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the musings of a san diego mom who loves her city, her life and her boys.

Tuesday, July 10, 2018

newly eleven - scout benjamin gerber



we have a birthday boy in the house today! Scout is ELEVEN and my mama heart couldn’t be happier to celebrate our youngest. I can’t possibly list all the reasons why I love this kid, but I will list a few. scout loves life and this spills over to everything he does. he inspires me with his love for learning, how he relishes reading and being read aloud to, how he pushes himself academically and physically and how he shows kindness and compassion for people and animals. it was no surprise that our new fur baby, bonita, bonded best with Scoutie. last, he shows us all to how to love big, forgive, and that it’s ok to wear our hearts on our sleeve. Our family is thanking heaven for our sweet eleven year old and all that he is.

scout - in keeping with tradition, here are 11 things i want to remember about you at this age:

1. You have a heart of gold
you have a big heart that truly feels all the feelings. you've always felt things deeply which makes you more attuned to those around you. this benefits everyone who comes in contact with you because this generation more than ever, needs examples of people who aren't afraid to be 'seen'. boys often learn to hide their vulnerabilities so they aren't seen as being weak. my hope is you understand that showing vulnerability is a sign of strength. it's allowing yourself to be seen and heard and this is a beautiful thing. the best relationships in life consist of this so keep that big heart of yours scout. it's one of your best characteristics. 

2. You enjoy being a child
your brother can hardly wait to be an adult, but you enjoy every minute of childhood and almost mourn growing older. leading up to your birthday every year, you tell me how great it has been being the age you are. you tell me why it's been the best year of your life so far, and that you wish you didn't have to grow older. your words tug gently at my heartstrings because as a mother, it's bittersweet for me to watch you blow out more and more candles every year. i've loved EVERY age you've been and i love your age now, but as the years pass, i wish i could hit a pause button for both of us. unfortunately, that's not the way the world works, so remember, you will only be 11 once, so make this your best year yet!

3.  You might be the most ticklish kid alive
our family has been torturing you with tickling ever since you were a preschooler.  because you are so sensitive to it and have the best laugh when we tickle you, we can't help ourselves!  your entire 5th grade class knows how ticklish you are and they too have enjoyed hearing you laugh, scream and squeal during recess when they 'torture you with tickling'. you even told me you can tickle yourself.  is this even possible? 

4. You still relish reading and the written word
i read once that reading is the easiest way to open a child's world and scout, your world is wide and vast because of the all reading that you do. c and i are far from being perfect parents, but reading is one thing we are proud you boys both enjoy. we've encouraged it your entire lives and it's benefited you in a million different ways. sure your vocabulary and spelling are off the charts which has everything to do with your love of reading, but there are more subtle things too.  reading has given you the ability to discuss many different topics with a variety of people of all ages reading has helped you to focus which helps you in everything from school to playing sports. last, it's given us a way to deeply connect as son and mother because i too share your passion for books. i enjoy hearing about all the stories you read and discussing stories we read aloud together almost every night. we just finished reading wonderstruck by brian selzniak and were mesmerized by this slow unfolding drama of a book. a movie has also been made off it too. {of course the book is 10x better}. someday i'll dedicate to post to your favorite books.  perhaps one day when you become a father, you'll have a record of your all-time favorite books and can recommend to him or her. i know i know, that's like a million years off you'd say, but remember, parents view time very differently than children.

5.  You are a true soccer player
there's been lots of changes this past year for you. even after receiving the Most Valuable Player {MVP} award this past season playing for the Blast Soccer Club, you begged us to try out Albion, a higher ranked soccer club here in san diego. after lots and lots of discussion between your father and i, we decided to let you try out and you made it for the 2nd level {i'll come back and fill out the official name once i talk to you}. the season is still new, but so far so good.  you travelled to las vegas and took 2nd place in your division last weekend.  i may be slightly biased, but even if i just saw you playing on a soccer field, i think i would notice you scout. you don't score the most goals or have the fanciest footwork on the field {although your skills are pretty impressive}. i'd notice you because of your 'intensity'...the way you focus when you are on the field and how smart you play. your coaches tell us you have high 'soccer intelligence' which translates to you understand the game...you see the field and options for moving the ball down the field. i wish i could say i taught you some of this, but i take zero credit. soccer is something YOU own....it's not something your dad and i push at all. we simply support you. the love and the drive you have comes from within.  your dad and love watching you play and have actually learned more about the game than we ever would have if you hadn't joined our family.

6. you're a great friend
this summer, your bestie, spencer, returned to san diego from barcelona and you boys are as happy as clams! he is here with his family for 6 weeks and you two have picked up right where you left off.  i was curious to see if your friendship might fade a bit because of the time and distance between you, but this hasn't happened. you two stay in touch regularly using skype and google hangouts. you two are committed friends and the effort is made on both sides....the sign of true friendships.  the summer of 2018 promises to be one of your best ones yet. in just a week and a half, there has already been a few sleepovers, birthday celebrations {for both you and spencer}, soccer playing and soccer watching {world cup}, book exchanges and you've got a big surfing/camping trip to mexico planned with your dad and finn and spencer and his dad and brother.  i have no doubt you'll return home with lots of new books read, a sun-kissed body, a big smile on your face and stories that will last for years to come.  

