"If you look for it, I've got a sneaky feeling you'll find that love actualy is all around."
- prime minster, love actually (the film)
christmas comes and goes so fast and before i head back to work tomorrow,
i wanted to be sure to capture a few moments from our day. it was a beautiful morning here...sunny,
cool and crisp outside.
the boys were up at the crack of dawn {yet again}. i keep wondering when the sleeping in will start but it hasn't yet. this year i took an idea i read about and implemented a new tradition. i taped wrapping paper over our library door to keep the boys from coming out of the back part of the house before we were up which meant no peeking and it allowed c and i time to prepare the camera
on the tripod to catch video of the morning.
at 7am, we let them go and they ran through the wrapped door, making their way
to the tree in the living room to open his gifts. finn was thrilled to find a star wars lego
set he asked for, some new books and the #1 thing on this list, quantum, a space strategy
game had discovered months back and was dying to get.
scout was happy santa brought him a new soccer net, keeper gloves, a star wars lego set
and two boxed sets of chapter books, one series he's already completed. *sigh*. we truly can't keep enough books on hand for him which is why we are heading to the library this afternoon. grandma gerber sent him the book Scat and we are having a blast reading it before bed. finn, our tween, even comes and sits on the bed to listen....that's a testament to carl hiassen's writing. he's absolutely amazing!
c and i exchanged small gifts, played quantum with the boys ALOT, and tried selecting tile for our master bathroom remodel. it's not easy....especially when our tastes are higher than our budget.
we'll get there....
Tuesday, December 27, 2016
Saturday, December 10, 2016
jingle bell run just might be a new tradition
it's no secret i enjoy running, but once i hit the 40, my marathon and half marathon days ceased.
i tried to ignore the signs, but then i wised up and realized that if i want to remain active during
my silver haired years, i need to listen to my body and stop the long runs.
i can and will however do smaller runs, so when my girlfriend aspen and i learned of a run in
beautiful balboa park just before christmas, we thought it would be the perfect way to burn a
few calories we've accrued from drinking those seasonal starbucks drinks and spend time together
with our boys. she has two sons that are close in age to finn and scout, and all have known each
other since preschool.
we signed up early, i picked up all our bibs and met the gang at the park to run 3 miles.
we all wore green and with a crisp morning, we were all excited about the run. though we
started together, the boys quickly raced ahead and said they'd meet us at the finish line.
we smiled and joked about the day days of pushing the boys in jogging strollers, and later
urging them along to keep up with us. sometime, in the recent past, things flipped and we
are the ones having to keep up with them.
we had a wonderful morning, stopping to get a lite breakfast afterwards and talked about
making this a new holiday tradition. the boys cheered at that idea so we plan on being
back out there next year.
i tried to ignore the signs, but then i wised up and realized that if i want to remain active during
my silver haired years, i need to listen to my body and stop the long runs.
i can and will however do smaller runs, so when my girlfriend aspen and i learned of a run in
beautiful balboa park just before christmas, we thought it would be the perfect way to burn a
few calories we've accrued from drinking those seasonal starbucks drinks and spend time together
with our boys. she has two sons that are close in age to finn and scout, and all have known each
other since preschool.
we signed up early, i picked up all our bibs and met the gang at the park to run 3 miles.
we all wore green and with a crisp morning, we were all excited about the run. though we
started together, the boys quickly raced ahead and said they'd meet us at the finish line.
we smiled and joked about the day days of pushing the boys in jogging strollers, and later
urging them along to keep up with us. sometime, in the recent past, things flipped and we
are the ones having to keep up with them.
we had a wonderful morning, stopping to get a lite breakfast afterwards and talked about
making this a new holiday tradition. the boys cheered at that idea so we plan on being
back out there next year.
 |
| mason (9), jackson (11), finn (12) and scout (9), aspen + angela |
Friday, November 11, 2016
a milestone: 25th wedding anniversary
grow old with me, the best is yet to be.
- william woodsworth
-
made lifelong friend, learned to swing dance, surf, snowboard
we ran our first half marathon together, made lifelong friends,
and i fell in love with c's family.
i told my mom i hit the jackpot when i married into his family.
the warmth and love they've showed me from the very beginning
is truly phenomenal.
i am fortunate.
i am grateful.
i'd marry him all over again.
- william woodsworth
-
today, christopher and i are celebrating 25 years
together - 25 years. it seems IMPOSSIBLE, but
only from the aspect that it doesn't FEEL like that
long. i guess that's a good sign?
it's not all been wedded bliss. we've gone through all
kinds of things, and i have no doubt there will be bumps
in the road ahead too as that's the nature of life, BUT
we're committed to each other and our marriage, and
i have no doubts we will grow old and wrinkly together.
i have no doubts we will grow old and wrinkly together.
i'm so glad we met on the beach in florida all those years ago.
he caught my eye immediately and it wasn't because he drove
a very cool italian car when all the other boys his age drove
muscle cars. it was his confidence, his intelligence and the
conversation we had that drew me towards him.
{he was also pretty darn cute}.
conversation we had that drew me towards him.
{he was also pretty darn cute}.
when i ran into him again at a party and got to know him better,
well i knew we were kindred spirits and that life with him would
be an adventure.
well i knew we were kindred spirits and that life with him would
be an adventure.
we've had so many adventures, i can't begin to list them all,
but i'll name a few that come to mind. we moved to the desert
just a few short months after we married to start a new life as
grown ups. we worked, played, learned to rock climb, made lifelong friend, learned to swing dance, surf, snowboard
we ran our first half marathon together, made lifelong friends,
and i fell in love with c's family.
i told my mom i hit the jackpot when i married into his family.
the warmth and love they've showed me from the very beginning
is truly phenomenal.
i am fortunate.
i am grateful.
i'd marry him all over again.
Wednesday, November 2, 2016
Scout's Fall Exhibition Night: 4th Grade
it's been a whirlwind two weeks. i'm ready for vacation now...i think we all are.
c is back from hawaii which is wonderful! i think i may have been more excited than
the boys when he walked through the door with his signature whistle indicating he was home.
{he's been doing this since we were newlyweds}. anyway, he was missed...ALOT!!
he shared all about his trip, showing us beautiful photos of island and several of trevor
competing in the xterra triathlon. since it was an off road race, spectators were limited
to transition areas. i'll try to post later and share some when c gets them on the home server.
while c was away, scout was busy preparing for his class Exhibition Night.
tonight, the family all met at the school and got to see the fruits of all his labor.
this included seeing the physical skateboard that he built in class, and all the writing
and documentation surrounding it. at the end of the evening, all the kids put on all their
safety gear, grabbed their skateboards and went out on the school's blacktop.
the kids skated while their parents watched and tried to take video and photos which
didn't turn out as there wasn't enough light. scout has grown exponentially in his abilities
and it's been really fun to watch. he's working on 'dropping in' to bowls and would
love to be able to perform an ollie someday.
i found a sweet poem in scout's notebook that he wrote at the beginning of the school year.
it has nothing to do with his skateboarding project, but it has everything to do with who he is.
it shows one of the most beautiful qualities i find in him...how loyal of a friend he is, his ability
to be vulnerable and to be introspective. he clarified some things in the poem to me later about his fears and my heart melted.
as a mother, one of my many jobs is to help my children see their strengths and their weaknesses,
and for them to be comfortable with them. at 9, scout has this confidence and my hope is as he
grows, he won't lose this. if he can hold on to it, his future wife will be one very lucky lady.
c is back from hawaii which is wonderful! i think i may have been more excited than
the boys when he walked through the door with his signature whistle indicating he was home.
{he's been doing this since we were newlyweds}. anyway, he was missed...ALOT!!
he shared all about his trip, showing us beautiful photos of island and several of trevor
competing in the xterra triathlon. since it was an off road race, spectators were limited
to transition areas. i'll try to post later and share some when c gets them on the home server.
while c was away, scout was busy preparing for his class Exhibition Night.
tonight, the family all met at the school and got to see the fruits of all his labor.
this included seeing the physical skateboard that he built in class, and all the writing
and documentation surrounding it. at the end of the evening, all the kids put on all their
safety gear, grabbed their skateboards and went out on the school's blacktop.
the kids skated while their parents watched and tried to take video and photos which
didn't turn out as there wasn't enough light. scout has grown exponentially in his abilities
and it's been really fun to watch. he's working on 'dropping in' to bowls and would
love to be able to perform an ollie someday.
i found a sweet poem in scout's notebook that he wrote at the beginning of the school year.
it has nothing to do with his skateboarding project, but it has everything to do with who he is.
it shows one of the most beautiful qualities i find in him...how loyal of a friend he is, his ability
to be vulnerable and to be introspective. he clarified some things in the poem to me later about his fears and my heart melted.
as a mother, one of my many jobs is to help my children see their strengths and their weaknesses,
and for them to be comfortable with them. at 9, scout has this confidence and my hope is as he
grows, he won't lose this. if he can hold on to it, his future wife will be one very lucky lady.
