while finn was away....mom and scout played

with finn was enjoying 6th grade camp,
scout and i enjoyed something special too.
i proposed we have a mom/son date, as it had been
a few months, and scout got to chose the activity.
he chose belmont park, an amusement park just 10 minutes
away from home and located right on the boardwalk.
he specifically chose this place because he is now tall
enough to ride the rollercoaster that he has been so patiently
waiting for. over the years, he has watched his dad and i ride it
countless times, his aunties, his big brother and cousin soren.


his day FINALLY came.


first we rode something called the octotron.
i can't begin to describe this ride.  i just remember scout insisted on
controlling it and he kept it rolling us upside down the entire time.
i screamed, he laughed, and we both came out with crazy hair.


from here, we moved on to the giant dipper, the historical rollercoaster
that has been in pacific beach since 1925.  scout has  been waiting for YEARS
to ride this {he's been fascinated it with it since he was a toddler}, and at 51"
he made the height requirements {50"} and was literally squealing with excitement.


this time, he screamed and i laughed and we when it was over,
we bought one more tickets and rode it again. scout would have loved to have
stayed and ride it 10 more times, but it was a school night.


we ended the night eating ice cream sundaes and with smiles on our faces.
i don't think either of us will ever forget this night. 

finn: 6th grade camp

the words 'free at last, free at last, are going through my head right
now as i sit down to write tonight's blog post. my firstborn is away at
camp all week and i wonder if something similar was running through his

head on monday morning when c dropped him off at school with

his backpack, pillow, sleeping bag and his giant lifeguard hat.

he's not 18 yet, so that desire for freedom and to spread his wings

might not be there quite yet, but then again, he's finn.

{he was born a little man} 

still, that old soul was extremely excited to go be a kid and attend camp.
he was even more thrilled when he learned he would be in a cabin with his bestie.
apparently, the kids got to put in 'preferences' for bunkmates a week prior to camp.   

it's now his 3rd night away, and i'll be honest, i miss him,

but not too much. i don't mean that in a bad way....i love that

child fiercely, but i know the experiences he is getting from being

away at camp are valuable and can't be duplicated at home.

while he's having the time of his life, his younger brother is

thrilled to be an only child all week. he's being spoiled with

movie nights {at home}, a trip to in-n-out and tomorrow night, he and

i have a special night planned. he gets to chose the activity.

our home is much quieter with just one kid home, and we are all

enjoying this special time...with scout getting us all to himself and us him. 

come friday, i am sure we will all be so ready to have finn home.

{i hope he will feel the same}

~ parents were given the camp's address and a fax number so we could send

letters to our children.  i sent my first {and only} fax to finn today to say

'hi from home'.  i kept it short and sweet  as i've learned teen boys get
embarrassed quite easily.  *grin*

easter: 2016

easter came so early this year and it almost caught me by surprise!
i had tucked away a few items for baskets weeks in advance but had
forgotten the date.  c reminded me by pulling out the easter bin from the
garage rafters.  a few days before, i picked up a 3 dozen eggs and dye.
scout and i love eggs, so i wasn't worried what we would do with so many. *grin*
i decided on the same theme as their christmas ornaments this past year
since the boys' interests are still the same.  star trek for finn oliver, and
soccer for scout. once i have a theme, the rest comes easy.


since i don't do a lot of candy in the boys' baskets, i try to be creative
with what i put inside. since aunt jen wasn't with us this year, i used
her easter basket for my biggest boy, filling it with chocolate and wine.
if ice cream didn't melt, i would have included a pint of moose tracks in it.


