are all trying to figure out how things are supposed to work. While you are changing and trying to figure out this teenage thing, remember that we are too. I sometimes forget your age, and talk to you like you are a little kid. I know this is frustrating and that you prefer to be treated like an adult.  Since you aren't one quite yet, I’m trying to find that middle place - allowing you greater freedom, but still guiding you along too. More than anything, I want you to feel respected and loved and to know that we trust you.  Until you break is, we will you give you the benefit of the doubt. Be patient with me if I remind you to grab your permission slip, to do your homework, or practice piano.  I think giving ‘reminders’ is in a mom’s DNA.  Also, thank you for your continued patience with Scout. He loves and looks up to you SO much, so be gracious with him Finn. Always remember how important it is to have a sibling. They know you better than anyone, have your best interest in mind, support your dreams, and they make great travel companions. {just think how boring it would be without him along on our family vacations}. *wink*

14.  You are kind
You greet your mama at the door every night when I come home from work and you give me a hug and kiss. You do this more for me I'm sure than for you, and I am grateful for it. Though you don't feel like your mom's little boy, my arms still want to pick you up. Actually, I try sometimes, and you just laugh because I don't have enough leverage anymore. You are too tall {and I'm too short}. You show kindess to your father when you help him with projects that you really aren't interested in, but you know he is excited about. You are kind to our sweet elderly next door neighbors who wants to chat with you from time to time because...even when I'm sure you would rather be doing something else. Last, I see your kindness when you help Scout put broken Lego sets back together or when he gets stuck on complicated math problems. These are things you do regularly Finn, and it warms my heart because acts of kindness are never wasted.    

Happy 14^th Birthday Finn! You shine bright and are loved more than ALL the stars in the galaxy! 

Always and Forever.

Mom

You are 5’-1’ and weigh 86 lbs. You are a size 12 in shirts and jeans and you wear a size 6 shoe.

scout's 10th birthday celebration

to usher in his double digit birthday, scout really wanted a trampoline party.
he LOVES trampolines {like his momma}, but i was a little surprised he chose this because
he spends so much time jumping on his buddy dash's trampoline. i thought he might have
grown tired of it, but his love for jumping hasn't waned a bit.

since double digit birthdays are really special, and he's never had anything but backyard or park
birthday parties, i agreed to this off-site party. he had gone to get air for a friend's party,
and wanted to go there so i booked.  scout invited all his closest buddies,
with the exception of his bestie spencer who is living in spain. 

so on july 10th, the birthday boy got breakfast in bed and got to choose his menu.
he chose pancakes with blueberries, strawberries, whipped cream and bacon.
finn woke up early and helped me pull out the serving tray and arrange the fruit.
we carried it into his room pretty early because both boys had to be at jr. lifeguards
by 8:30am. scout was sound asleep as we entered the room singing happy birthday softly.
he sat up smiling with his tousled hair standing on end. after watching scout eat for a while,
finn ran back to the kitchen to get a little plate of food and brought into scout's room and sat
on the opposite end of his bed to keep scout company. we then watched our double digit kid
open cards and gifts from the family.

this past weekend, scout's birthday party finally happened! his friends from school and the neighborhood
were dropped off at our home mid-morning, and mr. g and i shuttled them to the trampoline park in two vehicles.
for 2 hours, the boys jumped, flipped, wrestled and played dodgeball. watching them made it clear to me why waiver's
are required for all jumpers. when the boys weren't playing dodgeball, they were taking turns jumping and flipping into
a giant pit of foam squares. it looked like so fun, I decided i had to give it a try. c wanted nothing to do with it
{he didn't grow up with a trampoline and thinks they are dangerous}. *sigh* i grew up with a trampoline so they don't phase me at all.
i'd love one in our backyard if we could find space for it. as i watched the boys flip into the pit, one after another, i admit, i was scared,
but since i had an audience of boys cheering me on, i got the confidence to do it. the boys, especially my three, were impressed their
middle age mom/wife did it. i was impressed i did it too {without injury}.  what a fun day. scout wants to have a mom/son date here
 in the future and i told him we will definitely be back.