Saturday, October 22, 2016
how many days till halloween
halloween is just around the corner and today, almost one week before the day,
i started decorating. the good news is, i started and finished in less than 30 minutes.
we don't have that much thankfully. before c left to hawaii, he asked if i wanted our
halloween storage bins pulled down from the rafters in the garage. YES, please, i said.
he was surprised i hadn't asked for them earlier. me too.
a few years back, i'd have asked for them the first week in october,
but back then i had little boys. now i have big boys. with scout playing competitive soccer
and a tween son who has surf practice and competitions that last hours on weekends,
our weekends are full.
there was a time when the boys had no where to be, and when they were little, we kept life
pretty simple and spent lots of time together....knowing it wouldn't always be that way.
my fondest memories of those years with little ones are walking to the beach on weekends,
playing in the sand for a few hours, eating a picnic lunch {usually from taco surf},
and then we'd walk home, rinse off and take a family nap. those were the days.
so we got a late start this year decorating and between scout's soccer game
this morning and explorer's fall festival, we pulled the bins into the living room.
there we found almost every one of the boys' past costumes {i'm sentimental and can't
seem to part with them}, styrofoam pumpkins to decorate our fireplace, a faux skull,
black rubber rats, paper bats that get taped to the fireplace facade, and even the doubled
layered halloween plastic cups from target that the boys have had since preschool.
between the two layers, pumpkins and ghosts float around in glitter water.
the boys think they are 'kinda cool' so i keep them around.
much to my chagrin, we aren't doing a group themed costumes.
we all enjoy star trek, so i suggested we dress as characters from any of the tv shows.
i specifically didn't say 'the next generation, as i wanted to allow the boys lots of flexibility.
finn loved the idea and went back and forth between going as wesley crusher from star trek:
the next generation or spock. in the end he chose spock. {i was surprised lieutenant data wasn't
in the running}. i purchased a simple red star trek dress on amazon and when i showed to the boys,
scout pointed out that i wasn't really going to look like uhura because i'm not black.
i had no specific character in mind, but apparently uhuru wears a red dress and is african.
no matter.
scout proceeded to tell me he really didn't want to dress as anyone from star trek.
he really wants to wear his thomas muller soccer uniform. when i mentioned he wore
that uniform last year, he clarified that he wore muller's germany's national team uniform.
thomas also plays for bayern munchen, a club team in germany. they are different and he has
several jerseys. so be it i said. he's past those years where i have influence on what he dresses as.
{thank goodness i dressed him as a penguin, skunk, frog, bird and owl when he was younger}.
i can hardly wait to see finn all dressed - he has the pointy spock ears and a black wig to complete his outfit.
he wasn't a fan of the black shiny wig, but with blonde hair, it's a must if he wants to be spock.
i'm looking forward to seeing him fully dressed before he goes off with his friends {middle schoolers
don't trick or treat with their parents}. luckily, scout and his friends are happy to have us tag along.
i started decorating. the good news is, i started and finished in less than 30 minutes.
we don't have that much thankfully. before c left to hawaii, he asked if i wanted our
halloween storage bins pulled down from the rafters in the garage. YES, please, i said.
he was surprised i hadn't asked for them earlier. me too.
a few years back, i'd have asked for them the first week in october,
but back then i had little boys. now i have big boys. with scout playing competitive soccer
and a tween son who has surf practice and competitions that last hours on weekends,
our weekends are full.
there was a time when the boys had no where to be, and when they were little, we kept life
pretty simple and spent lots of time together....knowing it wouldn't always be that way.
my fondest memories of those years with little ones are walking to the beach on weekends,
playing in the sand for a few hours, eating a picnic lunch {usually from taco surf},
and then we'd walk home, rinse off and take a family nap. those were the days.
so we got a late start this year decorating and between scout's soccer game
this morning and explorer's fall festival, we pulled the bins into the living room.
there we found almost every one of the boys' past costumes {i'm sentimental and can't
seem to part with them}, styrofoam pumpkins to decorate our fireplace, a faux skull,
black rubber rats, paper bats that get taped to the fireplace facade, and even the doubled
layered halloween plastic cups from target that the boys have had since preschool.
between the two layers, pumpkins and ghosts float around in glitter water.
the boys think they are 'kinda cool' so i keep them around.
much to my chagrin, we aren't doing a group themed costumes.
we all enjoy star trek, so i suggested we dress as characters from any of the tv shows.
i specifically didn't say 'the next generation, as i wanted to allow the boys lots of flexibility.
finn loved the idea and went back and forth between going as wesley crusher from star trek:
the next generation or spock. in the end he chose spock. {i was surprised lieutenant data wasn't
in the running}. i purchased a simple red star trek dress on amazon and when i showed to the boys,
scout pointed out that i wasn't really going to look like uhura because i'm not black.
i had no specific character in mind, but apparently uhuru wears a red dress and is african.
no matter.
scout proceeded to tell me he really didn't want to dress as anyone from star trek.
he really wants to wear his thomas muller soccer uniform. when i mentioned he wore
that uniform last year, he clarified that he wore muller's germany's national team uniform.
thomas also plays for bayern munchen, a club team in germany. they are different and he has
several jerseys. so be it i said. he's past those years where i have influence on what he dresses as.
{thank goodness i dressed him as a penguin, skunk, frog, bird and owl when he was younger}.
i can hardly wait to see finn all dressed - he has the pointy spock ears and a black wig to complete his outfit.
he wasn't a fan of the black shiny wig, but with blonde hair, it's a must if he wants to be spock.
i'm looking forward to seeing him fully dressed before he goes off with his friends {middle schoolers
don't trick or treat with their parents}. luckily, scout and his friends are happy to have us tag along.
Friday, October 21, 2016
my man's in maui...without me
yes, the title of this blog post is true.
c is off playing in hawaii for almost a full week and i'm stuck at home.
he is there with his brother trevor, who will be racing in the
Xterra's World Championship off-road triathlon this sunday!
it's a pretty big deal and t' trained really hard to get there.
i love watching races and competitions, and wish i could be there
to cheer him on. c promises me he will take photos and yell extra loud for me.
the utah and san diego gerber families all wanted to be there, but
the cost was just too high, so the brothers went alone. I don't know if the
boys have ever taken a trip together, so this is pretty special and well, it's
the kind of thing that creates memories and strengthens bonds.
I encourage that and c would do the same for me in a heartbeat.
the big race is on sunday, and when trevor isn't training and familiarizing
himself with the course {yesterday he rode his bike 21 miles}, the brothers
are exploring the island, having fun and sending photos to us back at home.
here's one c sent tonight. {hiking through a bamboo forest is on MY bucket list}.
until then, i'm living vicariously through these brothers!
c is off playing in hawaii for almost a full week and i'm stuck at home.
he is there with his brother trevor, who will be racing in the
Xterra's World Championship off-road triathlon this sunday!
it's a pretty big deal and t' trained really hard to get there.
i love watching races and competitions, and wish i could be there
to cheer him on. c promises me he will take photos and yell extra loud for me.
the utah and san diego gerber families all wanted to be there, but
the cost was just too high, so the brothers went alone. I don't know if the
boys have ever taken a trip together, so this is pretty special and well, it's
the kind of thing that creates memories and strengthens bonds.
I encourage that and c would do the same for me in a heartbeat.
the big race is on sunday, and when trevor isn't training and familiarizing
himself with the course {yesterday he rode his bike 21 miles}, the brothers
are exploring the island, having fun and sending photos to us back at home.
here's one c sent tonight. {hiking through a bamboo forest is on MY bucket list}.
until then, i'm living vicariously through these brothers!
Wednesday, October 19, 2016
a princess is on her way
a new baby is like the beginning of all things...
wonder, hope, a dream of possibilities.
- eda j. leshan
my brother todd and his wife heather are expecting a baby girl
at the end of this month. heather lovingly refers to her as princess,
as she's been anxiously awaiting her arrival.
they are already the proud parents of 2 sweet and active boys,
and this little girl will complete their family.
i am excited my niece is expected in late October, which means
i get to meet her when the boys and i visit next month. she will be so new!
gosh, there's something special about holding a newborn....
their smell, their smallness, and the endless possibilities they bring.
my brother shared this photo and i got the 'ok' to share here.
this photo is recent...and shows my sis in full bloom and glowing.
we're all ready to welcome this baby girl to the world.
wonder, hope, a dream of possibilities.
