scout's 9th birthday

all i want to do for my birthday is play soccer.
- scout benjamin


before i even checked in with scout about this year's birthday theme,
i already knew what it would be.  it couldn't have been anything else
but soccer. it is his world right now.  even when he is asleep, i
imagine him dreaming of blocking shots as keeper {he loves this position},
or making amazing header goals {he actually did this in his last tournament}.


we celebrated a few weeks later this year, as scout had soccer tournaments
and a friend out of town who he really wanted to be there. he didn't seem to mind at
all which is yet another sign he's grown up alot in the last year.
once i had the theme, i jumped onto etsy and found this talented designer from
barcelona of all places and bought her 'soccer digital printables'. i made sure to
get scout's permission beforehand of course. 

christopher worked with scout to come up with a design for his
birthday cake. they ended deciding on a simple jersey design in
german's national team's colors and scout's age on it.
my little loved it and c enjoyed that it didn't take 2 days to
design/decorate {unlike last year's harry potter cake} whew!

the birthday celebration took place over two days. 
scout had a handful of his best soccer lovin' friends overnight.
they played soccer, swam after dark, enjoyed eating a 28" pizza
and making their own sundaes with lots of toppings!
the following morning, i drove them to our local elementary school
where they played soccer with my coworker, who is not only a
talented engineer, but a soccer player.  he played for yale university
for four years!

scout had asked if i could get a 'professional' soccer player for his birthday, preferably, thomas muller.
i explained that i didn't have the connections nor the resources for this, however i did have a pretty good alternative.
when i told him about my coworker, the first thing he asked was if he was young {god forbid he be old!}.
i assured him he wasn't a day over 25 which he loved. he had the time of his life, and i'm pretty sure peter had as much fun as the little guys.


after playing soccer, the boys came back to the house and some of scout's non-soccer playing friends joined for lunch and a pool party. 
the kids swam, took turns flying across the yard on the zip-line and doing crazy jumps/poses off a platform while i called out scores for 'best style'.
they had a blast and i had fun right along with them.
we ended the party with a soccer piñata which fell down after two whacks from scout. this one wasn't designed by mr. gerber, so it wasn't structurally sound.
i had my doubts when i bought it at party city, but was hopeful. the kids got over their disappointment quickly when c climbed up to the zipline platform and
threw the candy out all over the pool deck.  the boys swarmed like bees to collect it all in their treat bags. my tween said he was "too old" for the piñata
and made himself useful by capturing it all on c's phone.

we arranged for scout's bestie to stay for a while after all the other kids left so that scout could open his birthday gift and the boys could say goodbye to each other.
his buddy was leaving for spain in 2 days. scout received a beautiful engraved frame that said 'best friends forever' and held a photo of them.
watching the look on their faces as the gift was given and received was priceless. i almost cried tears.

mr mraz makes me happy

i had a sweet surprise this past summer right here in my backyard.
i learned jason mraz would be performing at café gratitude, a vegan
restaurant downtown that he co-owns.


he was sneaky and didn't advertise this little private concert, which
made it all the sweeter for me. my dates for the afternoon were finn
and scout {who were reluctant to join at first} as we arrived an hour
before he came on stage. i had warned them so they were prepared
with books. they read while i chatted with some girlfriends who are
almost as big of fans as i am.

while waiting, i made decided to purchase smoothies for from the cafe
and just as i was walking in, mr mraz was walking out with a take-out
container with his lunch. i very casually said "hi Jason", and he said hi.
scout was at my side and said was that really him mom? i think he was
a little starstruck.


i watched Jason to make sure he had a chance to eat his lunch and chat
with his buddies and then headed over to meet him as i saw others
eyeing him with the same idea.  when we walked up, he was so polite
and grinned when i told him i was one of his biggest fans. i explained
that i saw him years open for lisa loeb at a club in pacific beach, years ago.


he grinned and said "wow, you've been following me a long time and
thanked me. he introduced himself to scout, posed for a photo with us
and a few minutes later he was on the sidewalk outside his café singing
his heart out.  


it was a perfect summer day with mr. mraz!

life reimagined

one of the wonderful woman in my book group came to june's
meeting sharing that she was struggling with  'middle-age'. 


now this woman is newly 41....the youngest in the group, so we looked at her
with surprise and honestly, some of us chuckled a bit.

she said she was serious, then reminded us that because we were all likely
to live to be 80, we were all technically 'middle aged'. 
wow, i had never even given thought to that. 

