you are all just mean".
- scout benjamin, age 9
these were just a few words spoken by our youngest
two weeks ago after one of his soccer games. his words sounded more like
those from a tween or teenager, but they were from our newly nine year old
who was extremely upset at a decision that was made when he was showing poor
sportsmanship. after many many discussions on this topic, and 2 warnings to get himself
together, i told scout he would not be allowed to play in his next soccer game.
tears flowed and harsh remarks came. he told us how unfair he was being treated,
how no one understands him and shifted blame to the child who tripped him on
the field and to the referee who didn't give the child a yellow card. *sigh*
after we arrived home and scout took a relaxing bath, c reminded me that since
the call was made, we {I}needed to stick to our guns. c doesn't have any problems with this,
he's consistent and extremely self disciplined. i do pretty well, especially with bed times
and other rules, but this was new and i think he could sense how bad i felt for scout.
it was a difficult decision, and whether it would work or not, i had no idea, but i stuck to
my guns. over the next few days, he would sweetly ask, with those big blue puppy dog eyes
and long dark eyelashes of his, if he we really weren't going to let him play. i said yes.
midweek, he eventually stopped asking.
on the day of the game, he asked if he could dress in his uniform and
sit on the bench with this team because "that's what professionals players do". we said
sure. it was painful for him and for me watching him sit there, knowing how much he
wanted to be on the field, but it was a teaching moment.
a very thoughtful coworker of mine, who isn't a parent yet, heard my story in the lunchroom,
and shared a video that she came across. she said it made her think of my recent situation.
i absolutely loved the video....so much that i shared with almost every mom friend i have in
my contacts {some had already seen on facebook}.
the mother is sharing things every parent knows intuitively, but may {or may not} struggle with.
she zeros in on the one very important aspect of parenting - that it's HARD, really hard and there
will be lots of times our kids don't like us, and that's ok. our job isn't to be liked. our job is to
raise human beings who will be productive members of society.
it's honest, raw, and funny and she says it all while eating from a carton of ice cream
{and making a wine milkshake}.