- eda j. leshan
my brother todd and his wife heather are expecting a baby girl
at the end of this month. heather lovingly refers to her as princess,
as she's been anxiously awaiting her arrival.
they are already the proud parents of 2 sweet and active boys,
and this little girl will complete their family.
i am excited my niece is expected in late October, which means
i get to meet her when the boys and i visit next month. she will be so new!
gosh, there's something special about holding a newborn....
their smell, their smallness, and the endless possibilities they bring.
my brother shared this photo and i got the 'ok' to share here.
this photo is recent...and shows my sis in full bloom and glowing.
we're all ready to welcome this baby girl to the world.
Tuesday, October 18, 2016
auntie jen's visit to san diego
as a birthday gift to herself, auntie jen flew back to san diego
to relax and visit family and friends! she visited with friends
and old coworkers during the week and spent the weekend with
our family watching an outdoor movie {pele}, attending scout's
soccer game, visiting sea world, celebrating her birthday with
krispy kreme donuts, and visiting belmont park the night before
she flew back to florida.
i didn't get near as much time as i would have like
{the boys either} but we were grateful for the time we had.
the day after she left, out of the blue, scout said "i wish aunt
jen hadn't moved away. i like hanging out with her and i miss
the sleepovers we used to have".
it's only been 2 years since she has lived here, and though it
doesn't seem like that much to an adult, to a kid, it can seem
like a lifetime.
i reminded him that auntie jen loves him LOTS... no matter
how far away she lives. i also reminded him that we will be
seeing her very soon, along with grandma and grandpa, auntie
and uncles, and cousins! we are overdue and are all excited.
Thursday, October 13, 2016
scout's first ping pong tournament
"i hope they don't go easy on me just because i'm a kid"
- scout gerber, age 9
my company hosted their 4th annual ping pong tournament a few weeks ago.
tables are rented, a food truck brought in and employees and clients meet for a
fun and fierce competition in the back parking lot of our office.
typically i help with the front end stuff, set-up and registration but this year,
i thought it would be more fun to play, especially since both of my boys were
playing.
c has played in it every year and the little guys have come out to watch.
last year, the organizer of the event here from my company, saw scout's
skills and welcomed him to play in the 2016 competition. he was thrilled but
was concerned that people would go easy on him because he was a kid.
{he never wants people to go easy on him...what's the fun in that he says}.
now our family doesn't own a pong pong table. we never have. what we do
have is a large wood table that we use as one. a friend of c's surprised us with a
net and paddles about 2 years ago and our kitchen table is used more for games and
pong pong and projects more than for eating on. the table is not quite as long as a
standard ping pong table and it's a good foot and a half narrower but that might have
worked to our advantage as all 3 of us progressed to the 'winner's bracket'.
we all played hard and if anyone started out going easy on scout, they quickly learned
not to. he played his heart out and ended up losing to the mike, one of our young
engineers who has won the last 2 years. im happy to report that he didn't get upset at all.
he played his best and was actually quite pleased with himself. on our way home he
gave me the run down on every match he played and who he will try to beat next year.
some highlights of the day.
- scout gerber, age 9
my company hosted their 4th annual ping pong tournament a few weeks ago.
tables are rented, a food truck brought in and employees and clients meet for a
fun and fierce competition in the back parking lot of our office.
typically i help with the front end stuff, set-up and registration but this year,
i thought it would be more fun to play, especially since both of my boys were
playing.
c has played in it every year and the little guys have come out to watch.
last year, the organizer of the event here from my company, saw scout's
skills and welcomed him to play in the 2016 competition. he was thrilled but
was concerned that people would go easy on him because he was a kid.
{he never wants people to go easy on him...what's the fun in that he says}.
now our family doesn't own a pong pong table. we never have. what we do
have is a large wood table that we use as one. a friend of c's surprised us with a
net and paddles about 2 years ago and our kitchen table is used more for games and
pong pong and projects more than for eating on. the table is not quite as long as a
standard ping pong table and it's a good foot and a half narrower but that might have
worked to our advantage as all 3 of us progressed to the 'winner's bracket'.
we all played hard and if anyone started out going easy on scout, they quickly learned
not to. he played his heart out and ended up losing to the mike, one of our young
engineers who has won the last 2 years. im happy to report that he didn't get upset at all.
he played his best and was actually quite pleased with himself. on our way home he
gave me the run down on every match he played and who he will try to beat next year.
some highlights of the day.
 |
| scout {age 9} - exp's 4th annual ping pong tournament |
Tuesday, October 4, 2016
parenting...it's really really hard
"nobody understands me in this family,
you are all just mean".
- scout benjamin, age 9
these were just a few words spoken by our youngest
two weeks ago after one of his soccer games. his words sounded more like
those from a tween or teenager, but they were from our newly nine year old
who was extremely upset at a decision that was made when he was showing poor
sportsmanship. after many many discussions on this topic, and 2 warnings to get himself
together, i told scout he would not be allowed to play in his next soccer game.
tears flowed and harsh remarks came. he told us how unfair he was being treated,
how no one understands him and shifted blame to the child who tripped him on
the field and to the referee who didn't give the child a yellow card. *sigh*
after we arrived home and scout took a relaxing bath, c reminded me that since
the call was made, we {I}needed to stick to our guns. c doesn't have any problems with this,
he's consistent and extremely self disciplined. i do pretty well, especially with bed times
and other rules, but this was new and i think he could sense how bad i felt for scout.
it was a difficult decision, and whether it would work or not, i had no idea, but i stuck to
my guns. over the next few days, he would sweetly ask, with those big blue puppy dog eyes
and long dark eyelashes of his, if he we really weren't going to let him play. i said yes.
midweek, he eventually stopped asking.
on the day of the game, he asked if he could dress in his uniform and
sit on the bench with this team because "that's what professionals players do". we said
sure. it was painful for him and for me watching him sit there, knowing how much he
wanted to be on the field, but it was a teaching moment.
a very thoughtful coworker of mine, who isn't a parent yet, heard my story in the lunchroom,
and shared a video that she came across. she said it made her think of my recent situation.
i absolutely loved the video....so much that i shared with almost every mom friend i have in
my contacts {some had already seen on facebook}.
the mother is sharing things every parent knows intuitively, but may {or may not} struggle with.
she zeros in on the one very important aspect of parenting - that it's HARD, really hard and there
will be lots of times our kids don't like us, and that's ok. our job isn't to be liked. our job is to
raise human beings who will be productive members of society.
it's honest, raw, and funny and she says it all while eating from a carton of ice cream
{and making a wine milkshake}.
you are all just mean".
- scout benjamin, age 9
these were just a few words spoken by our youngest
two weeks ago after one of his soccer games. his words sounded more like
those from a tween or teenager, but they were from our newly nine year old
who was extremely upset at a decision that was made when he was showing poor
sportsmanship. after many many discussions on this topic, and 2 warnings to get himself
together, i told scout he would not be allowed to play in his next soccer game.
tears flowed and harsh remarks came. he told us how unfair he was being treated,
how no one understands him and shifted blame to the child who tripped him on
the field and to the referee who didn't give the child a yellow card. *sigh*
after we arrived home and scout took a relaxing bath, c reminded me that since
the call was made, we {I}needed to stick to our guns. c doesn't have any problems with this,
he's consistent and extremely self disciplined. i do pretty well, especially with bed times
and other rules, but this was new and i think he could sense how bad i felt for scout.
it was a difficult decision, and whether it would work or not, i had no idea, but i stuck to
my guns. over the next few days, he would sweetly ask, with those big blue puppy dog eyes
and long dark eyelashes of his, if he we really weren't going to let him play. i said yes.
midweek, he eventually stopped asking.
on the day of the game, he asked if he could dress in his uniform and
sit on the bench with this team because "that's what professionals players do". we said
sure. it was painful for him and for me watching him sit there, knowing how much he
wanted to be on the field, but it was a teaching moment.
a very thoughtful coworker of mine, who isn't a parent yet, heard my story in the lunchroom,
and shared a video that she came across. she said it made her think of my recent situation.
i absolutely loved the video....so much that i shared with almost every mom friend i have in
my contacts {some had already seen on facebook}.
the mother is sharing things every parent knows intuitively, but may {or may not} struggle with.
she zeros in on the one very important aspect of parenting - that it's HARD, really hard and there
will be lots of times our kids don't like us, and that's ok. our job isn't to be liked. our job is to
raise human beings who will be productive members of society.
it's honest, raw, and funny and she says it all while eating from a carton of ice cream
{and making a wine milkshake}.
Monday, September 26, 2016
tweenhood
grown-ups never understand anything by themselves,
and it is tiresome for children to be always and forever
explaining things to them".
