Scout is Twelve

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy, when skies are grey. 
You’ll never know dear, how much I love you, oh please don't take my sunshine away.

Our youngest family member is TWELVE today and as I watched him run through the house finding clues scattered about for a scavenger hunt his Aunt Jen so thoughtfully and lovingly created for his special day, this song came into my head. It was a favorite of Scout’s for many years. He’d ask me to sing it to him every night before we would read when he was little and sometimes I'd make up verses with his name in the song. He loved it. I no longer sing out loud to him, but the evenings are still special. We catch up on the day and he shares whatever is on his mind, then we read together. I know these days won’t last forever, but if I'm lucky, I'm hoping for a few more.

Scout, as my tradition continues, here are 12 things I want to remember about you at age 12.

1. Soccer is still a love of yours  Your love of soccer hasn’t waned at all over the years.  If anything, it continues to grow.  Driving home from practice one evening, you told me you couldn’t imagine life without soccer. I believe that’s true for you. You play 3-4x a week and you watch professional soccer every chance you get. You love the game and everything about it – the competition, the skill involved, the physicality of the game, and being part of a team. In the early part of the Summer, your soccer club gave players 4 weeks off.  By the end of the second week, you told me you were feeling ‘out of shape’ and asked if I’d run around our neighborhood with you. I agreed, although not excited about it as our neighborhood is hilly. As expected, you left me in the dust. I remember the days and years of running slower so you could stay with me, and then running side by side.  Not anymore.  Soccer had made you not just happy, but super fit. You can run forever it seems before getting tired.
   You continue to play with Albion Soccer Club (ASC), the top competitive club here in San Diego and are thrilled that your best friend, Spencer, tried out and made it on your team. You have moved up a level from last year, and are now on the Boys 2007 NPL (National Players League). This Club requires us to travel outside of San Diego a bit which isn’t always fun or easy for your family, but we want to support you in what you love. Your dad and I aren’t those parents who push their kids to play something competitively. We enjoy our weekends and would have been perfectly happy attending local games and saving money, but you wanted more. Soccer if YOUR thing and we want to support you. When and if you want to be done, we will be ok with this, but will ask you to replace it with some type of physical activity. Your dad and I would love to play a little more tennis with you. 
2.  You enjoy school
   It’s Summer and you are out of school and thoroughly enjoying your break. I haven’t heard you say you are ready to go back to school like you used to when you were in elementary school.  Still, you do enjoy school, and especially enjoyed your first year of Middle School. I asked what you enjoyed the most and you said the Freedom – not having to stand in lines all the time, being able to go to the restroom without getting permission (just letting them know), and a few other things I can’t think of right now. Academically, school still comes easy for you…it always has. You take after your dad in this way, and my brothers, your Uncle Randy and Uncle Todd. There is one class you don’t enjoy…art. You said you would skip it if you could. You did say you 'appreciate' art which I loved hearing. What happened to that little boy that loved to color and paint as a preschooler I ask?
   
