meeting sharing that she was struggling with 'middle-age'.
now this woman is newly 41....the youngest in the group, so we looked at her
with surprise and honestly, some of us chuckled a bit.
she said she was serious, then reminded us that because we were all likely
to live to be 80, we were all technically 'middle aged'.
wow, i had never even given thought to that.
one woman said she preferred to call the stage of life we are in the 'middle place'
and most agreed that was a better term. i announced that i plan on living to 100,
so i haven't hit middle age OR the middle place yet. this won't happen until i'm 50
and i've got a few more years yet. *grin*
next, she whipped out this book with a yellow festive jacket:
she explained she heard the author, barbara bradley hagerty, on npr discussing her book.
apparently, when bbh she was in her mid 50s, she began struggling with this particular phase
in her life. she felt like she was on a treadmill, grew a bit depressed and wondered why. she had friends who were not just surviving middle age, but actually 'thriving'. many were older and seemed happier than they'd ever been. she wanted to know what their secret is...what all these people had in common. her book is the culmination of years of research of what she learned and how it helped her appreciate her life more and to look forward to the years ahead.
apparently, when bbh she was in her mid 50s, she began struggling with this particular phase
in her life. she felt like she was on a treadmill, grew a bit depressed and wondered why. she had friends who were not just surviving middle age, but actually 'thriving'. many were older and seemed happier than they'd ever been. she wanted to know what their secret is...what all these people had in common. her book is the culmination of years of research of what she learned and how it helped her appreciate her life more and to look forward to the years ahead.
our friend was so excited about this book and was going to read it regardless if we chose it or not, so we all decided to read our first non-fiction book as a group. we all devoured it and when we met over dinner in july, we literally shut the restaurant down. we talked about this book and other things surrounding it for literally 4 hours! it was chock full of research {i means tons of it}, yet it was a very easy read. barbara shared very personal and intimate parts of her life, which made her vulnerable and relatable. i thoroughly enjoyed it this book and have recommended it to others who are currently reading it.
i highly recommend to anyone approaching 40, and for everyone 40 and beyond.
if you simply don't have time to read, i'll share the highlights. these are the key factors for thriving in middle age and beyond:
1. find new passions - trying new things in life helps us stay engaged. it could be music, a new language, a new sport, or a new organization/club. learning something new keeps our brains active. all the research shows that when we are engaged in something new, we are happier....even if we are completely frustrated or struggling with this difficult thing. humans are wired for learning and for challenges. we are happiest when we are lifelong learners.
2. find meaning in work/career rather than success - research shows that somewhere around middle age, we realize we are either at the top of the hill, or on our way down. humans everywhere begin to feel an urge to contribute to the world....to genuinely strive to find a meaningful way to give back. some make career changes mid-life or beyond. others are more subtle. they might start a non-profit, volunteer their time, knowledge or resources of any kind to causes they care about.
3. bring novelty into your marriage/relationship - for those who have been married for many years {like me}, this one is really interesting and important. just like finding new passions for personal growth, in order to keep long-tem relationships thriving, research shows that couples must seek out something new together - hobbies, friendships, travel, etc. the author shared a fun story about how her husband dreamed of renting an rv and travelling to some of the US national parks in it. she was never interested but after seeing all the research surrounding this topic during the writing of this book, she she realized this could be a way to bring a little zest/novelty into their relationship of 15+ years. they went and it did exactly that. they had one of the best vacations of their life and grew together as a couple. {oh how i loved her story. my other half wants to do this very thing}
3. bring novelty into your marriage/relationship - for those who have been married for many years {like me}, this one is really interesting and important. just like finding new passions for personal growth, in order to keep long-tem relationships thriving, research shows that couples must seek out something new together - hobbies, friendships, travel, etc. the author shared a fun story about how her husband dreamed of renting an rv and travelling to some of the US national parks in it. she was never interested but after seeing all the research surrounding this topic during the writing of this book, she she realized this could be a way to bring a little zest/novelty into their relationship of 15+ years. they went and it did exactly that. they had one of the best vacations of their life and grew together as a couple. {oh how i loved her story. my other half wants to do this very thing}
4. engage in life - every bit of evidence says to be engaged in life. it was a huge theme throughout the book. there's no question that we live longer, are healthier and happier when we are true participants in life. sitting in front of the tv, the computer or being alone isn't healthy. people are meant to be with people and to be engaged. what i found truly fascinating in this section of the book was that medical science shows that people who engage in life actually have the ability to change their genetic makeup to a point. not 100% completely - but to a point...and to a point that actually matters. our minds are so connected to our bodies and SO powerful. happy people can actually ward off all kinds of diseases. it's fascinating stuff.
so there you have it....the cliff notes from life reimagined. i was just thinking how this book would make a perfect gift for someone turning 40 or any age after. it wasn't depressing at all, it actually made me really excited about what's ahead.
so there you have it....the cliff notes from life reimagined. i was just thinking how this book would make a perfect gift for someone turning 40 or any age after. it wasn't depressing at all, it actually made me really excited about what's ahead.