- antoine de saint-exupery, the little prince, 1943
when finn was little, he would ask question after question.
it was adorable and exhausting as his questions seemed endless.
as he inches closer to his teen years, he no longer asks tons of questions.
with the exception of asking when dinner will be ready, if he can have a friend over,
what snacks he can eat, or if i washed his nasa tee-shirt, questions are rare.
it's funny how those little children who believe their parents were all-knowing just
a few years earlier, suddenly believe they know so much more than their parents.
they don't think about how parents being on the planet for several decades gives them
more wisdom than someone who's been on the planet for just over one.
this is a typical 12 year old. *sigh*
i know this is perfectly normal development in adolescence.
this is how children begin to separate themselves so they can one day go out into the
world. i remind myself of this when i hear a big sigh or see him rolling his eyes.
though i've read my favorite parenting book, wild things: the art of nurturing boys
from cover to cover and the specific chapters on my boys' particular ages twice,
it had been almost a year. this past weekend i pulled it out of my nightstand drawer
to 'brush up' on tween boys. i'm not that parent who believes i have all the answers
and can do it all on my own - no way! i believe parents are strongest and parent better
when we have a network of people to lean on and learn from.
i continually tap into all the resources i have available: my husband, my parents,
my in-laws, aunties, sisters, sister-in-laws, friends, teachers {past and present},
and i read as much as i can from the experts. with a teen and a tween just around the corner,
i can't be too prepared.
i'll share a quote by one of the authors of the book, who is also a father of 3 boys.
he tells parents "fasten your seat belt. the changes that are coming in your boys'
life are gonna knock the wind out of you".
wow - that was powerful. my seatbelt is fastened and i'm ready. {i think}
as finn creeps closer to his teen years, which is referred to as
'the wanderer' stage {ages 13-17} in my parenting book, scoutie is entering
'the individual' stage {ages 9-12}. i've got a little practice with this stage,
but i admit, and i was really enjoying his previous 'lover' stage.
fortunately, he's still got a bit of that left. *grin*
childhood....it's such a small portion of a person's life, but it brings every emotion
with it - pure bliss, exhaustion, happiness, sadness, anger, fear and frustration.
most of all, it brings a kind of love only a parent can experience.
~ and finn, if you are reading this, be patient with your dad and me.
i know it's tiresome to forever be explaining things to us. *wink*
and it is tiresome for children to be always and forever
explaining things to them".
- antoine de saint-exupery, the little prince, 1943
when finn was little, he would ask question after question.
it was adorable and exhausting as his questions seemed endless.
as he inches closer to his teen years, he no longer asks tons of questions.
with the exception of asking when dinner will be ready, if he can have a friend over,
what snacks he can eat, or if i washed his nasa tee-shirt, questions are rare.
it's funny how those little children who believe their parents were all-knowing just
a few years earlier, suddenly believe they know so much more than their parents.
they don't think about how parents being on the planet for several decades gives them
more wisdom than someone who's been on the planet for just over one.
this is a typical 12 year old. *sigh*
i know this is perfectly normal development in adolescence.
this is how children begin to separate themselves so they can one day go out into the
world. i remind myself of this when i hear a big sigh or see him rolling his eyes.
though i've read my favorite parenting book, wild things: the art of nurturing boys
from cover to cover and the specific chapters on my boys' particular ages twice,
it had been almost a year. this past weekend i pulled it out of my nightstand drawer
to 'brush up' on tween boys. i'm not that parent who believes i have all the answers
and can do it all on my own - no way! i believe parents are strongest and parent better
when we have a network of people to lean on and learn from.
i continually tap into all the resources i have available: my husband, my parents,
my in-laws, aunties, sisters, sister-in-laws, friends, teachers {past and present},
and i read as much as i can from the experts. with a teen and a tween just around the corner,
i can't be too prepared.
i'll share a quote by one of the authors of the book, who is also a father of 3 boys.
he tells parents "fasten your seat belt. the changes that are coming in your boys'
life are gonna knock the wind out of you".
wow - that was powerful. my seatbelt is fastened and i'm ready. {i think}
as finn creeps closer to his teen years, which is referred to as
'the wanderer' stage {ages 13-17} in my parenting book, scoutie is entering
'the individual' stage {ages 9-12}. i've got a little practice with this stage,
but i admit, and i was really enjoying his previous 'lover' stage.
fortunately, he's still got a bit of that left. *grin*
childhood....it's such a small portion of a person's life, but it brings every emotion
with it - pure bliss, exhaustion, happiness, sadness, anger, fear and frustration.
most of all, it brings a kind of love only a parent can experience.
~ and finn, if you are reading this, be patient with your dad and me.
i know it's tiresome to forever be explaining things to us. *wink*
Thursday, August 18, 2016
spencer's in spain
scout's bestie and his family have been in spain for well over a
month now,
and i have been thoroughly enjoying reading the blog that his mother,
has been posting to. she announced to us at her last book club dinner that she had started
writing a blog to document her family's one year adventure in spain. she actually started
before she left so she could document all they had to do on the 'front end'. she asked us
ladies to give our "honest critique" of her writing as she may consider using it to write a
book about their experience there. we were all happy to.
oh how i loved her idea. a blog would offer SO much more than Facebook or any Instagram
posts she could share. writing would give all of us us ladies a true idea of what her days are like,
and what her thoughts are on life there. any woman who uproots a family of 5 {it was ALL my friend's idea}, to live abroad in a country where she doesn't really speak the language, excites me
and makes me want to peek into her mind a bit more. what she did takes lots of planning, patience, courage, a true love of other people and cultures, a bit of faith and the understanding that travel is ONE of the few things in life we can buy that makes our lives richer.
and i have been thoroughly enjoying reading the blog that his mother,
has been posting to. she announced to us at her last book club dinner that she had started
writing a blog to document her family's one year adventure in spain. she actually started
before she left so she could document all they had to do on the 'front end'. she asked us
ladies to give our "honest critique" of her writing as she may consider using it to write a
book about their experience there. we were all happy to.
oh how i loved her idea. a blog would offer SO much more than Facebook or any Instagram
posts she could share. writing would give all of us us ladies a true idea of what her days are like,
and what her thoughts are on life there. any woman who uproots a family of 5 {it was ALL my friend's idea}, to live abroad in a country where she doesn't really speak the language, excites me
and makes me want to peek into her mind a bit more. what she did takes lots of planning, patience, courage, a true love of other people and cultures, a bit of faith and the understanding that travel is ONE of the few things in life we can buy that makes our lives richer.
i am learning so much by following her blog....from the day to day things in her life like where
they shop for food. I've learned there are separate shops for meat, cheese, vegetables and fruit and bread. there is a megastore, similar to Costco. tourists use it, but most locals avoid it.
similar to the US, shopping in these stores is a bit frowned upon as it hurts the local economy - mom and pop shops and the local farmers and their families. she hasn't been able to avoid it altogether but for the most part, she is trying to live as the locals do and watching her from afar is truly enriching and beautiful.
they shop for food. I've learned there are separate shops for meat, cheese, vegetables and fruit and bread. there is a megastore, similar to Costco. tourists use it, but most locals avoid it.
similar to the US, shopping in these stores is a bit frowned upon as it hurts the local economy - mom and pop shops and the local farmers and their families. she hasn't been able to avoid it altogether but for the most part, she is trying to live as the locals do and watching her from afar is truly enriching and beautiful.
i'm also learning how this mother of 3 is navigating her way around the city on trains and buses, about la festa major de gracias, which lasts for a week and goes until 4am every night
{not fun if you live right in the middle of it}, how to cut through all the red tape foreigners experience in order to opena bank account, get an apartment, and even buy a used car.
she explained it all in great detail in her posts. whew!
I was also reminded about the ever important 'siesta'. this is a huge part of spanish
culture and it's still going strong. businesses close for several hours every afternoon
{usually from 2-5/6pm}, and reopen around 6pm until about 8pm. this means dinner is
eaten late for all. children are often found in the squares playing soccer until 11pm.
{not fun if you live right in the middle of it}, how to cut through all the red tape foreigners experience in order to opena bank account, get an apartment, and even buy a used car.
she explained it all in great detail in her posts. whew!
I was also reminded about the ever important 'siesta'. this is a huge part of spanish
culture and it's still going strong. businesses close for several hours every afternoon
{usually from 2-5/6pm}, and reopen around 6pm until about 8pm. this means dinner is
eaten late for all. children are often found in the squares playing soccer until 11pm.
life is different in spain and I'm enjoying hearing about all of it!
i am so tempted to share the link to her blog, but I need to get
permission before i do.
in the meantime, i will share this adorable photo of her crew, whom she lovingly calls
'The Adventurers'. she doesn't use their proper names in her blog. instead, she has
given them all nicknames and refers to them as:
left to right: Little Angel, The Scientist, Senor Aventura, Force of Nature, Soccer Dude
in the meantime, i will share this adorable photo of her crew, whom she lovingly calls
'The Adventurers'. she doesn't use their proper names in her blog. instead, she has
given them all nicknames and refers to them as:
left to right: Little Angel, The Scientist, Senor Aventura, Force of Nature, Soccer Dude
Saturday, July 30, 2016
scout's 9th birthday
all i want to do for my birthday is play soccer.