this year, we celebrated a friend's birthday over easter brunch so we missed
the hut at the hilton. scout participated in the hunt at the tennis club the day
before which seemed to make up for it.  finn opted to stay home, reminding us
that he was 12 and in middle school. he said he would hunt eggs at home. 
whether he enjoys hunting eggs or he knows his mother enjoys hiding and
watching him hunt egg, made him say this, i couldn't say.
{either way, i'll take it}


both boys asked that the eggs be hidden 'really' well, although there was
no creative scavenger hunt like year's past with auntie jen. they received just
ONE clue to find the golden egg. overall, i believe they were satisfied with my
hiding skills. {scout doesn't even believe anymore....a bunny is even a harder sell
than santa}. as typical with scoutie, he had me hide eggs several times around the
house after the initial hunt for fun, and he insisted on hiding eggs for me too.   

family field trip to JPL

far better it is to dare mighty things,
to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure....
thank to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much,
because they live in a gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat.
- theodore roosevelt


after making a reservation 6 months earlier to tour the jet propulsion lab
located in pasadena, california, the day arrived. the whole family took off work
and school and headed a few hours north to visit a place that has been on finn's
'wish list' for a few years. 



he checked off kennedy space center after his visit there a few years ago with
the shappard men, and the three other places on his wish list to visit were: JPL,
mission control in houston and at the very top of his list is spaceX.
{they don't offer tours at the moment but i'll keep searching}.
he's always dreamed big and c and i do our best to encourage his dreams.
and this trip was one way to do this.


the day was amazing...we got to see the clean room where curiosity was assembled.
{finn's named his stuffed dog after this rover}. we also got to see mission control,
the main communication hub where jpl communicates to spacecrafts.
finn was in his happy place and the rest of us tried to take it all in.
{finn filled us in on what we were unclear about on our way home}.

spring break: 2016, part 2

for the second day of my spring break, and the last of the boys',
we decided to go bowling! christopher couldn't even resist and joined us.
we had a great time and were super competitive.

our youngest family member was a bit too competitive.
he needed to take a break away from us until he pulled himself together.
he wants to be the best at everything and no matter how much we reminded
him we had decades more experience bowling then him, he struggled.
{he's still learning how to be a good loser....}

we packed alot into those 2 days and it though it was wonderful,
it made me wish i had even more time home with them.
{i envy c and his flexible schedule}

the weekend before they started back to school,
we hosted my girlfriend's 8 year old son logan overnight.
she was in florida on both a business/pleasure trip, so i helped
out while her husband juggled their 4 year daughter.

the weather turned out to be beautiful...summer like.
with the combination of the solar water heater and keeping the cover on the pool,
the water temperature was up to 80 degrees so the boys swam for a good portion
of the day. when they weren't swimming, they played in the treehouse.

they had a great time but were ready to go back.
2 weeks was long enough for the gerblets.

spring break: 2016, part 1

this year, i was only with the boys 2 days of their 2 week break,

so for the other 8 days, c kept them busy. he shuttled them to playdates,
hosted playdates, built water and air cannons with them in the garage and
took them to a robotics competition. finn dreams of competing with HTH's
robotics team someday{he's been attending the competitions since he was in
kindergarten {we remind him it's not too far off in the future}

i also learned c created a 'training program' to get the boys conditioned for junior
lifeguards this summer. their 'training' consisted of running around the block as fast as
they can {they timed themselves and tried to beat it every day}, swimming laps in the pool,
doing jumping jacks, push-ups and sit-ups. while i sat on my butt at work, two boys
were working up a sweat. 

so during the last 2 days of their break, i took off work to spend with 'em and play a bit.
i wanted us to do something active, but bootcamp wasn't what i had in mind. 

the first morning we went hiking calvares canyon, a place a friend had recommend.
it wasn't as rugged as the boys wanted, but it was pretty.

the second day i planned on taking the boys to a surf museum,

but scout insisted we go to the san diego railroad museum since he couldn't
remember it despite that we practically lived there the first 4 years of his life.

he rediscovered it as an 8 year old and finn enjoyed playing tour guide to him

as he knows the museum like the back of his hand.  

on our way out of the museum, we passed the photographic museum,

which i have been wanting to visit for years. when i inquired about pricing and learned 

kids 12 and under were free and it was only $5 for adults, i said "let's do it"...

