exp's 5th annual ping pong tournament

happy sunday!


this post will be short and sweet as i have a dozen things that still need done before i start the work week. three loads of laundry sit on the bed of the guestroom, i have thank yous to send, lunches to pack, school work to review and scout wants to begin reading wonder tonight {again}. his reason for rereading it is he "was just 6 when he read it and he wasn't as mature as he is now so he'll get more from it".  it's true. he will get FAR more from it reading it as a 10 year. in fact, he's the same age as the main character in the book, auggie.  oh and how could I forget, our 13 year old is off to 8th grade camp all week. he's heading 3 hours away to the mountains of big bear. he's excited and though we'll miss him, we are excited for him too}.

but i digress, before any more time passes, i wanted to be sure to post about scout playing in my company's ping pong tournament two weeks ago. this was his second year participating and though he was good last year, this year, he was 10x better!  all that playing at our kitchen table which is a good  2 feet shorter and one foot narrower worked to his advantage. between his incredible hand/eye coordination and his competitive nature, the kid took 3rd in this all adult contest which had approximately 60 players. i played as well, but was out after the first round {luckily i didn't have to get publicly beat by my son). mr. g was there too competing and he did well, but played the guys that took 1st and 2nd in the tournament so he was out earlier. 

i was both in awe and so proud of scout.  i've seen him play and beat his friends, his parents, and our adult friends who come to the house, but it's a completely different thing to see him compete against adults i don't know.  i wish i could say i taught him all his skills, but it's christopher who has the skills and is home more to teach and play with scout. they are matched up really well these days. i think c only went easy on him the first year he was learning.

scout has always been a natural athlete and a fierce competitor in whatever he does, and today was just one more reminder of it. scout loved playing my coworker, mike, who played college tennis at villanova. mike {wearing the propeller hat below} wins our company tournament almost every year. on our way home from the tournament, scout asked aloud how much longer i thought it would take for him to be able to beat mike. i responded that mike is a bit over over 30. perhaps when mike is in his 40s when his eyes start losing focus, he'd have a better chance. he said "i'd love to be able to beat him". i didn't tell him that in 10 years, he will just be graduating high school and preparing for college. he won't be worrying about my company's ping pong tournament. to a 10 year old, that's a lifetime away, but to a parent of a 10 year old, it's just around the corner. *sniff*

for what it's worth...

i was up late last night catching up on laundry that i neglected over the weekend.
while the boys watched an episode of the new star trek discovery, i washed and folded
clothes in the guest bedroom. yep, this little 1960s home doesn't have a laundry room.
i make due with the guest room. since i had lots laundry to fold, i passed the time by watching
the curious case of benjamin button, based off the novel of the same title by f. scott fitzgerald.


i watched this film years ago at the theater with christopher, and remember thinking the storyline
was a bit odd, but i really enjoyed it. during the movie, there is a scene where one of benjamin's letters to daisy, the love of his life is being read. the words were powerful and completely mesmerized me. with the right font and paper, this quote would make a beautiful framed gift to a friend, a sibling, a spouse or even a child graduating from college.
i hope you enjoy as much as i do.

finn oliver at 13

one night last week, after the boys were in bed, i sat alone at the kitchen table reviewing some of finn's projects that he brought home from school. i came across a piece of paper that had his name written in the center of it, and from it, lines branched out to circles with a dozen or more words that all described what he loves. i forgot to ask him what this was all about. was it for his teachers, peers, a self reflection exercise?


as i read all the circles, i smiled and thought, most of these words are exactly what i would have written to describe finn's passions. this was comforting to me because as moms of teens know, we start to get pushed away as our kids strive for more independence. because of this, we sometimes question how well we still know our teen.
that little boy that followed me around the house talking incessantly about space and submarines is gone. he no longer shares every thought he has with me. he needs more time with own thoughts as he processes them and transitions from boy to young man.
this piece of paper reminded me i still know my 13 year old well. the best part is the realization that i know hundreds more things that he would never share on this piece of paper....all those things that make up his heart. i know what makes him laugh, the things that inspire him, his fears and what makes him feel safe and loved.


this is the beauty of being a parent. anyone who spends a day or week with finn will clearly learn what some of his passions are, but as his parent, i get privy to so much more. for this, i feel pretty fortunate. {i think the word 'space' appears at least 5x on this paper} 

finn oliver gerber, 8th grade, age 13

most people

most people are good. there are some people who aren't good of course,
but if you could line up all the good people and all the bad ones, the line
of good people would be much, much longer.
- michael leannah, most people

over the last year, i've discovered a few fabulous literature blogs and instagram feeds that allow me to see the latest book releases and don't take much time out of my week to review. one is geared towards adult books which is perfect for getting ideas for my book club, the other highlights young adult (YA) books which has helped give me suggestions for finn, and the last focuses on children's picture books. even though i no longer have wee ones, i love a good picture book too, and I keep my eyes open for ones that are unique or that inspire.

i came across a newly released picture book called Most People and instantly loved the story and it's message that most people in this world are good. starting around the toddler years, parents and caregivers often focus a lot on 'stranger danger' and for good reason. young children are learning about the world and it's dangers. as protectors, we give them simple black and white messages like don't talk or go with strangers, etc. it's important stuff, but the reality is, our children are far likely to get injured in car accidents, from falls or drown in pools than get kidnapped. as our children mature, the conversation about strangers should change to teach that 'most people' aren't bad.