- scout benjamin
before i even checked in with scout about this year's birthday theme,
i already knew what it would be. it couldn't have been anything else
but soccer. it is his world right now. even when he is asleep, i
imagine him dreaming of blocking shots as keeper {he loves this position},
or making amazing header goals {he actually did this in his last tournament}.
we celebrated a few weeks later this year, as scout had soccer tournaments
and a friend out of town who he really wanted to be there. he didn't seem to mind at
all which is yet another sign he's grown up alot in the last year.
once i had the theme, i jumped onto etsy and found this talented designer from
barcelona of all places and bought her 'soccer digital printables'. i made sure to
get scout's permission beforehand of course.
christopher worked with scout to come up with a design for his
birthday cake. they ended deciding on a simple jersey design in
german's national team's colors and scout's age on it.
my little loved it and c enjoyed that it didn't take 2 days to
design/decorate {unlike last year's harry potter cake} whew!
the birthday celebration took place over two days.
scout had a handful of his best soccer lovin' friends overnight.
they played soccer, swam after dark, enjoyed eating a 28" pizza
and making their own sundaes with lots of toppings!
the following morning, i drove them to our local elementary school
where they played soccer with my coworker, who is not only a
talented engineer, but a soccer player. he played for yale university
for four years!
scout had asked if i could get a 'professional' soccer player for his birthday, preferably, thomas muller.
i explained that i didn't have the connections nor the resources for this, however i did have a pretty good alternative.
when i told him about my coworker, the first thing he asked was if he was young {god forbid he be old!}.
i assured him he wasn't a day over 25 which he loved. he had the time of his life, and i'm pretty sure peter had as much fun as the little guys.
after playing soccer, the boys came back to the house and some of scout's non-soccer playing friends joined for lunch and a pool party.
the kids swam, took turns flying across the yard on the zip-line and doing crazy jumps/poses off a platform while i called out scores for 'best style'.
they had a blast and i had fun right along with them.
we ended the party with a soccer piñata which fell down after two whacks from scout. this one wasn't designed by mr. gerber, so it wasn't structurally sound.
i had my doubts when i bought it at party city, but was hopeful. the kids got over their disappointment quickly when c climbed up to the zipline platform and
threw the candy out all over the pool deck. the boys swarmed like bees to collect it all in their treat bags. my tween said he was "too old" for the piñata
and made himself useful by capturing it all on c's phone.
- scout benjamin
before i even checked in with scout about this year's birthday theme,
i already knew what it would be. it couldn't have been anything else
but soccer. it is his world right now. even when he is asleep, i
imagine him dreaming of blocking shots as keeper {he loves this position},
or making amazing header goals {he actually did this in his last tournament}.
we celebrated a few weeks later this year, as scout had soccer tournaments
and a friend out of town who he really wanted to be there. he didn't seem to mind at
all which is yet another sign he's grown up alot in the last year.
once i had the theme, i jumped onto etsy and found this talented designer from
barcelona of all places and bought her 'soccer digital printables'. i made sure to
get scout's permission beforehand of course.
christopher worked with scout to come up with a design for his
birthday cake. they ended deciding on a simple jersey design in
german's national team's colors and scout's age on it.
my little loved it and c enjoyed that it didn't take 2 days to
design/decorate {unlike last year's harry potter cake} whew!
the birthday celebration took place over two days.
scout had a handful of his best soccer lovin' friends overnight.
they played soccer, swam after dark, enjoyed eating a 28" pizza
and making their own sundaes with lots of toppings!
the following morning, i drove them to our local elementary school
where they played soccer with my coworker, who is not only a
talented engineer, but a soccer player. he played for yale university
for four years!
scout had asked if i could get a 'professional' soccer player for his birthday, preferably, thomas muller.
i explained that i didn't have the connections nor the resources for this, however i did have a pretty good alternative.
when i told him about my coworker, the first thing he asked was if he was young {god forbid he be old!}.
i assured him he wasn't a day over 25 which he loved. he had the time of his life, and i'm pretty sure peter had as much fun as the little guys.
after playing soccer, the boys came back to the house and some of scout's non-soccer playing friends joined for lunch and a pool party.
the kids swam, took turns flying across the yard on the zip-line and doing crazy jumps/poses off a platform while i called out scores for 'best style'.
they had a blast and i had fun right along with them.
we ended the party with a soccer piñata which fell down after two whacks from scout. this one wasn't designed by mr. gerber, so it wasn't structurally sound.
i had my doubts when i bought it at party city, but was hopeful. the kids got over their disappointment quickly when c climbed up to the zipline platform and
threw the candy out all over the pool deck. the boys swarmed like bees to collect it all in their treat bags. my tween said he was "too old" for the piñata
and made himself useful by capturing it all on c's phone.
we arranged for scout's bestie to stay for a while after all the other kids left so that scout could open his birthday gift and the boys could say goodbye to each other.
his buddy was leaving for spain in 2 days. scout received a beautiful engraved frame that said 'best friends forever' and held a photo of them.
watching the look on their faces as the gift was given and received was priceless. i almost cried tears.
his buddy was leaving for spain in 2 days. scout received a beautiful engraved frame that said 'best friends forever' and held a photo of them.
watching the look on their faces as the gift was given and received was priceless. i almost cried tears.
Saturday, July 16, 2016
mr mraz makes me happy
i had a sweet surprise this past summer right here in my backyard.
i learned jason mraz would be performing at café gratitude, a vegan
restaurant downtown that he co-owns.
he was sneaky and didn't advertise this little private concert, which
made it all the sweeter for me. my dates for the afternoon were finn
and scout {who were reluctant to join at first} as we arrived an hour
before he came on stage. i had warned them so they were prepared
with books. they read while i chatted with some girlfriends who are
almost as big of fans as i am.
while waiting, i made decided to purchase smoothies for from the cafe
and just as i was walking in, mr mraz was walking out with a take-out
container with his lunch. i very casually said "hi Jason", and he said hi.
scout was at my side and said was that really him mom? i think he was
a little starstruck.
i watched Jason to make sure he had a chance to eat his lunch and chat
with his buddies and then headed over to meet him as i saw others
eyeing him with the same idea. when we walked up, he was so polite
and grinned when i told him i was one of his biggest fans. i explained
that i saw him years open for lisa loeb at a club in pacific beach, years ago.
he grinned and said "wow, you've been following me a long time and
thanked me. he introduced himself to scout, posed for a photo with us
and a few minutes later he was on the sidewalk outside his café singing
his heart out.
it was a perfect summer day with mr. mraz!
i learned jason mraz would be performing at café gratitude, a vegan
restaurant downtown that he co-owns.
he was sneaky and didn't advertise this little private concert, which
made it all the sweeter for me. my dates for the afternoon were finn
and scout {who were reluctant to join at first} as we arrived an hour
before he came on stage. i had warned them so they were prepared
with books. they read while i chatted with some girlfriends who are
almost as big of fans as i am.
while waiting, i made decided to purchase smoothies for from the cafe
and just as i was walking in, mr mraz was walking out with a take-out
container with his lunch. i very casually said "hi Jason", and he said hi.
scout was at my side and said was that really him mom? i think he was
a little starstruck.
i watched Jason to make sure he had a chance to eat his lunch and chat
with his buddies and then headed over to meet him as i saw others
eyeing him with the same idea. when we walked up, he was so polite
and grinned when i told him i was one of his biggest fans. i explained
that i saw him years open for lisa loeb at a club in pacific beach, years ago.
he grinned and said "wow, you've been following me a long time and
thanked me. he introduced himself to scout, posed for a photo with us
and a few minutes later he was on the sidewalk outside his café singing
his heart out.
it was a perfect summer day with mr. mraz!
Friday, July 15, 2016
life reimagined
one of the wonderful woman in my book group came to june's
meeting sharing that she was struggling with 'middle-age'.
now this woman is newly 41....the youngest in the group, so we looked at her
with surprise and honestly, some of us chuckled a bit.
she said she was serious, then reminded us that because we were all likely
to live to be 80, we were all technically 'middle aged'.
wow, i had never even given thought to that.
one woman said she preferred to call the stage of life we are in the 'middle place'
and most agreed that was a better term. i announced that i plan on living to 100,
so i haven't hit middle age OR the middle place yet. this won't happen until i'm 50
and i've got a few more years yet. *grin*
next, she whipped out this book with a yellow festive jacket:
i highly recommend to anyone approaching 40, and for everyone 40 and beyond.