one woman said she preferred to call the stage of life we are in the 'middle place'
and most agreed that was a better term.  i announced that i plan on living to 100,
so i haven't hit middle age OR the middle place yet. this won't happen until i'm 50
and i've got a few more years yet.  *grin*




next, she whipped out this book with a yellow festive jacket:

she explained she heard the author, barbara bradley hagerty, on npr discussing her book.
apparently, when bbh she was in her mid 50s, she began struggling with this particular phase
in her life. she felt like she was on a treadmill, grew a bit depressed and wondered why. she had friends who were not just surviving middle age, but actually 'thriving'.  many were older and seemed happier than they'd ever been. she wanted to know what their secret is...what all these people had in common. her book is the culmination of years of research of what she learned and how it helped her appreciate her life more and to look forward to the years ahead.

our friend was so excited about this book and was going to read it regardless if we chose it or not, so we all decided to read our first non-fiction book as a group. we all devoured it and when we met over dinner in july, we literally shut the restaurant down. we talked about this book and other things surrounding it for literally 4 hours! it was chock full of research {i means tons of it}, yet it was a very easy read. barbara shared very personal and intimate parts of her life, which made her vulnerable and relatable. i thoroughly enjoyed it this book and have recommended it to others who are currently reading it. 

i highly recommend to anyone approaching 40, and for everyone 40 and beyond.

if you simply don't have time to read, i'll share the highlights. these are the key factors for thriving in middle age and beyond:

1. find new passions - trying new things in life helps us stay engaged.  it could be music, a new language, a new sport, or a new organization/club. learning something new keeps our brains active. all the research shows that when we are engaged in something new, we are happier....even if we are completely frustrated or struggling with this difficult thing. humans are wired for learning and for challenges. we are happiest when we are lifelong learners.  

2.  find meaning in work/career rather than success - research shows that somewhere around middle age, we realize we are either at the top of the hill, or on our way down. humans everywhere begin to feel an urge to contribute to the world....to genuinely strive to find a meaningful way to give back. some make career changes mid-life or beyond. others are more subtle. they might start a non-profit, volunteer their time, knowledge or resources of any kind to causes they care about.

3. bring novelty into your marriage/relationship - for those who have been married for many years {like me}, this one is really interesting and important.  just like finding new passions for personal growth, in order to keep long-tem relationships thriving, research shows that couples must seek out something new together - hobbies, friendships, travel, etc. the author shared a fun story about how her husband dreamed of renting an rv and travelling to some of the US national parks in it. she was never interested but after seeing all the research surrounding this topic during the writing of this book, she she realized this could be a way to bring a little zest/novelty into their relationship of 15+ years. they went and it did exactly that.  they had one of the best vacations of their life and grew together as a couple. {oh how i loved her story. my other half wants to do this very thing}

 4. engage in life - every bit of evidence says to be engaged in life. it was a huge theme throughout the book. there's no question that we live longer, are healthier and happier when we are true participants in life. sitting in front of the tv, the computer or being alone isn't healthy. people are meant to be with people and to be engaged. what i found truly fascinating in this section of the book was that medical science shows that people who engage in life actually have the ability to change their genetic makeup to a point. not 100% completely - but to a point...and to a point that actually matters.  our minds are so connected to our bodies and SO powerful.  happy people can actually ward off all kinds of diseases. it's fascinating stuff.
 

so there you have it....the cliff notes from life reimagined. i was just thinking how this book would make a perfect gift for someone turning 40 or any age after. it wasn't depressing at all, it actually made me really excited about what's ahead.



the best year of my life

"i wish i could stay 8 forever. it's been the best year of my life".
- scout benjamin


as i sat on the edge of scout's bed the night before his birthday,
he looked up at me with genuine concern and said this. he explained
how great his 8th year had been.  he loved 3rd grade, has a best friend,
and was playing on a good competitive soccer team. 
he was worried that year 9 wouldn't quite be as good. 


he explained that his best friend was moving to spain, he was playing for
a new competitive soccer team, and he was getting a new teacher in 4th grade.


as an adult who's been in the world for 40 plus years, it would have been
so easy to respond "you'll be just fine scout", but i know these things make up
his entire world.  it's hard for him to have perspective when he only has a few
years to draw upon.


