happy mother's day

my heart is full of gratitude today.

i get to be called 'mom' by two beautiful boys whose
hearts are as big as oceans and smiles as bright as any star.
they bring so much beauty to my life.

i am also grateful to the wonderful mothers in my life who share
their wisdom, listen, support, guide, and love me as i navigate the
waters of motherhood.

wishing my mom and all mother's everywhere a very happy day!

on being ten

i've found myself observing my firstborn more closely lately.
i discretely tune into a discussion he might be having with a buddy or scout,
or i observe him as he reads or draws in his notebook.
he's growing up so fast. i can hardly get my head around that he's 10
{but he quickly reminds me if i forget}.

finn, here are my observations of you at this age.

"i'm not a baby".
you say this when we offer you the smallest bit of advice.
we know you're not a baby...we know it all too well because we remember the
exact moment you were born, even though it was ten years ago.

ten...it's the most frustrating and exhilarating mix of little-boy-big kid.
you happily play along with scout and his younger friends when they want to do
jedi training, and other times you want to be sit quietly alone somewhere reading
about the international space station or colonizing mars.

you'll remind me that you can use the bathroom in public spaces alone,
and can take scout whenever he has to go, that you can use the stove,
and that you are only 3 years away from being a teenager which means you can
get your own cell phone.  still, you think girls are gross.

you download your homework and work independently, email your buddies and auntie jen,
fearlessly grab a surfboard and head straight into the ocean, yet you still hug and kiss
your dad and me openly and ask for a backrub every night before bed.

when our family dog-sits brooklyn, you wake up every morning on your own and take her
for a walk and even pick up her poop.  the same day, you'll play with army men on your
bedroom floor and later wonder how santa can live so long. is he immortal you ask?

you can explain the big bang theory without missing a beat and get annoyed because we
won't let you be stay home alone yet, you cried tears when you missed the firework
show on the 4th of july. {we watched sea world's up-close the following night}

life is full of contradictions.

we can hardly believe you are ten years old,
that you've been with us for a whole decade,
and that our lives existed before you at all.

and the irony is our time with you is really about preparing you to leave us,
so you can step into the adult world confidentially and contribute to this beautiful
place we call home. oh how we love you finn oliver.

best book on raising boys

about a year ago, a mom friend with 4 boys
recommended this book to me.

i'm always interested in a good book recommendation,
and since this one came from a mom who i look up to,
{her teenager is so sweet}, i had to pick it up.  i'm so glad i
did because it's been by far, the best parenting book i've read.

raising children is challenging.
when they are little, the challenges are small - our job is pretty easy -
we keep our kids safe, are consistent with nap/bedtimes, teeth rushing,
redirecting, etc.  that's the easy stuff.

as kids grow and become more complex...the hard stuff begins.
the physical demands are less, but the emotionally demands are higher.
the stakes are higher now. alot of parents, including my own, believe the
adolescent years are the most challenging.  i imagine they are so i was
thrilled to find this book covers not just those years, but the entire spectrum -
from the toddler years through the college years.

i love that the authors, with 5 sons between them, have the practical experience
in parenting, and bring the clinical experience which is a prefect combination.

in a nutshell, the book breaks boyhood down into different stages/ages and goes
through each group thoroughly. scout is in the lover's stage {ages 5-7}, and finn
falls in the individual stage, {ages 9-12}. as i read about these ages, it was as if the
authors knew my sons so well...like they had peeked into their minds and reported
back to me and then told me even more. 

this fantastic book has lived on my nightstand for over a year and i reference it often,
and will continue to for years to come.  it's a must read for anyone who wants to help
understand and help a boy in his journey to adulthood.

i'll end with a wonderful quote from the book:
boys do not need to be tamed, they need to be first understood,
and then, embraced and enjoyed.