1. find new passions - trying new things in life helps us stay engaged. it could be music, a new language, a new sport, or a new organization/club. learning something new keeps our brains active. all the research shows that when we are engaged in something new, we are happier....even if we are completely frustrated or struggling with this difficult thing. humans are wired for learning and for challenges. we are happiest when we are lifelong learners.
meeting sharing that she was struggling with 'middle-age'.
now this woman is newly 41....the youngest in the group, so we looked at her
with surprise and honestly, some of us chuckled a bit.
she said she was serious, then reminded us that because we were all likely
to live to be 80, we were all technically 'middle aged'.
wow, i had never even given thought to that.
one woman said she preferred to call the stage of life we are in the 'middle place'
and most agreed that was a better term. i announced that i plan on living to 100,
so i haven't hit middle age OR the middle place yet. this won't happen until i'm 50
and i've got a few more years yet. *grin*
next, she whipped out this book with a yellow festive jacket:
she explained she heard the author, barbara bradley hagerty, on npr discussing her book.
apparently, when bbh she was in her mid 50s, she began struggling with this particular phase
in her life. she felt like she was on a treadmill, grew a bit depressed and wondered why. she had friends who were not just surviving middle age, but actually 'thriving'. many were older and seemed happier than they'd ever been. she wanted to know what their secret is...what all these people had in common. her book is the culmination of years of research of what she learned and how it helped her appreciate her life more and to look forward to the years ahead.
apparently, when bbh she was in her mid 50s, she began struggling with this particular phase
in her life. she felt like she was on a treadmill, grew a bit depressed and wondered why. she had friends who were not just surviving middle age, but actually 'thriving'. many were older and seemed happier than they'd ever been. she wanted to know what their secret is...what all these people had in common. her book is the culmination of years of research of what she learned and how it helped her appreciate her life more and to look forward to the years ahead.
our friend was so excited about this book and was going to read it regardless if we chose it or not, so we all decided to read our first non-fiction book as a group. we all devoured it and when we met over dinner in july, we literally shut the restaurant down. we talked about this book and other things surrounding it for literally 4 hours! it was chock full of research {i means tons of it}, yet it was a very easy read. barbara shared very personal and intimate parts of her life, which made her vulnerable and relatable. i thoroughly enjoyed it this book and have recommended it to others who are currently reading it.
i highly recommend to anyone approaching 40, and for everyone 40 and beyond.
if you simply don't have time to read, i'll share the highlights. these are the key factors for thriving in middle age and beyond:
1. find new passions - trying new things in life helps us stay engaged. it could be music, a new language, a new sport, or a new organization/club. learning something new keeps our brains active. all the research shows that when we are engaged in something new, we are happier....even if we are completely frustrated or struggling with this difficult thing. humans are wired for learning and for challenges. we are happiest when we are lifelong learners.
2. find meaning in work/career rather than success - research shows that somewhere around middle age, we realize we are either at the top of the hill, or on our way down. humans everywhere begin to feel an urge to contribute to the world....to genuinely strive to find a meaningful way to give back. some make career changes mid-life or beyond. others are more subtle. they might start a non-profit, volunteer their time, knowledge or resources of any kind to causes they care about.
3. bring novelty into your marriage/relationship - for those who have been married for many years {like me}, this one is really interesting and important. just like finding new passions for personal growth, in order to keep long-tem relationships thriving, research shows that couples must seek out something new together - hobbies, friendships, travel, etc. the author shared a fun story about how her husband dreamed of renting an rv and travelling to some of the US national parks in it. she was never interested but after seeing all the research surrounding this topic during the writing of this book, she she realized this could be a way to bring a little zest/novelty into their relationship of 15+ years. they went and it did exactly that. they had one of the best vacations of their life and grew together as a couple. {oh how i loved her story. my other half wants to do this very thing}
3. bring novelty into your marriage/relationship - for those who have been married for many years {like me}, this one is really interesting and important. just like finding new passions for personal growth, in order to keep long-tem relationships thriving, research shows that couples must seek out something new together - hobbies, friendships, travel, etc. the author shared a fun story about how her husband dreamed of renting an rv and travelling to some of the US national parks in it. she was never interested but after seeing all the research surrounding this topic during the writing of this book, she she realized this could be a way to bring a little zest/novelty into their relationship of 15+ years. they went and it did exactly that. they had one of the best vacations of their life and grew together as a couple. {oh how i loved her story. my other half wants to do this very thing}
4. engage in life - every bit of evidence says to be engaged in life. it was a huge theme throughout the book. there's no question that we live longer, are healthier and happier when we are true participants in life. sitting in front of the tv, the computer or being alone isn't healthy. people are meant to be with people and to be engaged. what i found truly fascinating in this section of the book was that medical science shows that people who engage in life actually have the ability to change their genetic makeup to a point. not 100% completely - but to a point...and to a point that actually matters. our minds are so connected to our bodies and SO powerful. happy people can actually ward off all kinds of diseases. it's fascinating stuff.
so there you have it....the cliff notes from life reimagined. i was just thinking how this book would make a perfect gift for someone turning 40 or any age after. it wasn't depressing at all, it actually made me really excited about what's ahead.
so there you have it....the cliff notes from life reimagined. i was just thinking how this book would make a perfect gift for someone turning 40 or any age after. it wasn't depressing at all, it actually made me really excited about what's ahead.
Saturday, July 9, 2016
the best year of my life
"i wish i could stay 8 forever. it's been the best year of my life".
- scout benjamin
as i sat on the edge of scout's bed the night before his birthday,
he looked up at me with genuine concern and said this. he explained
how great his 8th year had been. he loved 3rd grade, has a best friend,
and was playing on a good competitive soccer team.
he was worried that year 9 wouldn't quite be as good.
he explained that his best friend was moving to spain, he was playing for
a new competitive soccer team, and he was getting a new teacher in 4th grade.
as an adult who's been in the world for 40 plus years, it would have been
so easy to respond "you'll be just fine scout", but i know these things make up
his entire world. it's hard for him to have perspective when he only has a few
years to draw upon.
i took some time to tell him that i understood how scary it must be for him with
his very best friend moving, not having mrs. manguil around, the teacher he had
for the past 2 years, and starting a new soccer club. i also took some time to tell
him this could be another fantastic year, maybe even better. we can never see the
future, but we can chose to be positive about what lies ahead. i chose to be positive.
he gave me a big hug and said "i chose to be positive too". with glossy eyes, i kissed
my little goodnight and wished him sweet dreams.
as i crawled into bed later that night, i shared our conversation with christopher,
and told him just how much i adore our almost nine year old. as a mother, i feel
like i can't possibly love my children anymore than i already do. then, there is a
conversation or interaction with them, and i totally do.
a mother's heart seems to continue growing as her children grow.
- scout benjamin
as i sat on the edge of scout's bed the night before his birthday,
he looked up at me with genuine concern and said this. he explained
how great his 8th year had been. he loved 3rd grade, has a best friend,
and was playing on a good competitive soccer team.
he was worried that year 9 wouldn't quite be as good.
he explained that his best friend was moving to spain, he was playing for
a new competitive soccer team, and he was getting a new teacher in 4th grade.
as an adult who's been in the world for 40 plus years, it would have been
so easy to respond "you'll be just fine scout", but i know these things make up
his entire world. it's hard for him to have perspective when he only has a few
years to draw upon.
i took some time to tell him that i understood how scary it must be for him with
his very best friend moving, not having mrs. manguil around, the teacher he had
for the past 2 years, and starting a new soccer club. i also took some time to tell
him this could be another fantastic year, maybe even better. we can never see the
future, but we can chose to be positive about what lies ahead. i chose to be positive.
he gave me a big hug and said "i chose to be positive too". with glossy eyes, i kissed
my little goodnight and wished him sweet dreams.
as i crawled into bed later that night, i shared our conversation with christopher,
and told him just how much i adore our almost nine year old. as a mother, i feel
like i can't possibly love my children anymore than i already do. then, there is a
conversation or interaction with them, and i totally do.
a mother's heart seems to continue growing as her children grow.
Wednesday, July 6, 2016
scout benjamin turns 9
i wish i could stay a child forever.
- scout benjamin gerber
today our sweet scout benjamin is 9 years old! words can't begin to express how much joy this kid brings to our family.
i feel so lucky i get to watch him grow....to get a front seat to his childhood.
Scout, here are 9 things i want to remember about you at this age:
- scout benjamin gerber
today our sweet scout benjamin is 9 years old! words can't begin to express how much joy this kid brings to our family.
i feel so lucky i get to watch him grow....to get a front seat to his childhood.
Scout, here are 9 things i want to remember about you at this age:
- You are crazy about futbol! (soccer to us Americans)
You love to play and have become quite the player over the last year. you want to play every day and though we live 5 minutes from a big grassy field and we visit it often AND your dad built a big soccer net for you to practice shooting in the backyard, you complain that our home has no grass. You'd love a field of your own.