this new picture book does a beautiful job teaching this through incredible illustrations and addressing some every day stereotypes. for example, one page shows a large burly tattooed man wearing a leather jacket and a big chain necklace walking down the street towards an elderly grandma with a purse on her shoulder and walking with a cane. the man looks menacing, but the next page shows him opening a door for the grandma and saying "after you', as they both smile at each other. the book weaves characters of different ages and nationalities and shows a interactions and kindness throughout. the author shows how we are all connected to one another in our communities and as humans who share this world.

as i read through this book, i thought about how my parents raised their 7 children. i feel pretty fortunate they didn't teach us to be fearful of the world. this has helped me worry less and be a better parent to finn and scout. i am grateful for this. had my parents raised me to be fearful, our boys would have never had the opportunities to build deep friendships, never learned how other families live by sleeping over or taking trips with them. we would have never travelled to new countries {as a couple or as a family}, had all the adventures we've had to date, met so many interesting and kind people  along our journeys or even had the guts to try new foods. i remember my mom telling me that parents literally shape their children's view of the world and wow, what a responsibility this is. so thank you michael leanhan for reminding us that the world is not a scary place...that most people enjoy helping those in need, smile when they see a baby or a puppy, and enjoy going home to their loved ones every night just like we do. as this picture teachers, most people are good.

i was so happy to come across this gem of a book. it might just be my favorite picture book of the year!

being a middle school mom

middle school has so much drama and it's mostly involving the girls.
luckily, i've learned how to avoid it. i chose friends who don't like it and we stick together.
we're only in middle school, there should be no drama.
- finn oliver gerber, age 13

i was home from work today suffering from allergies, so c got a break from his daily routine and and i picked up the boys from school this afternoon.  when i asked about their day, these are the words that came from my firstborn. he's mentioned middle school drama a few times over the years, girl's fighting over boys, girl's being mean to each other, etc, but he never mentioned how he's been able to stay out of it until today. i like his strategy.

finn is now an 8th grader. this is his last year of middle school and the crazy thing is i was just sharing with my girlfriends that i am finally getting used to being a middle school mom.  towards the middle of last year, things started to fall into place, and i grew more confident in parenting him. now he's an 8th grader and high school is just around the corner. i'll be back in unchartered territory once again. being a  parent is like that....just when we think we got it down, something inevitably changes.

fortunately, what i've learned won't be a complete waste since scout is just behind finn. all those things i've learned will be helpful, and tonight, i wanted to take a minute to record some of them here....to remind me i CAN survive middle school years, and to remind other parents who are in the midst of it or will be there soon, that they can too.

here are 5 things i've learned over the last 2 years {i could list 20}:


1. stay close to your kids
middle schoolers start to distance themselves from their parents and though this is an important step to becoming a functioning adult, they still need us. don't let their size or attitude make you think otherwise. stay close to them with daily conversations. ask open ended questions that encourage them to give more than a yes or no answer. c does this on his drive home with the boys every day from school. they are a captive audience and aren't allowed to put their heads into electronic devices. he makes good use of their time together to connect and talk about their day. i did this as well during the boys' preschool days. we'd have the best conversations and it was truly my FAVORITE part of my day. i likely get a less enthusiastic discussion when i get home from work because the boys have already shared about their day with c, but they do their best to give me a few minutes. i reconnect with them again at bedtime when i read to scout,  and when i give finn a massage {he's into head massages these days}. just like with little kids, most middle school kids turn into jelly at bedtime. their defenses come down and they often will share something personal. we still do our once a month mom and son night too. with finn, it usually resolves around food {sushi}. scout prefers to do something physical. parents of middle schoolers, remember, don't let hormones scare you away from your kids. they need us and our influence more than ever during these critical years.


2. give them more responsibility
c and i grew up in homes with parents who believed in the value of work. we were given age appropriate chores all throughout childhood. at age 12, my brothers were mowing lawns, c had his own paper route and i was babysitting for a neighbor family every weekend. c and i want finn and scout to learn the value of work too and agreed early on not to give the boys a weekly allowance for chores.being a part of our family means they have to work and do their share. if they want to earn money, they have an opportunity to go above and beyond their usual chores list and work for it.

once a kid enters middle school, they are {typically} more mature and are physically bigger which means they can literally and figuratively carry more weight at home. finn has taken on more chores over the last two years which include rolling the very large trash and recycle bins to the curb once a week, watering plants, removing the pool cover, and helping with landscape. all these are in addition to his regular indoor household chores. his help has taken a bit off c's shoulders which i know he welcomes, and scout is starting to take on more too. as parents, it's important to let our kids know just how much their help is appreciated. they get a sense of accomplishment when they contribute in a positive way.  we're learning when we expect more from the boys, they step up.

3. have rules and enforce them
kids of all ages love rules, and they do better when rules are clear and there is consistency surrounding them. c and i learned this early on when our kiddos were babies and toddlers. i admit, daycares and nannies helped with the routine. they had it down and we followed the routine on weekends and when we were home and it worked like magic. naptime and bedtime were non-negotiable, to this day, the boys have set bedtimes and stick to it. even our middle schooler. because finn has been so responsible, we allow a little bending of the rules when he has sleepovers.


when it comes to social media or recreational computer use, finn knows that as parents, we have the ability and the right to monitor his phone and computer at ANY time. he is perfectly ok with this because the conversation started when finn first had access to a computer. it's been ongoing and was restated before he got his phone last year. the boys have no problem with this because expectations have already been set. as every parent and parenting book says, talk early and talk often.


just last weekend, the family sat down to discuss use of electronic devices. like so many other parents, we felt the boys were having too much screen time. c and i love computers as much as anyone - they help us work, organize our home photos and movies, stay in touch with loved ones, and plan trips, BUT, we don't believe they should take the place of active outdoor play and real connections {face to face time}. i told c i didn't want to get angry and start nagging the boys, so he suggested a simple family meeting. we all sat down at the kitchen table over the weekend. c and i discussed our concerns and we all come up with a solution that was fair and works for all. it took some negotiating and discussion, but everyone is on board, and until these new rules become habit, they are hanging in our kitchen and in the boys' bedroom to help us all remember.