the artist being featured was flora garduno, from mexico city. 

a young man who worked at the desk whispered that flora was actually in the gallery

so we SAW her {which made it that much more exciting for the boys}. 

after the museum, we had lunch at the cafe gratitude,
a hip cafe right in the middle of little italy in downtown san diego.
i loved the concept of the place - every menu item is titled an affirmation
(example: lettuce wraps = happiness, spinach salad = confidence}.
when one order you, you say, 'I AM....
the boys liked that but the vegan food didn't excited them.

tween talk

youth is a time of change.
between the ages of 12 and 17, a parent can age 30 years.
- unknown

i hope today's quote is a slight exaggeration.
actually, i hope it's a huge exaggeration.
i've heard horror stories about the teen years,
but I also know a few teens that are truly amazing!
my boys have been wonderful little kids...my hope is they will
be wonderful teens too.  

I am the mother of a tween, and it won't be too long
before i have a teen! i have been trying to prepare for what's around the corner.  i know some of the techniques and skills
c and I have already established are going to helpful, but i've been reading recommended books, asking lots of questions and having discussions with moms of older boys to learn as much as i can. {us parents can't wing it}

though i don't see physical changes in finn yet, there are plenty of changes happening on the inside. finn is starting to 'detach' a bit from us.  i know this is normal as he is learning to trust himself and others outside his family unit. it's a crucial step to becoming independent and preparing to enter the adult world.  this isn't the part I struggle with.  c and i have always encouraged alot of independence...even at early ages.  as parents who work full time, we could never helicopter....we had to learn to trust and rely on others early on with our children.  this helped with everything - leaving them with sitters, with friends for playdates, sleepovers, and even putting them on a cross-country flight to their grandparents home in florida 2 summers ago.    

the trickier part for me has been watching a boy who used to talk incessantly to being a little more quiet and contemplative and to see a boy who would basically do anything we asked of him, starting pushing back.  in short, finn is starting to become his own man and that transition is different and not always easy to understand.  i struggled with this recently and I wanted to be sure to record because my tween completely threw me for a loop! 

our family attended a poetry reading for the finn and his 6th grade friends recently. before the event started, i met a wonderful mother/woman who i thought would make a perfect addition to our 'school mom's  book group. this mother told me her daughter has talked a lot about finn and that they shared a table together in their english/humanities class. this was news to me as finn had never mentioned this girl. 

the program started and i never had the chance to swap contact information with this woman. the next evening, i asked finn if he would pass my contact information along to gabby, the daughter of this mother i met. i even told him why so he understood the importance. instead of his usual "sure mom", no problem", he said "you should have gotten it when we were at the event. i'm not doing that".  i was so confused.  I pressed again and he was adamant that he would not do it. i was tired  and became flustered.  I raised my voice at him, asking WHY he was being so difficult and couldn't do such an easy thing.

scout emphatically interjected, i would do it for you mom"! i thought of course...sweet 8 year old boys will do most anything for their moms. my favorite parenting book reminds me he is in the ‘lover’ stage {oh what a wonderful stage this is}. finn, however, is the ‘individual’ stage.

c must have heard some mom/tween angst and appeared at the boys' bedroom door and gently nodded for me to come to him.  in the kitchen, out of earshot, he asked what happened and i explained what i had asked of finn and what his response was. c seemed to be much more attune to a 12 year old boys needs.  he offered a few  possible explanations, one being that he had had an extremely long day at school, was tired, was working on homework and simply didn't want to another  thing or 'burden' imposed on him. 

the other explanation, and probably the correct one, was he's a TWEEN. i had asked finn not only to talk to a girl, but to give her a note from his mother.  *gasp* apparently, this can be very uncomfortable for a 12 year old boy....especially one that is shy around girls and has had little experience with them. middle school is different than grade school. kids are changing and peers and their opinions of each other are more important than ever. finn might have been too shy or even worried what it would look to his peers had they seen him passing a note to this girl. 