i took some time to tell him that i understood how scary it must be for him with
his very best friend moving, not having mrs. manguil around, the teacher he had
for the past 2 years, and starting a new soccer club.  i also took some time to tell
him this could be another fantastic year, maybe even better. we can never see the
future, but we can chose to be positive about what lies ahead.  i chose to be positive.


he gave me a big hug and said "i chose to be positive too".  with glossy eyes, i kissed
my little goodnight and wished him sweet dreams.


as i crawled into bed later that night, i shared our conversation with christopher,
and told him just how much i adore our almost nine year old. as a mother, i feel
like i can't possibly love my children anymore than i already do. then, there is a
conversation or interaction with them, and i totally do. 


a mother's heart seems to continue growing as her children grow.

scout benjamin turns 9

i wish i could stay a child forever.
- scout benjamin gerber

 

today our sweet scout benjamin is 9 years old! words can't begin to express how much joy this kid brings to our family.
i feel so lucky i get to watch him grow....to get a front seat to his childhood.



Scout, here are 9 things i want to remember about you at this age:

1. You are crazy about futbol! (soccer to us Americans)
   

   You love to play and have become quite the player over the last year.  you want to play every day and though we live 5 minutes from a big grassy field and we visit it often AND your dad built a big soccer net for you to practice shooting in the backyard, you complain that our home has no grass. You'd love a field of your own. 
   
   If you can help it, you rarely miss watching your favorite German player and team, Thomas Muller of Bayern Munchen.  you are crazy about them!  you have both Muller's home and away jerseys and wear them on accordingly on game day.  It’s quite adorable.  your nickname is ‘Mini Muller’ and your best friend's nickname is  ‘Lil Messi’.  you presented him with matching leather bracelets with your  nicknames stamped on the inside for his recent birthday.  when he moves to Spain in a few weeks, you two will have these tokens of friendship to remind you of your special friendship and your love of soccer of course!

    

    
2. You love math
   

   You are a serious math kid! on any given morning after you have eaten breakfast, brushed your teeth and have gotten dressed for the day, I will find you on the computer solving math problems on Kahn Academy.  you do this for FUN {i can hardly believe you are my child in this way}. you are currently 96% through the 5^th grade math curriculum and are hoping to be done this weekend.  you enjoy math SO much you announced you changed your mind about being a writer and will probably be a mathematician instead. {finn was quick to tell you that was a better career choice but not to worry, you can still  write books in your free time}. 

    
3. You love reading and being read to
   

   Long ago, you discovered that reading is magical…whether it’s reading alone or being read to out loud.  stories makes you happy, make you think, give you a larger vocabulary, encourage you to dream, entertain and can teach.  reading has also helped you build friendships as it gives you topics to discuss. readers love other readers, and you've bonded with many adults and children over your love of books.

    

   as your mother, i have been struggling helping you find appropriate reading material these days.  you were assessed as a level ‘V’ reader this past year in 3^rd grade {this is on an A-Z scale} which means you can read and comprehend almost anything. you are 9 years old, and despite your skill level, not everything is appropriate.   

     

   though you would love to read every YA (young adult) book, i've been steering your towards tween books instead for now.  I will allow some YA and adult books after some research on my end. recently completed the Harry Potter series for your 3^rd time and you are currently reading the Warriors series which your buddies Spencer recommended.  you are really enjoying it.  no matter what age you are, i hope your love of reading lasts your entire life.

    

    
4. You are fierce in your feelings
   

   No matter what you are feeling – happiness, sadness, anger, elation, etc, you feel them all deeply.  Sad books or movies will bring you to tears, and a sleepover with elicit a squeal of delight. Your father and I recognized you wore your emotions on your sleeve early on, but it's only been recently that I realized just how much your feelings factor into who you are. As a way for me to better understand your analytical brother more, I found a personality quiz online and had the entire family take it.  We learned so much about ourselves and each other.  While Finn scored high on logic, you scored high on intuition and highest on feelings - a 99%!!!  This explains so much. We love your big heart Scout, and are doing our best to be sensitive to you, help you manage your strong feelings appropriately, and to love you well. 

    

    
5. You sleep with your lovies every night. 
   

   You call your stuffed animals ‘lovies’, a term you probably picked up from Finn and me as a toddler.  You only have 4,  but your  BlaBla dog ‘Patch’ that you received for your 1^st birthday is your favorite and is well loved.  SO loved that this once 8" thick and fluffy sock dog is faded and flat, probably 1/2 " thick now. He desperately needs stuffing and some stitching or put away in your keepsake box, but you won't have that.  You have stated that you aren't ready for that yet and will let us know when that day comes.  Since you don't take him anywhere {even to sleepovers}, I figured it's ok.  Your beloved 'Patch' deserves a dedicated post about him.
    