4. they need to be reminded to take showers
when our boys were younger, they LOVED taking baths. they'd spend an hour or more in the tub. scout on occasion will still do this {mostly after tough soccer games}. these days, bathing of any kind, is a chore for finn....one more thing to cross off his list. some days i'm sure he would love to skip a shower, but puberty means hormones are in full swing and stinky armpits come with that. i want the my kids showering EVERY day. the only exception is if the boys swim late, they are in the ocean late in the day or we are camping. i don't sleep in their tent, and part of camping is smelling like sweat and campfire after all right. *grin* scout complains he shouldn't have to take a shower daily because isn't in puberty, but it's not too far off and good practice. more importantly, he plays soccer every day, and he gets sweaty and dirty.


5. middle schoolers like affection on their terms
as our children become tweens and teens and separate from us to find their own identities, they often become less affectionate. that doesn't mean they don't love us or want or need our hugs. they still do,  just not as much as they did when they were toddlers/preschoolers.  also, they want it on THEIR terms. for a mom like me who is outwardly affectionate, it's was a little difficult to be shrugged off when i put my arm around my 13 year old son. c reminded me it was in public which made it a little easier, but when i only got a half hug on mother's day instead of a full embrance, i was almost in tears. wait, come to think of it, i was actually DID cry tears, but not until after my teenager left the room.


other days, like today, finn kissed me 3x on the lips! the first kiss was just after he said 'thank you' for buying me an icee at the 7-11 {we were in my car}, the second came as he walked into the kitchen to find dinner ready, and the third came just before bed tonight.  impressive yes?  it seems this middle schooler still loves to love, but it has to be on his terms most of the time. like most his age, finn doesn't like affection in public or in front of his friends. a quick hug is ok, but anything beyond that and he gets frustrated.  if you have a middle schooler that refuses affection from you, don't take it personally parents. it's a phase and someday after college - in their mid to late 20s, i keep reading and hearing most kids will be comfortable enough in their skin to show some affection publicly. we just need to hang in there.


6. let our kids mess up
a lot of parents struggle with this one and i admit, i've struggled with this one a little. fortunately, i have a spouse who doesn't struggle with this one at all {maybe it's a dad thing?}, and he reminds me and sets an example of how to do this. when scout was younger, i'd let scout beat me in a foot race and in board games, but c would have no problem letting him lose. now when they play ping pong, c doesn't hold back at all and scout's a better player because of it. 


so parents, this one is really, really hard, but when our middle schooler makes a mistake, we HAVE to let him fail. this is pre-season for high school, and if we want our high schooler to be game-day ready (self-sufficient), he has to learn from screwing up a few times. that means if they forget their homework - instrument, sneakers, lunch, whatever - on the kitchen table, leave it there. if he blows a test, don't call the teacher. if his friend is mean, don't call his mom. if a project is due tomorrow, let them him sweat it out. our job is to let them solve their own problems because this is how they grow. {exception: if a child is being bullied, of course you need to step in}, but the point is, we have to let our kids mess up. so that's 6 things instead of 5, but i couldn't leave the last one out - it might be the most important.


i have a personal example i'll share here of how i let the boys fail this past year {it was hard, but worth it}. the boys had piano lessons coming up and neither had practiced all week. i reminded them to practice once a few days prior to it, but forced myself not to remind them again. the boys know they have lessons every friday afternoon, and they know they need to practice in order to be prepared. the boys blew off practicing and showed up to their lessons completely unprepared. their teacher, mr. patrick, was disappointed and said as much. they were embarrassed and from that day on, they practice on their own, NOT because i nag them or tell them i am  throwing money away. they practice because they experienced what it felt like to be unprepared and FAIL. they don't want that day repeated. 

so that's a little peek into the life of this middle school mom and what i've learned....so far.




middle school friends {finn oliver: age 13, 8th grade}

andy davis designs

i came across a poster advertising an upcoming surf contest here in southern ca, and i recognized the artist immediately. he's one of my favorites and the best part is he's local. his name is andy davis and he has a new studio, way way out there that recently opened in solana beach. 

oh how i love andy's work!  his style is playful and fresh and his sherbet color palette is almost delicious.
his pieces express his love of the ocean and surf culture.  yes, andy is a surfer and one look at his art and you'd have guessed it. he has created dozens of pieces with sinewy surfers {male and female} hanging ten or five or on the sand. one of my favorites {below} is a young couple from behind walking hand in hand and carrying surfboards in opposite hand. it reminds me of my early days in california with c - when we surfed together every evening after work and watch the sun melt into the ocean. ahhh, those were the days! i think back to them and can't believe how easy life was...we had so few responsibilities then. i'm grateful for those days because we built so many happy memories together around all that together time. i can't help but get a big cheesy grin on my face when i think about those days.