If you can help it, you rarely miss watching your favorite German player and team, Thomas Muller of Bayern Munchen. you are crazy about them! you have both Muller's home and away jerseys and wear them on accordingly on game day. It’s quite adorable. your nickname is ‘Mini Muller’ and your best friend's nickname is ‘Lil Messi’. you presented him with matching leather bracelets with your nicknames stamped on the inside for his recent birthday. when he moves to Spain in a few weeks, you two will have these tokens of friendship to remind you of your special friendship and your love of soccer of course! - You love math
You are a serious math kid! on any given morning after you have eaten breakfast, brushed your teeth and have gotten dressed for the day, I will find you on the computer solving math problems on Kahn Academy. you do this for FUN {i can hardly believe you are my child in this way}. you are currently 96% through the 5th grade math curriculum and are hoping to be done this weekend. you enjoy math SO much you announced you changed your mind about being a writer and will probably be a mathematician instead. {finn was quick to tell you that was a better career choice but not to worry, you can still write books in your free time}. - You love reading and being read to
Long ago, you discovered that reading is magical…whether it’s reading alone or being read to out loud. stories makes you happy, make you think, give you a larger vocabulary, encourage you to dream, entertain and can teach. reading has also helped you build friendships as it gives you topics to discuss. readers love other readers, and you've bonded with many adults and children over your love of books.as your mother, i have been struggling helping you find appropriate reading material these days. you were assessed as a level ‘V’ reader this past year in 3rd grade {this is on an A-Z scale} which means you can read and comprehend almost anything. you are 9 years old, and despite your skill level, not everything is appropriate.though you would love to read every YA (young adult) book, i've been steering your towards tween books instead for now. I will allow some YA and adult books after some research on my end. recently completed the Harry Potter series for your 3rd time and you are currently reading the Warriors series which your buddies Spencer recommended. you are really enjoying it. no matter what age you are, i hope your love of reading lasts your entire life. - You are fierce in your feelings
No matter what you are feeling – happiness, sadness, anger, elation, etc, you feel them all deeply. Sad books or movies will bring you to tears, and a sleepover with elicit a squeal of delight. Your father and I recognized you wore your emotions on your sleeve early on, but it's only been recently that I realized just how much your feelings factor into who you are. As a way for me to better understand your analytical brother more, I found a personality quiz online and had the entire family take it. We learned so much about ourselves and each other. While Finn scored high on logic, you scored high on intuition and highest on feelings - a 99%!!! This explains so much. We love your big heart Scout, and are doing our best to be sensitive to you, help you manage your strong feelings appropriately, and to love you well. - You sleep with your lovies every night.
You call your stuffed animals ‘lovies’, a term you probably picked up from Finn and me as a toddler. You only have 4, but your BlaBla dog ‘Patch’ that you received for your 1st birthday is your favorite and is well loved. SO loved that this once 8" thick and fluffy sock dog is faded and flat, probably 1/2 " thick now. He desperately needs stuffing and some stitching or put away in your keepsake box, but you won't have that. You have stated that you aren't ready for that yet and will let us know when that day comes. Since you don't take him anywhere {even to sleepovers}, I figured it's ok. Your beloved 'Patch' deserves a dedicated post about him. - You love challenges of ANY kind.
From early on, you went looking for them. You climbed an 8 foot ladder at 18 months...quite easily too. After trying to prevent your endless attempts to climb the loft ladder in the guest cottage years back, we decided to just let you go. We simply ‘spotted’ you from below and put a big bean bag on the floor below you in case you fell. you never did. You rode a two-wheeled bike the week you turned 3 and were reading well before you were in Kindergarten. This is who you are Scout…fearless and charging through life. Because you were a daredevil, I used to worry about your physical safety when you were younger. Even up until age 5/6, I worried about you on your bike. These days, I rarely worry about you. You push yourself physically but seem to know your limits. Still you love and ask for challenges. While I encourage you to write stories, read different kinds of books, or challenge yourself with a new piano piece, your father is much better at coming up with physical challenges for you.Junior Lifeguards begins in a few weeks and you are already in 'Training'. All the soccer you play apparently isn't enough for you. Similar to your ‘Jedi’ training from last Summer, this year it’s been revised to ‘Clone’ training {you still like Star Wars}. Christopher put together a fitness regimen for you, and you are thoroughly enjoying completing the challenges. this too deserves a post all of its own. I almost forgot about a recent challenge which you succeeded in. you won a roller-skating race for your age division. you have been racing since you were about 6 years old and have never won, but you never gave up. The day finally came when you finally WON! Auntie Leslie, your cousins, brother and mom were there to witness it and cheer for you at the top of our lungs. what a day!! your grin was off the charts and i think mine was too. {i remembered to record it too}
- You love sweets, especially chocolate!
You have no preference for milk or dark…you love them both.You prefer ice cream over cake/pie and are fully satisfied when you can put sprinkles on top. Oh how you love sprinkles! As much as you love sweets, one would think you would devour your Halloween, Christmas or Easter candy within a week or two. This is not the case. You have such willpower and you ask that we put your candy in a ziplock bag and you savor it for months - for months and months. you just finished the last of your Christmas stocking candy a week {a milk chocolate tin soldier}, and you are still working on your Easter candy. I question if it's even good anymore, but after opening up and trying it, you assured me it was absolutely fine. *grin* - You hate to lose Auntie Jen once said she thinks you hate losing even more than winning. I thought about this, and feel maybe she is right. Three (3) years ago, you would play a soccer game and lose, run through the parent tunnel with a smile on your face and happily grab your after game snack bag. Sports have completely changed for you. When you turned 7, you become highly competitive and winning was most important. You aren't even interested in the after game snacks unless you win. You keep track of every goal and game you played and will never ever forget the year you played on a rec soccer team and didn't win a single game {it was the worse 3 months of your life you said}. You no longer bawl when you lose, but you still get frustrated and shed quiet tears . You are working hard on controlling your emotions and are making great strides. Your dad and I are proud of you and will continue guiding your emotions after losses and reminding you there are valuable lessons in losing.
- You are a kind son, brother and friend. I find so many beautiful qualities in you Scout, but this is the one thing that makes me most proud. You care about people and are so loyal to those you love….defending them wholeheartedly, even your brother {who isn't always so kind to you}. When there is a situation that makes you uncomfortable or you disagree with, you do a great job discussing it with the person to get past it. You love Finn deeply and I've heard you reassure him when he was struggling with something. For so many years, it was Finn reassuring you, and know you offer this too. You are learning that friendships require energy and effort and that the most beautiful friendships are about caring and kindness. Just this morning, your Auntie Jen called to wish you a happy birthday. You recognized her kindness and told me you want to call her on her birthday. Then you asked if I knew what day that was so we could put in our ‘family calendar’. {i won't let you forget oct 3rd}Oh how I love your goodness Scout!
This is you Scout Benjamin Gerber at 9 years old - a kind, smart and athletic boy who loves life and lives it well. you teach me so much more than i teach you {i bet you didn't know this, but you do}. i am grateful and oh so blessed to know you.
~Your stats at age 9:
You are 53" tall and weigh 55 lbs
{your physical is in 2 weeks and I will revise if i'm off}
Tuesday, June 28, 2016
celebrations and soccer
scout's bestie turned 9 just a few weeks before his birthday.
to celebrate, his friend wanted to see a professional soccer game.
luckily, chile and mexico were playing at our local stadium.
we made an exception for scout to have a sleepover on a school night,
and scout spent an exciting wednesday night cheering on his favorite
mexican player, javier hernandez, but better known as chicharito
{which means 'little pea' in Spanish}.
of the group that went, scout and spencer's dad, were the only two
rooting for mexico and there were happy to leave the stadium with a 1-0 win.
mr. morton texted me these photos to help scout remember his first
EVER professional soccer game. what a special night it was!
{he's hoping he can go to one in barcelona next year...me too}
to celebrate, his friend wanted to see a professional soccer game.
luckily, chile and mexico were playing at our local stadium.
we made an exception for scout to have a sleepover on a school night,
and scout spent an exciting wednesday night cheering on his favorite
mexican player, javier hernandez, but better known as chicharito
{which means 'little pea' in Spanish}.
of the group that went, scout and spencer's dad, were the only two
rooting for mexico and there were happy to leave the stadium with a 1-0 win.
mr. morton texted me these photos to help scout remember his first
EVER professional soccer game. what a special night it was!
{he's hoping he can go to one in barcelona next year...me too}
Thursday, June 23, 2016
best buddies: scout and spencer
my best friend is the one who brings out the best in me.