6. You love challenges of ANY kind.
   

   From early on, you went looking for them.  You climbed an 8 foot ladder at 18 months...quite easily too. After trying to prevent your endless attempts to climb the loft ladder in the guest cottage years back, we decided to just let you go.  We simply ‘spotted’ you from below and put a big bean bag on the floor below you in case you fell. you never did.  You rode a two-wheeled bike the week you turned 3 and were reading well before you were in Kindergarten.  This is who you are Scout…fearless and charging through life.  Because you were a daredevil, I used to worry about your physical safety when you were younger.  Even up until age 5/6, I worried about you on your bike.  These days, I rarely worry about you.  You push yourself physically but seem to know your limits. Still you love and ask for challenges.  While I encourage you to write stories, read different kinds of books, or challenge yourself with a new piano piece, your father is much better at coming up with physical challenges for you.
    
   Junior Lifeguards begins in a few weeks and you are already in 'Training'. All the soccer you play apparently isn't enough for you.  Similar to your ‘Jedi’ training from last Summer, this year it’s been revised to ‘Clone’ training {you still like Star Wars}.  Christopher put together a fitness regimen for you, and you are thoroughly enjoying completing the challenges. this too deserves a post all of its own. I almost forgot about a recent challenge which you succeeded in.  you won a roller-skating race for your age division.  you have been racing since you were about 6 years old and have never won, but you never gave up.  The day finally came when you finally WON!  Auntie Leslie, your cousins, brother and mom were there to witness it and cheer for you at the top of our lungs. what a day!!  your grin was off the charts and i think mine was too. {i remembered to record it too}
   

    

    
7. You love sweets, especially chocolate! 
   

   You have no preference for milk or dark…you love them both.

   You prefer ice cream over cake/pie and are fully satisfied when you can put sprinkles on top.  Oh how you love sprinkles!  As much as you love sweets, one would think you would devour your Halloween, Christmas or Easter candy within a week or two.  This is not the case. You have such willpower and you ask that we put your candy in a ziplock  bag and you savor it for months - for months and months.  you just finished the last of your Christmas stocking candy a week {a milk chocolate tin soldier}, and you are still working on your Easter candy.  I question if it's even good anymore, but after opening up and trying it, you assured me it was absolutely fine. *grin*

    
8. You hate to lose Auntie Jen once said she thinks you hate losing even more than winning.  I thought about this, and feel maybe she is right.  Three (3) years ago, you would play a soccer game and lose, run through the parent tunnel with a smile on your face and happily grab your after game snack bag.  Sports have completely changed for you.  When you turned 7, you become highly competitive and winning was most important.  You aren't even interested in the after game snacks unless you win. You keep track of every goal and game you played and will never ever forget the year you played on a rec soccer team and didn't win a single game {it was the worse 3 months of your life you said}. You no longer bawl when you lose, but you still get frustrated and shed quiet tears .  You are working hard on controlling your emotions and are making great strides.  Your dad and I are proud of you and will continue guiding your emotions after losses and reminding you there are valuable lessons in losing.  
   
9. You are a kind son, brother and friend. I find so many beautiful qualities in you Scout, but this is the one thing that makes me most proud. You care about people and are so loyal to those you love….defending them wholeheartedly, even your brother {who isn't always so kind to you}. When there is a situation that makes you uncomfortable or you disagree with, you do a great job discussing it with the person to get past it. You love Finn deeply and I've heard you reassure him when he was struggling with something. For so many years, it was Finn reassuring you, and know you offer this too. You are learning that friendships require energy and effort and that the most beautiful friendships are about caring and kindness.  Just this morning, your Auntie Jen called to wish you a happy birthday.  You recognized her kindness and told me you want to call her on her birthday.  Then you asked if I knew what day that was so we could put in our ‘family calendar’.  {i won't let you forget oct 3rd}Oh how I love your goodness Scout!

 

This is you Scout Benjamin Gerber at 9 years old - a kind, smart and athletic boy who loves life and lives it well.  you teach me so much more than i teach you {i bet you didn't know this, but you do}. i am grateful and oh so blessed to know you.

 

 ~Your stats at age 9:

You are 53" tall and weigh 55 lbs

{your physical is in 2 weeks and I will revise if i'm off}