these days, i'm at the beach a lot less, but with c coaching finn's middle school surf team, the biggest boys will be enjoying many sunrise and sunset sessions over the next year. i vow to get to the beach more and maybe even join them for a surf session. i just bought a new wetsuit so i have no excuses.


in today's post, i really wanted to capture that i've been working on ideas to make date nights more fun. dinners, walks and movies are nice, but for those who have been married for years, or those who are in long-term relationships, you know how easy it is to fall into a rut and do the same things. we all know how important it is to experience new things, and that goes for couples too. since learning of andy's new studio, we've decided this will be perfect for an upcoming date. we'll get to see a variety of his work, and have a nice meal in a new neighborhood afterwards. i'm seriously excited about this and if we are lucky, we might even get to meet the artist. 


i'll finish with sharing two pieces of many i'd LOVE to purchase for my home.
it's unlikely i'll be doing this anytime soon since andy doesn't sell posters of his pieces, and his originals are a bit out of my price range.





the story shop

books are a uniquely portable magic.
- stephen king


i came across a blog post about the cutest bookstore i've ever seen.
it's called the story shop and the owner has gone above and beyond to make this place special.

the shop's tagline is where whimsy and imagination come to life and one look at the photos
and it was a book loving child's paradise.  it's home is a huge loft with wide open spaces and tall ceilings
and the books they stock range from hard to the classics to contemporary. there's a child-sized teepee with
loads of pillows that offer a comfy and private place for kids to get away and read while visiting, a hobbit hideout,
and even a yellow brick road leading up to a giant wardrobe inspired by the chronicles of narnia book series.
guests can walk right through it to another room where story time takes place. 

oh and i can't forget about the party room. they rent it out for birthdays, and they hold all kinds of special events.
i think i read they just hosted a 21+ harry potter celebration. one look at these photos and you'll see how this store
can make a booklover of all ages smile.


if i'm ever anywhere within a few hours of monroe, georgia {an hour east of atlanta}, where this
magical bookstore is located, you can believe i will be visiting.

back to school

it FINALLY arrived - the first day of school!
the boys started back this past monday.
i'm not sure who was more ready - the boys or their parents.
i say this not because the boys were difficult to deal with.
they weren't at all. it's just 10 weeks is a really long time. 
like many working parents, we'd prefer them to be in year round school,
with multiple shorter breaks throughout the year. it would be easier and
more affordable this way. my guess is many stay at home parents would
prefer this too.

so this is how the gerber boys spent their summer 2017:

for the first 5 weeks, junior lifeguards kept them active and got them in
great shape. they spent their days swimming, running, paddling, surfing,
doing pushups and sit-ups the correct way. when someone cheats, the
entire group had to start over. geez - those instructors don't mess around!
the session ended with the junior guards jumping off the ocean beach pier.
{this deserves it's own separate post which i'll try to get to later}.
the boys love it - it's their favorite part of the entire program!

the week following junior lifeguards, c put the boys in three weeks of tennis camp.
actually, finn just did 2 weeks of tennis as he opted for a science camp the third week.
the last 2 weeks of summer was filled with play dates and sleepovers. we had my friend
aspen's 2 sons with us for 3 nights as she got away to catalina island with her guy.
the boys are close in ages to finn and scout and they get along beautifully.
i have to give a proper shout out to c because he did the lion's share of the

shuttling and childcare this summer. yes, he has the job that has the flexibility and
allows him to do this, but frankly, i wouldn't trade places with him during the summer
months because he was on the road ALOT!  with all those additional parents, nannies
and tourists, san diego streets and freeways are even more clogged than usual during the
summer months, and it's no fun at all!  i'm not blaming tourists..even all those zonies.


i'd come here to escape 115+ degree desert temperatures too. i actually did this every
weekend the summer of 1996 when c was living and interning in san diego just for the
summer and i was still in tucson. i drove 10 hours roundtrip every weekend to see c.
{this was the summer we fell in love with san diego and decided we would find a way
to move there after tucson}. the boys have been in school for almost a week now and
are off to a good start. scout is thrilled with his 5th grade teacher, mr. govoni.
his teacher is the father of scout's good friend who is also a student at explorer.
scout has known him for years and he even spent a long weekend camping with mr. g
and his friend this past spring, so this week has been a walk an easy transition for scout. 
as a 5th grader, scout said he "rules the school" and is looking forward to getting a
'little buddy' assigned to him soon. this year, the 5th graders will be 'big buddies' to kindergartners.
scout said he can hardly believe how small they are. i didn't tell him that it seems like just
yesterday HE was that small kindergartener. *sigh*

finn oliver is now an 8th grader and i can hardly believe he is in his last year of middle school.
he may look like a 6th grader, but he certainly doesn't sound like one. his voice is changing and
he seems closer to adulthood than childhood. then again, he's always been an old soul and acted
more like an adult than a child. his voice isn't the only thing that's changing. he's growing!
yep, i measured both boys on the surfboard grow chart in their bedroom last week and finn is
almost 5' tall. i find myself looking almost directly into his eyes now when we talk. this reminds
me i need to pick up a few collared shirts for him {remember he prefers collared shirts to t-shirts}.

when i inquired asked about school, he reported that he thinks 8th grade will be a great year,
but he still needs another few weeks with his teachers to 'access' them. of course he does.
i hope they meet his expectations. if they meet his, they'll meet mine.

our growing gerblets as they begin a new school year:

1st day of school - scout {9}+ finn {13}

the great american solar eclipse

this is really cool mom. here take my glasses and see for yourself.
- scout, age 10




for several months leading up to the solar eclipse, i had been hearing a bit of talk.
unlike my firstborn who follows NASA daily and what's going on in the universe,
i only knew that on august 21, 2017, a total solar eclipse would be visible within a
band across the united states - from the pacific to the atlantic. from here in san diego,
we would be able to see about 60% of it. that's really the gist of what i knew.  


finn had mentioned it a few times, as well as some of my coworkers {engineers of course},
and the most excitement actually came from a retired gentlemen who is in my body pump
class on saturday mornings. he's a huge space enthusiast and loves to hear what finn is into
or what he is reading. at some point i will get the two of them together - they'll enjoy each
other's company.  so this gentlemen told me how he was driving to oregon  so he would have
an opportunity to be directly in the path to see the TOTAL solar eclipse.  he was so excited
and even asked if our family was interested in joining him. oh how i would have loved to.
oregon is at the top of my places to visit, but c's work projects are at critical stages and
it's not the best time to travel. {we have a trip to tucson in october we are excited about}.


since the last eclipses was visable across the total united states was in 1918, i thought we
should take advantage of this rare occasion. i took the morning off from work and took my two,
as well as the garrett boys, who had spent the last 3 nights with us, and we drove to kate sessions
park since it sits higher than our street at home. though there was some cloud coverage, the sun
broke through and we were able to get a good view of it around 10:15am. we only had four
pairs of glasses so i waited until scout offered his so i could see how "cool" this eclipse
was. and yes, it was pretty cool.

scout's 10th birthday celebration

to usher in his double digit birthday, scout really wanted a trampoline party.
he LOVES trampolines {like his momma}, but i was a little surprised he chose this because
he spends so much time jumping on his buddy dash's trampoline. i thought he might have
grown tired of it, but his love for jumping hasn't waned a bit.

since double digit birthdays are really special, and he's never had anything but backyard or park
birthday parties, i agreed to this off-site party. he had gone to get air for a friend's party,
and wanted to go there so i booked.  scout invited all his closest buddies,
with the exception of his bestie spencer who is living in spain. 

so on july 10th, the birthday boy got breakfast in bed and got to choose his menu.
he chose pancakes with blueberries, strawberries, whipped cream and bacon.
finn woke up early and helped me pull out the serving tray and arrange the fruit.
we carried it into his room pretty early because both boys had to be at jr. lifeguards
by 8:30am. scout was sound asleep as we entered the room singing happy birthday softly.
he sat up smiling with his tousled hair standing on end. after watching scout eat for a while,
finn ran back to the kitchen to get a little plate of food and brought into scout's room and sat
on the opposite end of his bed to keep scout company. we then watched our double digit kid
open cards and gifts from the family.

this past weekend, scout's birthday party finally happened! his friends from school and the neighborhood
were dropped off at our home mid-morning, and mr. g and i shuttled them to the trampoline park in two vehicles.
for 2 hours, the boys jumped, flipped, wrestled and played dodgeball. watching them made it clear to me why waiver's
are required for all jumpers. when the boys weren't playing dodgeball, they were taking turns jumping and flipping into
a giant pit of foam squares. it looked like so fun, I decided i had to give it a try. c wanted nothing to do with it
{he didn't grow up with a trampoline and thinks they are dangerous}. *sigh* i grew up with a trampoline so they don't phase me at all.
i'd love one in our backyard if we could find space for it. as i watched the boys flip into the pit, one after another, i admit, i was scared,
but since i had an audience of boys cheering me on, i got the confidence to do it. the boys, especially my three, were impressed their
middle age mom/wife did it. i was impressed i did it too {without injury}.  what a fun day. scout wants to have a mom/son date here
 in the future and i told him we will definitely be back.


after the trampoline park, c and i shuttled the boys home for cake and to swim and do a little archery. even though the boys had eaten
4 pizzas an hour earlier, they had no problem eating desert. christopher brought out the cake that he baked and decorated for scout.
there had been  discussion on whether the cake should be a trampoline, but in the end, they decided on a simple target cake,
since scout has been enjoying archery in the backyard so much. scout chose german chocolate for the simple round cake that c decorated
with white frosting and m&ms to make the bull's-eye and surrounding colored rings. it turned out beautifully!  i can't begin to describe
how much scout loved his cake.he was literally beaming when he saw his dad's final creation.
some photo highlights:

wonder: coming to theaters soon

three years ago, when finn was a 5th grader, he excitedly told me about
a book his teacher was reading aloud in class.  up until that point, there were
very few books that would excite finn, beyond harry potter or technical books
that related to space aircraft, so i listened attentively. he told me the book was
titled, wonder. i knew this book was special because finn talked about it for a
good half hour. i was intrigued at the story, the message it taught and decided
to purchase the audible book for our upcoming 5 hour road trip to phoenix
{10 hours roundtrip}.


scout prefers reading over listening and when finn said "mom we HAVE to have a copy
for our home library, i purchased one. scout read the entire book during that trip, and
despite finn having had the story read aloud to him just a few months earlier, he was
happy to listen to the book with me. for the entire trip, we had headphones in one ear
{c provided me with a 'splitter' to allow this}.  we laughed, cried and cheered as we
were pulled into the story of auggie pullman, a 5th grade boy who was born with a
genetic disorder known as treacher collins syndrome. i think now i was the only one
who cried while listening during that roadtrip, but we all loved the story. several teacher
friends have told me wonder has become required reading for many 5th grade classrooms,
and it's no surprise to me. it's one of our favorite books to give as a birthday gift.