after the trampoline park, c and i shuttled the boys home for cake and to swim and do a little archery. even though the boys had eaten
4 pizzas an hour earlier, they had no problem eating desert. christopher brought out the cake that he baked and decorated for scout.
there had been  discussion on whether the cake should be a trampoline, but in the end, they decided on a simple target cake,
since scout has been enjoying archery in the backyard so much. scout chose german chocolate for the simple round cake that c decorated
with white frosting and m&ms to make the bull's-eye and surrounding colored rings. it turned out beautifully!  i can't begin to describe
how much scout loved his cake.he was literally beaming when he saw his dad's final creation.
some photo highlights:

scout benjamin: our double digit kid

i can't believe i'm 10. it feels a little weird being double digits now.
- scout benjamin gerber




scout, today, you are celebrating your first double digit birthday. leading up to your big day, you said that you couldn't believe you were turning 10!  you said you loved being 9 and hoped 10 would be as good. i feel the same way. nine was wonderful, with so much growth emotionally. you've gone from a little boy to a big boy and it's been pure joy watching you grow. 
my tradition continues with a special birthday post to you. here are TEN things i want you to remember as you enter this next phase of your life:


1.  You have a heart of gold. if i asked you what your superpower is, you might tell me it's your soccer skills, or that you are great at math or spelling. it's true, you are good at these things, but i'd say your superpower is your sensitivity. you feel everything tremendously scout: time passing, memories, love and loss. just last night, we found your childhood blanket in the hall closet. you held it close and told me how many memories you have of that blanket. your eyes were a little watery as you shared one with me. oh scout, hold on to this part of yourself...don't let society tell you that has to be stuffed down or hidden. you can be strong and feel everything. in fact, feeling makes you stronger. keep that big heart of yours as you grow - it illuminates all those in it's path.
  

2. You don't give up - your dad and i know this, and your teachers, coaches and instructors recognize this as well. they admire your ability to focus and how determined you are. your 3rd/4th grade teacher {same teacher}, said you had "tenacity". whether you are doing khan academy, learning spanish, memorizing a recital piece, or learning a new soccer skill, you don't give up until you get it. sometimes it takes a few hours, a few weeks, months or even a year or longer for something really difficult. you are still working on mastering the rainbow {a soccer skill}, but you will stick to something until you get it. you seem to intuitively know that it doesn't matter how many times you fail, the important thing is to get right back up and try again. i hope this is something that you will do throughout your life scout. it will serve you well.


3.  You learned to whistle - Every year brings lots of firsts, and this year, you learned to whistle. you are pretty proud of yourself. you and your father are the only ones in the house that can do it. one day you simply announced you couldn't whistle and started practicing. you weren't a natural, but you kept at it for weeks until you got it. now you can whistle beautifully and can carry a tune. the star wars and star trek themes are your current favorites, and i know that when you are whistling, you are in a good mood. you promised to teach me to whistle one of these weekends. {i wish you luck son}


4. You still love to read. you've been reading for 6 years now scout, and your vocabulary and reading comprehension surpassed our new president's several years ago{no exaggeration}. you still eagerly share that jk rowling's harry potter series sparked your love of reading and it's the best series ever written! the first time you read it was in 1st grade and you've read the entire series four times since then. you never grow tired of it and I vow to get you and your brother to the wizarding world of harry potter at universal studios in hollywood this fall. other favorites books series of yours are: the unwanteds, the mysterious benedict society, and the ranger's apprentice.  you still bring a book with you every where you go and you don't care what others might think about your sitting in the large part of the shopping cart at target reading while i shop and push you around. i'll visit the home décor aisle to get you a pillow for your back to make you comfortable, and you read away. you often get interrupted by mothers saying how refreshing it is to see a child with their head in a book rather than electronics and you smile and go back to your reading. it's nothing new for you...it's just the way it's always been. on those rare occasions you don't have a book, i will give you my phone, but it's the exception. {like most males, you still detest shopping so i try not to bring you out with me when i have errands to run}


5. You travelled to Barcelona - after your best friend, spencer, moved to spain, we decided to save and visit him during spring break this year. what a trip we had! though the food and architecture didn't excite you like it did your mom, seeing your best friend again was a bit of heaven for you. spencer greeted us at the airport with his parents with a sign that said ' welcome to barcelona scout and angela'. i am sure you will never forget this trip, and i will never forget the look on your face as you reunited with your buddy. the highlights of this trip for you was attending school with spencer {you even wore a uniform}and going to a professional soccer game.  you saw fc barcelona play sevilla and win 3-0. lionel messi scored 2 of the goals and suarez scored one with a backwards bicycle kick that was truly AMAZING!  even this middle-aged momma was impressed.