7.  You are a burger boy
like most kids you enjoy pizza and for your recent birthday celebration, we bought boxes of pepperoni pizza to feed you and your buddies, BUT if you had a choice, you'd prefer a burger from in-n-out almost any day of the week. your order is always the same: a double double cheese with a chocolate shake. as you grow and eat more, i will often take you here on the days you have soccer practice. you practice from 6-7:30pm and are starving when you finish so we'll stop at in n out to fill your belly. it makes you happy and though burgers aren't the healthiest food, i justify the stop by telling myself the burgers are a little better than other fast food joints becuase the beef is never frozen. the burgers are cooked fresh upon order. you told me you might even work here as a teenager because you hear the pay is well over minimum wage AND you get a free meal every shift you work.  i might just start calling you 'burger boy'. 

8. Math is your favorite subject
some might thing english is your favorite subject because you are an avid reader, but math is your favorite subject. it comes pretty easy for you. it may not always be this way, but it has been since the beginning, so we supplement alot from home {you still do kahn academy every year}. you finished 6th grade halfway through your 5th grade year and spend the rest of the year 'reinforcing' what you learned. you've had amazing teachers throughout your elementary school years and they've done a great job challenging you. i'll be honest, i struggled a bit helping you with a recent word problem you presented to me.  your math is becoming more complicated and you are finding that your father is a stronger in this area than your mom.

9. You had your first puberty class
a few months ago, you brought home a permission slip that your father and i needed to sign to allow you to - attend a class on puberty.  i could only think 'wow - that came fast. we of course signed the permission slip and briefly told him what they would be discussing. he didn't seem interested or perhaps that was his way of saying i don't want to hear this from you, but he now knows what to expect when he starts puberty. if you had your way, you would stay a child forever. you actually said this. i believe childhood goes by too fast scout, and though it's tons of fun having babies that coo and smile at us and toddlers who think we are superheros, it's also a beautiful watching you grow and come into your own. puberty is probably 2 years away yet, but it's coming. i bought you deodorant since you are starting middle school this year. even if you don't need to use it, it's good to have it on hand. 

10. You love legos, battle bots, superhero/marvel movies and of course watching professional soccer matches 
you are a busy kid scout with full days. i don't worry about you sitting in front of a tv for days on end...unless it's the world cup. when you do get some down time, it means you are watching something that I typically have no interest in. living with 3 boys means it's rare that i watch tv because we only have one and it's usually tuned to something sports or science related. i retreat to the guest bedroom and watch something on my laptop from time to time. this is part of living in a BOY house. 

11. You are a boy who has a dog...finally!
for the last 3-4 years, you've mentioned wanting a dog. after spending two weeks with grandma's dog maggie in florida, you were hooked. you didn't ask for one every day, you simply mentioned it a few times a year....when we would see a friendly or cute dog or visit friends with dogs. because your father and i were both working out of the house, neither of us felt it was right to leave a dog at home alone all day. our hope was that down the road, our circumstances might be different and there might be an opportunity to be dog owners. then there was. your dad took a job that has allowed him to work from home all-day full time if he wants and usually he does. we finally had an opportunity without feeling like bad pet owners.  

there were a few conditions before we added a furry family member to our group: the first being that we would not get a puppy as they require more work than a older dog. we weren't ready for chewing, house-training, etc. we simply don't have the time or the energy. second, christopher and i didn't want a dog that would shed. we clean enough at home and cleaning more was not something we wanted to be doing. the third request from ALL you boys is that we RESCUE a dog...not buy one.  this too was reasonable, as there are so many dogs {and cats} that need homes. we aren't so particular that we have to have a specific breed. the healthiest dogs are often the mutts and we were ok with this.

so a few weekends ago, you and i drove to our local petco store scout. every other weekend, there is some rescue agency parked in front of the store hoping to find good homes for their animals. i immediately saw a mid-sized black poodle that might have been a good fit, but someone was already filling out paperwork to adopt her. as i scanned the fenced in play yard looking at all the dogs...and there were lots, you discovered a small salt and pepper schnauzer in the corner shaking. she was very cute with a black face and a white moustache and white eyebrows.  the volunteer picked her up and put her in your arms. she was such a timid and a bit scruffy, but she was gentle and you fell in love scout. you literally didn't put her down for 45 minutes. when i asked if you wanted to hold another dog, you said "no. this is the dog i want mom. she needs a good home".  she wasn't exactly what i was envisioning, but you had made up your mind. i took a photo of you and bonita and sent to christopher letting him know we found our newest family member. to be sure our family and home was the right fit for her long-term, we did the 'foster to adopt' program. we are now on the 4th week and it's official - bonita is ours and we are hers. she has been such a beautiful addition to our home. her tail is no longer between her legs - it's wagging and she seems very happy with us. she especially loves sleeping in your bed scout. you have wanted a dog before you turned 11, and you discovered that sometimes birthday dreams do come true. 

happy birthday sweet scout about! there isn't a day that goes by that i'm not grateful to be your mom.

Your stats at 11 years old:
you are 54" tall and weigh 68 lbs. 
you wear a size 8 in jeans and a size 10 shirt. 
your shoe size: 3.5 and sometimes 4 shoe







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San Diego, CA, United States
I'm a Southern California mom to 2 boys and a wifey to my long-time love. I work full-time and life is a bit crazy, but I strive to remember to take time to enjoy the little things, because in the end, it's those things that will matter most.