i just learned the movie version will be out this fall. the boys and i watched the trailer
last night and WOW! the movie appears to be well casted with jacob tremblay starring as
as the main character, auggie, and owen wilson and julia roberts plaing his parents.   


we are anxiously looking forward to the film, and if it's even half as good as the novel,
it will be time and money well spent.  njoy the trailer and if you haven't read the book,
i encourage you to read it before the movie comes out. you'll see why this book is loved
by children, parents and teachers. just don't forget the tissues when you hit the theaters
this november. {you'll need 'em}

scout benjamin: our double digit kid

i can't believe i'm 10. it feels a little weird being double digits now.
- scout benjamin gerber




scout, today, you are celebrating your first double digit birthday. leading up to your big day, you said that you couldn't believe you were turning 10!  you said you loved being 9 and hoped 10 would be as good. i feel the same way. nine was wonderful, with so much growth emotionally. you've gone from a little boy to a big boy and it's been pure joy watching you grow. 
my tradition continues with a special birthday post to you. here are TEN things i want you to remember as you enter this next phase of your life:


1.  You have a heart of gold. if i asked you what your superpower is, you might tell me it's your soccer skills, or that you are great at math or spelling. it's true, you are good at these things, but i'd say your superpower is your sensitivity. you feel everything tremendously scout: time passing, memories, love and loss. just last night, we found your childhood blanket in the hall closet. you held it close and told me how many memories you have of that blanket. your eyes were a little watery as you shared one with me. oh scout, hold on to this part of yourself...don't let society tell you that has to be stuffed down or hidden. you can be strong and feel everything. in fact, feeling makes you stronger. keep that big heart of yours as you grow - it illuminates all those in it's path.
  

2. You don't give up - your dad and i know this, and your teachers, coaches and instructors recognize this as well. they admire your ability to focus and how determined you are. your 3rd/4th grade teacher {same teacher}, said you had "tenacity". whether you are doing khan academy, learning spanish, memorizing a recital piece, or learning a new soccer skill, you don't give up until you get it. sometimes it takes a few hours, a few weeks, months or even a year or longer for something really difficult. you are still working on mastering the rainbow {a soccer skill}, but you will stick to something until you get it. you seem to intuitively know that it doesn't matter how many times you fail, the important thing is to get right back up and try again. i hope this is something that you will do throughout your life scout. it will serve you well.


3.  You learned to whistle - Every year brings lots of firsts, and this year, you learned to whistle. you are pretty proud of yourself. you and your father are the only ones in the house that can do it. one day you simply announced you couldn't whistle and started practicing. you weren't a natural, but you kept at it for weeks until you got it. now you can whistle beautifully and can carry a tune. the star wars and star trek themes are your current favorites, and i know that when you are whistling, you are in a good mood. you promised to teach me to whistle one of these weekends. {i wish you luck son}


4. You still love to read. you've been reading for 6 years now scout, and your vocabulary and reading comprehension surpassed our new president's several years ago{no exaggeration}. you still eagerly share that jk rowling's harry potter series sparked your love of reading and it's the best series ever written! the first time you read it was in 1st grade and you've read the entire series four times since then. you never grow tired of it and I vow to get you and your brother to the wizarding world of harry potter at universal studios in hollywood this fall. other favorites books series of yours are: the unwanteds, the mysterious benedict society, and the ranger's apprentice.  you still bring a book with you every where you go and you don't care what others might think about your sitting in the large part of the shopping cart at target reading while i shop and push you around. i'll visit the home décor aisle to get you a pillow for your back to make you comfortable, and you read away. you often get interrupted by mothers saying how refreshing it is to see a child with their head in a book rather than electronics and you smile and go back to your reading. it's nothing new for you...it's just the way it's always been. on those rare occasions you don't have a book, i will give you my phone, but it's the exception. {like most males, you still detest shopping so i try not to bring you out with me when i have errands to run}


5. You travelled to Barcelona - after your best friend, spencer, moved to spain, we decided to save and visit him during spring break this year. what a trip we had! though the food and architecture didn't excite you like it did your mom, seeing your best friend again was a bit of heaven for you. spencer greeted us at the airport with his parents with a sign that said ' welcome to barcelona scout and angela'. i am sure you will never forget this trip, and i will never forget the look on your face as you reunited with your buddy. the highlights of this trip for you was attending school with spencer {you even wore a uniform}and going to a professional soccer game.  you saw fc barcelona play sevilla and win 3-0. lionel messi scored 2 of the goals and suarez scored one with a backwards bicycle kick that was truly AMAZING!  even this middle-aged momma was impressed.


6. Soccer is your passion - this is your 3rd year of competitive soccer. you played with riptide your first year and then moved to blast which is more local. your love for the game hasn't slowed down even an teensy bit. if anything, it grows stronger by the day. you are passionate about it scout - playing, watching, and learning everything you can about the sport. every parent wants their child to find their passion. there's nothing more gratifying to us when our children do, and you my son, have found yours. this may change from soccer to something else someday, but i hope you always have passions. they make life more meaningful and interesting. your dad and i will support whatever it is that excites you. for now that's soccer and it's been fun seeing your growth and maturity over the past year. when you lose a game, you still get angry or sad {depending on the situation}, BUT there are no more verbal outbursts from you and no big bursts of tears. you feel deeply, but you stay composed on the field. we are proud of you scout, but more importantly, you are proud of yourself. you've come a long way.