   Your favorite subject is still math and has been for the last few years. You enjoy finding multiple ways to solve problems…sometimes a half dozen more than you’ve been asked for by your teacher. Your teachers do their best to challenge you so that you continue your love of learning.  You aren’t even a teen, but you are slightly concerned about what you are going to study in college. Finn told you that you should start 'thinking' about it and though it can’t hurt to ‘think’ about it, I tried to assure you there is lots of time. You are only just 12. By high school, it would be nice to have an idea of what field you would like to go to. It can help make your college years more productive and meaningful.
3. You are a kind kid
   This is my absolutele Favorite thing about you Scout!! You have a BIG heart and genuinely care about people. Caring comes naturally to you and people are drawn to you because of this and your authenticity. You have lots of friends, a handful of very close friends and one best friend. I watch you interact with all of them and I see how you pick up on subtle things…their expressions, body language, etc. How you ask them about things that you don't necessarily enjoy but you know are important to them. Maybe this is because you spend a lot of time with them and know them so well, but more than this, I really think you pay attention, and genuinely care to connect. This serves not just your friendships well, but our family too. You look for very specific ways to show you care about each of us. You know each of our love languages.
4.  You absolutely adore our dog and she loves you
   Bonita is loved by the entire family, but it’s clear, you are her boy Scout. I found a quote recently that said “everyone thinks they have the best dog in the world…and they’re right”.  It’s SO true….our animals, like our children, become our absolute favorite. I can’t get over how quickly our fur baby has grown to love us and us her. We are all completely smitten by her! It’s been just over a year now since you picked her out of the little yard where all the rescue pups were, and we just threw her a 3^rd birthday celebration at Kate Sessions Park. You worried about her not being “comfortable” when I tried putting a birthday hat on her (again your big heart). She would only wear it for seconds anyway until she pulled it off. You are responsible with her…taking her for a walk every morning, and afternoon (this summer) and sometimes in the evenings if Finn or I are gone. Though Bonita has taken to sleeping at the foot of your parent’s bed most nights, if momma isn’t home until late, she will climb in bed with you.
5. Your appetite is starting to get biggerYou are growing and have started eating more. You want larger portions and if I don’t give them to you, you come back asking for more. You are growing and though you don’t recognize it, your dad and I do. Your favorite meal is still an In-n-Out Burger – double double cheese, and you still love butter popcorn which I only allow on weekends because you would eat it every night if this rule didn’t exist. You still love chocolate, and your favorite chocolate bar is Hershey Cookies and Creme. As you’ve gotten older you are starting to try more foods which makes life easier for everyone. I remind you and Finn that food should be approached like life - be adventurous with it. Unless you have a crazy allergy, try everything. You’ve tried sushi again since it’s your besties favorite. You still don't love it, but you hey, you stay open to new kinds. *cheer*
6.  You have good friendsYour bestie, Spencer, has been living abroad for the past 3 years, but he is home now and life is better than ever for you. You’ve missed him, but you two would use Google Chat every week over the last 3 years, and of course you visited once and he’s been back to San Diego to visit a few times. Though no one could ever replace Spencer, you developed other strong friendships. Your dad and I admire that you gravitate towards kids who are fairly mature and who make good decisions. I’ve learned over the years, to let you decide who your friend group will be because you have shown me that you chose good friends. You remind me sometimes that I forced you to invite a few kids to one of your birthday parties years ago…even at your prompting me not to invite them. Because I liked their mother (or father), I just assumed they’d behave ‘well enough’.  You were adamant they wouldn’t and that I was making a mistake, but I didn’t listen. Well, I learned from that crazy experience to listen to you Scout. You have good judgement. I only hope your awareness continues through your teen years. You and Spencer have been great friends to and for each other since you were in first grade, and if the last 5 years of any indicator of what’s to come, your friendship might just last a lifetime. Who knows, maybe you two will be each other’s Best Man someday. For now, I just wish for what every mother wants, that you surround yourself with friends who are kind, share similar goals and who are positive influences in your life.
7.  You love sleepovers
   You are a social kid and want to be around your friends alot. That means you invite your friends over every weekend or want to sleepover at their home every weekend. During the Summer, your dad and I are very generous. You've probably had 2-3 sleepovers a week for the past 2 1/2 months. I feel like we have a 3rd or even a 4th son when Finn has friends sleeping over at the same time. I stock up on lots of snacks but make sure your friends eat a healthy dinner at least so parents will allow them to return. I remember your Grandpa Shappard not understanding the sleepover thing when I was a young girl. When I would ask, he would reply with something like "you spent the ENTIRE day with your friend, why does she have to sleep over". Grandma would say, she just does and would usually talk him into it. With 7 kids at home or even 5, I get it now. I'd likely say the same thing. Because you are one of 2 kids, your dad and I are alot more open to sleepovers. The added benefit - it's a great way for me to get to know your friends better and for their parents to know you. 
8. You love video games