GEEZ!  neither of those had occurred to me. to a 40+ woman, the request is simple and easy, but to a 12 year old boy, it's HUGE.  though finn has made the transition to a tween and into middle school, i haven't made the mental transition.  it's so new for me and i recognize this now. 

i thanked c....for his subtle way of diffusing the situation, for sharing his knowledge of boys and his patience with me. oh how I love him and will be relying on his male brain to help me navigate this new chapter in my life. there will certainly be more posts on this journey. 


~ this is the 2nd week of the boys' spring break.  their father has taken them to a robotics competition in ventura {3 hours each way} because he loves them so, built a missile launcher with them for serious neighborhood battles, shuttled the boys back and forth to playdates and has hosted numerous ones at the house.  tomorrow, i'm going to give c a break so he can get some work done {there are bills to pay he reminds me}.   I have some fun activities planned....things we haven't done together in quite some time!  I hope to post some.

this is my hair

i wanted to dedicate a post to HAIR because if you are one of the few lucky
{or unlucky ones depending how you view it} that was born with LOTS of hair,
you understand how much hair impacts your life.

todd parr, a fun children's author/illustrator, wrote a book dedicated to HAIR that always
made me smile when i read to the boys. they were little then and didn't have much hair

to think about at the time, but now that they are older and their 'mature' hair has come in, 

they've started to notice their hair. well, finn just barely notices.

recently, the boys' hair had grown pretty long. our weekends were busy with activities

and we simply couldn't find a window to get them both in for haircuts. as finn's hair got
longer, it become limp and stuck to his head. scout's hair grew thicker and bigger, and 

the wave in his hair became more noticeable.  the kid has LOTS of hair.

finn takes after his father with the 'gerber' hair, and scout has the 'shappard' hair like mom.
men over the age of 30, would love this, but my 8 year old son does not.  he simply doesn't like

the heaviness and the wave of his thick hair and it was no consolation when i told him he will
never be bald or have a receding hairline when he's older. he seemed unimpressed that he will
have a full head of hair like his grandpa and uncles on the shappard side.  

though i don't have hair quite as thick or curly as my younger sister, i have ALOT of hair,
and can feel for young scout.  thick hair is a blessing and a curse and i'll share why.

it's a blessing because thick hair is voluminous and is associated with health and youth.

that's a good thing when one is 'middle aged' and those signs of aging start to creep up.
another benefit is most men (including my husband) seem to like lots of hair. it's feminine
and maybe it reminds them of the girlfriends of their youth...fresh faced and natural.
another benefit, thick hair also looks fantastic in braids and buns and it doesn't have to
be washed every day or even every other other day.  

here are the cons of thick hair: it takes longer for everything: to wash, dry, cut, highlight
and style. a visit to the salon takes me no less than 3 hours, and that's by a professional who 

has 15+ years of experience and can do foils and cut hair in her sleep. i could sit in a
beginner's stylist's chair for well over 4 hours. i have and it's no fun.   

having thick hair is more difficult to handle in general. if you go to bed with it damp,
it's still damp 8 hours later when you wake. if it's curly and you don't tame {smooth it}
before you go to bed, you can literally scare your family when you awake.
last, thick hair requires lots more product - conditioners, serums, etc. add up.
in summary thick hair = more time and money  

HAIR - love it or hate it, we are stuck with what we inherited.
we can alter it with chemicals  and cut it in new ways, but in the end, our natural hair
always comes through. someday i vow to stop paying an arm and a leg to highlight my hair,
but i'm not quite there yet.

at this moment, i just need to figure out a hair cut/style to help scout manage his mane.

st patty's day: 2016

a few months ago while speeding through target, scout saw st. patty's day decor
and reminded me to buy lucky charms for breakfast.  of course i said.  i wouldn't forget it.

it's the only time of the year i buy this cereal, so the boys look forward to it every year. 