6. Soccer is your passion - this is your 3rd year of competitive soccer. you played with riptide your first year and then moved to blast which is more local. your love for the game hasn't slowed down even an teensy bit. if anything, it grows stronger by the day. you are passionate about it scout - playing, watching, and learning everything you can about the sport. every parent wants their child to find their passion. there's nothing more gratifying to us when our children do, and you my son, have found yours. this may change from soccer to something else someday, but i hope you always have passions. they make life more meaningful and interesting. your dad and i will support whatever it is that excites you. for now that's soccer and it's been fun seeing your growth and maturity over the past year. when you lose a game, you still get angry or sad {depending on the situation}, BUT there are no more verbal outbursts from you and no big bursts of tears. you feel deeply, but you stay composed on the field. we are proud of you scout, but more importantly, you are proud of yourself. you've come a long way.


7. You love chocolate and are highly ticklish - you love all types of chocolate, but twix candy bars are your favorite! snickers and kit kat are the runner ups. you also are crazy ticklish and not just under your arms or your ribs either. you are ticklish practically EVERYWHERE and this makes it rather tricky to give the massages you ask for after jr. lifeguards or soccer practice. you ask for one but then you giggle and jump up as soon as i touch you. we work around it by me using the 'karate chop' method on your back. oh scout when we want to torture you, we all know what to do - we tickle you!!


the last are just things i want you to be aware of as you go from little boy to big boy:


8.  Pay attention to your life - you do a pretty good job of this now, finding ladybugs or snails that the rest of us just walk right by. you use the word 'savor' alot, and when you eat your dessert slowly, you tell the family you are "savoring" it, just like you do with the easter candy you still have. oh scout, hold on to this because life goes by fast. you are beginning to see this as you say goodbye forever to your single digit years. there is SO much to notice in the every day moments. as you get older, life will get busier and more complicated, but i encourage you to slow down like you do now and notice things. when we pay close attention to our experiences and our feelings, we are rewarded with fuller days and richer memories.


9. Never feel entitled - you don't struggle with this scout, but in a world where kids are overindulged and helicoptered, i wanted to list this because there is nothing worse to me than entitlement - in a child or an adult. your father and i have tried to teach and model for you how to work hard for everything you want - whatever that is. we expect you to carry your weight at home as part of our family. we know when things are handed to us or come too easily, and can't appreciate them the same way we do when we work hard for them. we hope your motivations will be for things that bring meaning to your life. if our family has a motto, it's "people and experiences are important, things aren't". though material things are nice and make our lives comfortable, we want you to always feel you have enough because you do. we are extremely fortunate to live as we do every day and we want you to recognize this. we have way more than we need. as a family, we make an effort to show gratitude - in the language that we use, to volunteering occasionally, and even sending thank you notes. all these little things are important - they bring an attitude of gratitude, teach you responsibility and ward off the entitlement monster.

10. Know you are loved, always - messing up is part of life buddy. you are going to make mistakes - lots of them. we all do. the point is to learn from them, let them go and start over. your dad and i will always love you, even when you behave in ways that we don't love. we encourage you to forgive others when they mess up. we also want you to try and surround yourself with friends who lift you up and make good choices, and who share similar values as you. you are still young and finding your way scout. don't let mistakes freeze you in your tracks. admit them, grow from them and move on. we do this as your parents every day, and you still love us, so be assured that when you make mistakes, we will still love you too...always.


happy birthday double digit kid!! you inspire our family in so many ways, including your big brother. {just re-read the birthday card he gave you}. we're lucky to have you as our youngest family member. you make our household SO much fun with your intensity, tenacity, and your big beautiful heart. we look forward to celebrating your birthday at the trampoline park soon!


love,
mom


your stats at age 10: you are 58 lbs. and 53" tall.
you are just about to grow out of size 7 clothing and into size 8. you wear a size 3 shoe.




disclaimer: i felt compelled to put in that trump reference because scout and i just heard him in an interview and OMG - it's truly pitiful. it's still shocking to me that this man is supposed to represent our country. i wish i could pack up and move somewhere else until he's out of office. ugh.