~ henry ford
i am sure i have mentioned the special friendship between these
two boys before in one of my previous posts.
scout and spencer met in first grade and have been inseparable ever since.
they were fortunate to have been in the same 2nd and 3rd grade class as his class 'looped'
{the teacher and class matriculated together}.
i can't begin to describe how grateful i am that this sweet boy came into scout's life.
all i can say is that they are kindred spirits these two. they share so many things in
common: each has an older brother, are small, play the piano, are the top in their grade,
voracious readers, love math, are mature for their age and are passionate about soccer.
more than any of these shared interests, what's most special about their friendship
is that they are truly good for each other. they encourage each other
to make good choices and they genuinely care about each other.
in the last conference we had with scout's teacher, she told c and I {as well as spencer's parents}
that she truly believes their friendship will last through adulthood. what an usual and
beautiful thing to say about two 8 year old boys. time will tell, and my hope is she is right.
that this special friendship will endure.
i'm posting about this friendship today because a BIG event will be taking place next
month that is causing these two boys to be apart for one year. spencer's family will be
moving to spain, barcelona specifically. living abroad with her family is something
spencer's mother has been dreaming of doing, so she figured a way to make it happen!
i should note, she's doing it with a family of five too {her husband and 3 children}.
they are renting out their home, the mother is taking a year off from teaching, and her husband
will continue to run his business from abroad.
though scout and our family has known about this move for no less than 6 months,
it's difficult for scout to talk about even now. he gets tears in his eyes and tell me
how much he will miss his friend anytime the subject comes up. my heart breaks for
him. i acknowledge his sadness and pain, and also remind him that the two can email
each other every day, skype often, send paper letters and possibly even visit.
the sweet morton family extended an invitation to visit next spring.
they'd like for scout to stay an additional week and fly back with spencer's dad as he needs
to come back to the states to check in with his office. i would LOVE to make this happen
and let scout know that if mom can manage to save enough money for even the two of us,
we will go and have a huge adventure in Europe.
{this trip is definitely one way to motivate me to spend less and save}
i will be reporting back through the next several months.
~ henry ford
i am sure i have mentioned the special friendship between these
two boys before in one of my previous posts.
scout and spencer met in first grade and have been inseparable ever since.
they were fortunate to have been in the same 2nd and 3rd grade class as his class 'looped'
{the teacher and class matriculated together}.
i can't begin to describe how grateful i am that this sweet boy came into scout's life.
all i can say is that they are kindred spirits these two. they share so many things in
common: each has an older brother, are small, play the piano, are the top in their grade,
voracious readers, love math, are mature for their age and are passionate about soccer.
more than any of these shared interests, what's most special about their friendship
is that they are truly good for each other. they encourage each other
to make good choices and they genuinely care about each other.
in the last conference we had with scout's teacher, she told c and I {as well as spencer's parents}
that she truly believes their friendship will last through adulthood. what an usual and
beautiful thing to say about two 8 year old boys. time will tell, and my hope is she is right.
that this special friendship will endure.
i'm posting about this friendship today because a BIG event will be taking place next
month that is causing these two boys to be apart for one year. spencer's family will be
moving to spain, barcelona specifically. living abroad with her family is something
spencer's mother has been dreaming of doing, so she figured a way to make it happen!
i should note, she's doing it with a family of five too {her husband and 3 children}.
they are renting out their home, the mother is taking a year off from teaching, and her husband
will continue to run his business from abroad.
though scout and our family has known about this move for no less than 6 months,
it's difficult for scout to talk about even now. he gets tears in his eyes and tell me
how much he will miss his friend anytime the subject comes up. my heart breaks for
him. i acknowledge his sadness and pain, and also remind him that the two can email
each other every day, skype often, send paper letters and possibly even visit.
the sweet morton family extended an invitation to visit next spring.
they'd like for scout to stay an additional week and fly back with spencer's dad as he needs
to come back to the states to check in with his office. i would LOVE to make this happen
and let scout know that if mom can manage to save enough money for even the two of us,
we will go and have a huge adventure in Europe.
{this trip is definitely one way to motivate me to spend less and save}
i will be reporting back through the next several months.
Monday, June 20, 2016
father's day 2016: part 2
the boys and spent a long weekend in sunny and hot arizona
over father's day weekend! c needed to be there to check on one of
his projects that had just finished construction, and since the hotel was covered
by his company, and we have lovely family members in phoenix and were long
over due in seeing them, the boys and i tagged along with c.
it was HOT...118 degrees to be exact!
still we had a wonderful visit...some much needed downtime for me.
we stayed at the hilton squaw peak hotel, our regular place....because it caters to families
so well. we've been coming here with the boys since they were toddlers and they know the
property well....very well and we let them run around on their own now they're older.
to beat the heat, we went to the pool early to find the chairs with the best shade,
then we'd play a competitive game of miniature golf {c and s were the reigning champs}.
afterwards, we'd float along the lazy river, staying together as a family by linking our feet
around each other. i remember looking at my boys from underneath my giant floppy hat
thinking there was no where else i'd rather be. we were all so relaxed and happy.
after our floating morning, we swam in the pool and waterfalls and the boys went down the
water slides for hours....until they complained of hunger. we drank smoothies and had a snack,
and were back in our air-conditioned room by noon.
c went to his jobsite and the boys and i snuggled into the comfy king-sized bed and read
peter pan. scout thoroughly enjoyed it, but finn found it difficult to relate to. perhaps it's for
children who aren't tweens, then again, this is finn oliver. the thought of living in
neverland forever, just having fun and never growing up sounded awful to him. "who would
want that" he asked? {i think scout however, would love to be a little boy forever}.
on father's day, we met grammy gerber {GG}, heidi and her sweet family. oh how i've missed
them! we got to see their beautiful home, and spend some time with anoka, who is almost 2.
what a beautiful child she is! she is deliberate with what she does and says and i was amazed
how clearly she spoke. i could understand every word she said.
{i know 3+ year olds that aren't as clear.}
i was in awe watching heidi and gregor in the role of parents....they are so good at it.
they introduced us to one of their favorite casual restaurants, hopdoddys which offered
a dozen different types of burgers AND a variety of amazing fries. it was delicious!
we ate, drank, and caught up with each other. our time together was much too short.
we parted with me wanting more of them. oh how i love and miss my phoenix family.
the boys and i look forward to going back to AZ to meet duke sometime this fall.
{it will be much more tolerable}. *wink*
over father's day weekend! c needed to be there to check on one of
his projects that had just finished construction, and since the hotel was covered
by his company, and we have lovely family members in phoenix and were long
over due in seeing them, the boys and i tagged along with c.
it was HOT...118 degrees to be exact!
still we had a wonderful visit...some much needed downtime for me.
we stayed at the hilton squaw peak hotel, our regular place....because it caters to families
so well. we've been coming here with the boys since they were toddlers and they know the
property well....very well and we let them run around on their own now they're older.
to beat the heat, we went to the pool early to find the chairs with the best shade,
then we'd play a competitive game of miniature golf {c and s were the reigning champs}.
afterwards, we'd float along the lazy river, staying together as a family by linking our feet
around each other. i remember looking at my boys from underneath my giant floppy hat
thinking there was no where else i'd rather be. we were all so relaxed and happy.
after our floating morning, we swam in the pool and waterfalls and the boys went down the
water slides for hours....until they complained of hunger. we drank smoothies and had a snack,
and were back in our air-conditioned room by noon.
c went to his jobsite and the boys and i snuggled into the comfy king-sized bed and read
peter pan. scout thoroughly enjoyed it, but finn found it difficult to relate to. perhaps it's for
children who aren't tweens, then again, this is finn oliver. the thought of living in
neverland forever, just having fun and never growing up sounded awful to him. "who would
want that" he asked? {i think scout however, would love to be a little boy forever}.
on father's day, we met grammy gerber {GG}, heidi and her sweet family. oh how i've missed
them! we got to see their beautiful home, and spend some time with anoka, who is almost 2.
what a beautiful child she is! she is deliberate with what she does and says and i was amazed
how clearly she spoke. i could understand every word she said.
{i know 3+ year olds that aren't as clear.}
i was in awe watching heidi and gregor in the role of parents....they are so good at it.
they introduced us to one of their favorite casual restaurants, hopdoddys which offered
a dozen different types of burgers AND a variety of amazing fries. it was delicious!
we ate, drank, and caught up with each other. our time together was much too short.
we parted with me wanting more of them. oh how i love and miss my phoenix family.
the boys and i look forward to going back to AZ to meet duke sometime this fall.
{it will be much more tolerable}. *wink*
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About Me
- Angela
- San Diego, CA, United States
- I'm a Southern California mom to 2 boys and a wifey to my long-time love. I work full-time and life is a bit crazy, but I strive to remember to take time to enjoy the little things, because in the end, it's those things that will matter most.