   This is literally the ONLY thing that causes friction between you and me right now. For a myriad of reasons, you boys love video games…the stimulation, challenge and competition and now, the social aspect of it since you can play games in ‘real time’ with your friends a nd talk to them. Your dad and I still don’t (and won’t) get any gaming consoles, but you and your brother play games on your computers. We let you play video games, but we limit 'recreational' time to 2 hours a day...this includes video games. There are days when we get busy and don’t keep a pulse on it and have found you on it hours later. This causes problems as we don’t want to police you and Finn. We want you boys to have the discipline to do this on your own. Somedays you do a great job, setting a timer and ‘announcing to us’ that you’ll be gaming until a specific time, and then get off at that time, but not always. Summers are harder and since I'm not home.  Your dad has to oversee this and it's not always easy. He's much more patient than I am.
9. You desperately want a phone
   You’ve been asking for a phone since last year when you started middle school (6^th grade). You were 11 and told your dad and that ALL the kids had phones and that you think you were the ONLY kid who didn’t have one. I didn’t believe this and did a little investigating.  It appears the majority of 6^th graders do have phones, but our family rule is you boys could get one when you turned 13. Unlike kids who bike or walk to school, you and your brother are driven to school every day by your dad. Since you don’t attend our neighborhood schools and do this, we don’t see a real need. You’ve made a case for needing one since you play soccer and get dropped off at the field, and I reminded you that if everyone has a phone, then you can easily borrow one, and call me if you need to. You did this once when I was 5 minutes late. You borrowed your coach’s phone and I told you I was right around the corner. I asked you once what you would do with a phone the majority of the time, and you answered honestly and said, I’d probably play games. I appreciated your honest Scout. I know you well and you don’t need one. I know some parents buy their kids phones out of guilt or are afraid they will be “left out socially” but NOPE. Your dad and I won’t fall into this. We believe a part of your success is because we are stricter with technology than most parents. Sure, it would have been  easy to give you an iPad when you were little to keep you entertained, but instead, we decided against this and gave you book. We are convinced your love of books and your ability to focus, is because you were given books at a young age, instead of games or movies. Hang in there Scout. You will get a phone when you become a teenager.
10.  You enjoy earning money
    Your dad and I don’t give you and Finn allowance, but we allow you both to earn money by doing things above and beyond your normal household chores. A few weeks ago, you asked how you could earn some money. In the past, some of chores included picking up leaves from our Magnolia tree, swiffering the floors or dusting all the books in our library. You are saving money to buy a new graphic/video card for your computer as the one you have is really old and slow. You had Spencer over and I suggested washing the two giant glass sliding doors that overlook the backyard. You and Spencer grabbed Windex, two rolls of paper towels and a stool and went to work. It was a HUGE job that took probably 2 hours, and you earned $5 apiece. I was a happy mamma as this is one chore I’ll gladly pay someone to do. You also earn money by watching our neighbors chickens.  You are also in the middle of getting your certification to be a line referee at soccer games and tournaments. You’ve been talking about this for years as they pay anywhere from $12 to $15 a game. Since you love the game and already know all about it, it’s an easy way for you to make extra money. By tomorrow, you will have completed the 18 on-line tests, and then will have to take a test on the field with a senior referee.  I’m so proud of you Scout.
11.  You enjoy playing the pianoYou’ve been playing piano for about 5 years now and though your days are full, you still squeeze in practicing a little bit each day…or almost every day. I used to insist you play a specific amount of time, but I stopped doing this. You play when you can and some days it’s 5 minutes and others day you might play for an hour. I just remind you that piano lessons aren’t free…that playing the piano is a privilege that many don’t have and wish they did. I think you understand, and if you don’t fully now, you will someday.  Music is fun for you, but it’s not your passion. I know this. I’m just happy you play. Currently, you are learning to play This is Me from the musical, The Greatest Showman. It’s a tough song to play…fast paced and has your hands bouncing all over the keyboard, but you chose it.  It’s been about 3 months since you started learning it and though you have the notes down now, you are working on the tricky timing.  I love listening to you play Scout and enjoy having music fill our home. I also love singing alongside you….though you don’t like me doing this when you are first learning a song because it “messes up your concentration”.  I understand this and try to refrain, but it’s hard as I love to sing out loud. I’m looking forward to recording you and sharing the song you’ve been on working on with family and friends who support you in your music.
12. A few random things about you
    You like to style your hair…especially before school. You typically add a little gel or styling wax to your thick hair and it holds it in place for the day.
    You love wearing tee shirts, soccer jerseys and fuzzy pajamas to bed. It’s summer time and you still put on your fuzzy pajamas after you get out of the shower or bath. You take them off to sleep, and then put on again in the mornings. The mornings can be cool in San Diego, but in mid-Summer it’s not THAT cool. You tell me you LOVE being cozy. I get this. No matter what age we are, it’s nice being cozy and having soft fabric against our skin.
    You also love baths. You are my mini me in alot of ways, and this is one of them. After soccer practice and soccer games, you will literally draw yourself a hot bath to relax in. It’s one of your favorite things. If you are in a rush, you will shower, but the tub is one of your happy places.

I am grateful for SO many things you bring to my life and into our family Scout – your passion, your sense of humor, your love of learning and for life and your BIG ol' heart.  You make our home a more beautiful place and we are all grateful for you every single day. I can’t promise you I’ll be here for the rest of your life, but I can promise to love you for the rest of mine.

Always and forever,

Mom

Your stats at age 12:

You are 57” tall and weigh 72 pounds.

You wear a size 10 in jeans and shirts (thought they are both a bit big but 8s are too small).
You wear a size 4 shoe.