7. You love chocolate and are highly ticklish - you love all types of chocolate, but twix candy bars are your favorite! snickers and kit kat are the runner ups. you also are crazy ticklish and not just under your arms or your ribs either. you are ticklish practically EVERYWHERE and this makes it rather tricky to give the massages you ask for after jr. lifeguards or soccer practice. you ask for one but then you giggle and jump up as soon as i touch you. we work around it by me using the 'karate chop' method on your back. oh scout when we want to torture you, we all know what to do - we tickle you!!


the last are just things i want you to be aware of as you go from little boy to big boy:


8.  Pay attention to your life - you do a pretty good job of this now, finding ladybugs or snails that the rest of us just walk right by. you use the word 'savor' alot, and when you eat your dessert slowly, you tell the family you are "savoring" it, just like you do with the easter candy you still have. oh scout, hold on to this because life goes by fast. you are beginning to see this as you say goodbye forever to your single digit years. there is SO much to notice in the every day moments. as you get older, life will get busier and more complicated, but i encourage you to slow down like you do now and notice things. when we pay close attention to our experiences and our feelings, we are rewarded with fuller days and richer memories.


9. Never feel entitled - you don't struggle with this scout, but in a world where kids are overindulged and helicoptered, i wanted to list this because there is nothing worse to me than entitlement - in a child or an adult. your father and i have tried to teach and model for you how to work hard for everything you want - whatever that is. we expect you to carry your weight at home as part of our family. we know when things are handed to us or come too easily, and can't appreciate them the same way we do when we work hard for them. we hope your motivations will be for things that bring meaning to your life. if our family has a motto, it's "people and experiences are important, things aren't". though material things are nice and make our lives comfortable, we want you to always feel you have enough because you do. we are extremely fortunate to live as we do every day and we want you to recognize this. we have way more than we need. as a family, we make an effort to show gratitude - in the language that we use, to volunteering occasionally, and even sending thank you notes. all these little things are important - they bring an attitude of gratitude, teach you responsibility and ward off the entitlement monster.

10. Know you are loved, always - messing up is part of life buddy. you are going to make mistakes - lots of them. we all do. the point is to learn from them, let them go and start over. your dad and i will always love you, even when you behave in ways that we don't love. we encourage you to forgive others when they mess up. we also want you to try and surround yourself with friends who lift you up and make good choices, and who share similar values as you. you are still young and finding your way scout. don't let mistakes freeze you in your tracks. admit them, grow from them and move on. we do this as your parents every day, and you still love us, so be assured that when you make mistakes, we will still love you too...always.


happy birthday double digit kid!! you inspire our family in so many ways, including your big brother. {just re-read the birthday card he gave you}. we're lucky to have you as our youngest family member. you make our household SO much fun with your intensity, tenacity, and your big beautiful heart. we look forward to celebrating your birthday at the trampoline park soon!


love,
mom


your stats at age 10: you are 58 lbs. and 53" tall.
you are just about to grow out of size 7 clothing and into size 8. you wear a size 3 shoe.




disclaimer: i felt compelled to put in that trump reference because scout and i just heard him in an interview and OMG - it's truly pitiful. it's still shocking to me that this man is supposed to represent our country. i wish i could pack up and move somewhere else until he's out of office. ugh.

connie comes to cali

my dearest friend connie, who i've known for 20 years, came to visit last weekend!  i met this lovely lady back in tucson in a college  history class and we became
fast friends. we spent endless hours together, studying, hiking, clubbing, and she was my tour guide during my first trip to new york city. {she had lived there for a few years}.

that trip and the story surrounding it bonded us for life. after c and i moved to san diego, she and i have made a strong effort to get together once a year. i either go to arizona,
or she comes here. this year, she chose to come to the coast. some highlights of our time together:

- we attended a show at cafe sevilla in downtown san diego which included an 3-course meal with
seafood paella being the main course. we drank fruit filled sangria, enjoyed spanish guitar while watching a flamenco dancer in full costume stomp her feet and clap in rhythm. there was even a belly dancer who balanced a sword on her head while doing a full backbend and split. {connie whispered to me that we could do that if we wanted to - sure I said}. *wink*
- we spent time relaxing and talking - no matter how much we talk every month {and we do often}, there's still more when we get together. we talked about our dreams to travel more and where we want to go, our marriages, our children {her oldest daughter just graduated high school}, aging parents and of course what we are currently reading. connie even found time to read a bit in the backyard. she wanted to be outside as much as possible and reminded me she left 117 degrees back in tucson and was soaking up every second of the 78 san diego temps. she reminded me not to take it for granted.
- we did an old town trolley tour - i used tickets i had purchased for my mom during her recent visit. we never used them as she decided she'd rather spent the entire afternoon in old town wandering the streets and visiting the little shops. connie was happy to be the recipient of them. we started the tour in old town and spent 3 hours being driven all around san diego while the friendly tour guide/driver shared some history of san diego's downtown, our ball park, seaport village,
the historic barrio logan neighborhood, balboa park, and coronado.  afterwards we had lunch at café congress in old town.
and the weather was perfect the entire time...

-outdoor movie night - connie had yet to see the movie musical la la land and i was happy
to help make it happen for her. since this movie is meant to be seen on a large screen,
and because i have a patient hubby who really loves me {and wants our guests to enjoy their time with us}, he set up the oversized screen and speakers again ...something he had done a few
weeks earlier for a group of my girlfriends. i also invited a couple girls over who weren't able to attend the first showing and we gushed over ryan gosling. those of us who know and love the music did our best not to sing along.  we all hope to see this as a musical on stage soon {we've heard rumors it's in the works}.