discussion about st patty's day reminded me to jump online and sign up for our

annual st patty's day run.  this year, the race was the weekend before st. pattys day,
and finn had a surf camping trip so he missed it. it was a little strange not having him
with us.  this would have been his 8th year running it with me since they start at age 5.
{scout was happy to announce this was his 4th year}.

finn didn't seem bothered at all. he was looking forward to surfing, hiking and roasting
marshmallows with new friends. i learned the middle and high school surf teams went,
but because of the age differences, they had them at adjacent campsites.  c went as a
chaperon which finn loved, and it seems he and the dads had as much fun as all the kids.  

on the morning of the race, scout and i dressed in green, put shamrock stickers on our

cheeks and drove 5 minutes away to mission bay.  scout wasn't 100% when he woke up

and asked if we could do the 2 mile run instead of the 4 mile like we were planning. 

no problemo i said. i hadn't run but a handful of times in the last few months so short

nd sweet was fine with me. we made our way closer to the starting line, then ran into two
new friends i met at a recent 'game night' my neighbor hosted and she snapped a photo of

us.  20 minutes later, we crossed the finish line, were given cute medals and ate a piece of

pizza. {we left the green beer to the college kids}. 

oh how i love this run!  

everyone is always so happy, dressed in costume or at the very least, wearing green, 

and it's along beautiful mission bay.  the best part is, it's become a fun tradition.

i am sure there will be years when both boys have other activities that pulls them away,
but until that day, i'll be with my green team....or at least some of 'em.

the real st. patrick's day fell mid-week and the boys and i dressed
in green. finn was lucky to find a green collared shirt in his closet.
whew! tee shirts arent allowed at his middle school and if c and i
had our say, we'd love to send the boys to school in uniforms - it's
easy and is one less distraction for kids {and parents}.

scout was the luckiest of us all as his school chose st patty's day
as their 'pajama day'.  he scored wearing his green soccer pajamas
which  made him extra happy. despite my being a little 'irish', i didn't
prepare a traditional irish meal for dinner but i swear i will next year.
i've never cooked hash in my life, but i'm willing to give it a go.

~ i almost forgot to share that while our family was running and
camping, my dear momma friend was frantically signing up my
boys for jr. lifeguards. sign-ups took place on-line at specific times
for various age groups. spots fill up within minutes so it was stressful.
i was thrilled to finish the race to see a text from her announcing 'both
boys got in'. yay!!  summer is just around the corner!

nerds and geeks

a few weeks back, i overheard finn and scout discussing whether they were Geeks or Nerds.
they were discussing this in earnest and with much enthusiasm...insisting which one they were
and sharing reasons why.  i just sat back listening and smiling.

later in the week, i mentioned their conversation to a coworker, a proud engineer and nerd.
he chuckled and forwarded this link to me which i forwarded to my children and to c.
i found it highly entertaining and interesting.

http://m.wikihow.com/Tell-the-Difference-Between-Nerds-and-Geeks

after reading this thoroughly, i would classify our firstborn as a geek,
but there is some crossover because as #5 points out, nerds are typically interested
in STEM related subjects and well, that's finn....a huge science and space lover.

i wonder what finn would say he is. {i must remember to ask him}. 
though scout is highly intelligent, and scored higher on the IQ test than his brother,
i wouldn't consider him to be a geek or a nerd. he's far too well rounded.
he's better described as a 'renaissance man'.  {that's for another post}

from what i gathered, scout really wants to be considered a nerd or a geek,
so if he my youngest chooses to give himself one of these labels, this mom will support it.

what a wonderful time to live...when being a geek or a nerd is actually not a bad thing.
i love that the boys go to a school where being smart, is encouraged and celebrated.

all this talk reminded me of a book my 'serious' book group read a year or so ago. it's titled:
the geeks shall inherit the earth: popularity, quirk theory, and why outsiders thrive after high school.  

it was fascinating...and discusses why these people are our bosses today.