- the presidio - we spent sunday getting coffee and visiting presidio park. i had been up to the presidio a few times for photo shoots but i had never been inside the museum. i was missing out because it was chock full of history. i am determined to see some more of california's missions over the next few years.

4th of July 2017

since we moved into our mid-century home almost 4 years ago, we have decided
not to fight the crowds at the beach, and stay home and invite friends who also don't
want to fight the beach crowds, to join us in the backyard for a  BBQ/pool party.

every year has been easy and so much fun, so we have kept up this tradition. 


this 4th, we had a nice turnout, with a mix of neighbors and our long-time pb friends.
the kids that came ranged in age from 3 to 15, and only one of those had to wear arm floaties
which made it really nice for the adults. the kids and adults played on a crazy slide
that mr. g built with finn when scout and i were away on spring break. {he knew i
would never approve of it}. we are only half joking when we call it the Slip n Die.
if someone did fall from the top of it onto the pavement, they would very likely die
or be disabled for life. it's about 10' high and well, after several weekends of playing,
i've insisted it be put away. it's too much of a liability. we considered having guests
sign waivers to go down it, but really, it's not worth it. i have encouraged him to build
something a bit less steep or even buying a good old diving board for heavens sake. 
sure diving boards come with risk as well, but i'm not that much of a worrier.
{remember i want a trampoline}.

we had a great day swimming, diving, sliding {those who are fearless}, eating and
drinking too much. some photo highlights of the day:





father's day: 2017

father's day was extra special this year as we had grandpa gerber and grandma sheila
visiting from minnesota. it had been a while since they had been and they were kind
enough to fly to the west coast to visit for a long weekend. 


some highlights: dinner at casa guadalajara in old town, lots of pool time, two backyard barbecues
and one that included uncle tommy, a day at the uss midway {just grandparents and grandsons},
and breakfast at tidal restaurant at paradise point hotel right on the bay. it was so wonderful spending time with them and for the boys to get some genuine quality time.  there's nothing more enjoyable
i think for grandparents than getting one-on-one time with their grandchildren.
finn and scout thoroughly enjoyed it.

3 generations of gerbers

in keeping with tradition, the boys responded to questions about their dad.
this year, they preferred to type them instead of writing them, so i've copied and paste and am inserting
{of course i saved a printed copy as well}.
i think i enjoy seeing their responses as much as c does.


scout gerber, age 9:

1.     What is something dad always says to you?  he snuggles and jokes around

2.     What makes dad happy?  chocolate and hanging out with family
3.     What makes dad sad?  when he watches very sad movies – typically ones that have to do with children or being a father

4.     How does your dad make you laugh?  He tickles me and tells jokes

5.     What was your dad like as a child? he was a big reader (he even won an award), he played sports like ice hockey and he was a great student in school

6.     How old is your dad? 46

7.     How tall is your dad?  5-6” – I don’t really know

8.     What is his favorite thing to do? Surf or play tennis

9.     What does your dad do when you’re not around? work

10.   If your dad becomes famous, what will it be for?  for building crazy things like the giant slide he just built

11.  What is your dad really good at?  tennis, surfing and building

12.   What is your dad not very good at? singing (?)

13.   What does your dad do for a job?  he currently works for HP (Hewlett Packard). He is an Architect/Project Manager

14.   What is your dad’s favorite food? Taco Surf – breakfast burrito

15.  What makes your dad proud? when us boys accomplish something or when we are responsible

16.   If your dad were a character who would he be? Mike Brady from The Brady Bunch
17.   What do you and your dad do together?  Swim and build things together

18.    How are you and your dad the same?  we both care about education and fitness

19.   How are you and your dad different?  Dad likes building and designing things and I don’t really

20.  How do you know your dad loves you? he tickles me, snuggles and jokes with me, and comes to all my soccer games.

21.  What does your mom love most about your dad?  When he spends time with her, gives her romantic cards and cuddles with her

22.  What is your dad’s favorite place to go? The beach and Mexico

23.  How old was your Dad when you were born?  37

finn gerber, age 13:

1.     What is something dad always says to you?  i love you
2.   What makes dad happy?  spending time with us,  getting time to do some things he likes to do
3.     What makes dad sad? a stressful day at work (?)

4.     How does your dad make you laugh? comedic shows or something scout and i do that is funny

5.     What was your dad like as a child? he was one of 5 boys and it was probably crazy
6.     How old is your dad? 46

7.     How tall is your dad?  5'7 - i don't know

8.     What is his favorite thing to do? spend time with family

9.     What does your dad do when you’re not around? he plays tennis

10.   If your dad becomes famous, what will it be for?  best do it yourself Architect

11.  What is your dad really good at? building things

12.   What is your dad not very good at? singing

13.   What does your dad do for a job? he manages people and projects

14.   What is your dad’s favorite food? chicken mole

15.  What makes your dad proud? achieving his goals and watching us succeed in ours

16.   If your dad were a character who would he be? i don't know. he is a unique person.
17.   What do you and your dad do together?  build things, we surf and go to lunch together

18.   How are you and your dad the same?  we both like to make crazy contraptions

19.   How are you and your dad different?  dad takes a more deep approach when we design of things.

20.  How do you know your dad loves you? he is affectionate and we spend time together

21.  What does your mom love most about your dad? that he loves us and takes care of us and our home

22.  What is your dad’s favorite place to go? Mexico

23.  How old was your Dad when you were born? 33