Scout is Twelve

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy, when skies are grey. 
You’ll never know dear, how much I love you, oh please don't take my sunshine away.

Our youngest family member is TWELVE today and as I watched him run through the house finding clues scattered about for a scavenger hunt his Aunt Jen so thoughtfully and lovingly created for his special day, this song came into my head. It was a favorite of Scout’s for many years. He’d ask me to sing it to him every night before we would read when he was little and sometimes I'd make up verses with his name in the song. He loved it. I no longer sing out loud to him, but the evenings are still special. We catch up on the day and he shares whatever is on his mind, then we read together. I know these days won’t last forever, but if I'm lucky, I'm hoping for a few more.

Scout, as my tradition continues, here are 12 things I want to remember about you at age 12.

1. Soccer is still a love of yours  Your love of soccer hasn’t waned at all over the years.  If anything, it continues to grow.  Driving home from practice one evening, you told me you couldn’t imagine life without soccer. I believe that’s true for you. You play 3-4x a week and you watch professional soccer every chance you get. You love the game and everything about it – the competition, the skill involved, the physicality of the game, and being part of a team. In the early part of the Summer, your soccer club gave players 4 weeks off.  By the end of the second week, you told me you were feeling ‘out of shape’ and asked if I’d run around our neighborhood with you. I agreed, although not excited about it as our neighborhood is hilly. As expected, you left me in the dust. I remember the days and years of running slower so you could stay with me, and then running side by side.  Not anymore.  Soccer had made you not just happy, but super fit. You can run forever it seems before getting tired.
   You continue to play with Albion Soccer Club (ASC), the top competitive club here in San Diego and are thrilled that your best friend, Spencer, tried out and made it on your team. You have moved up a level from last year, and are now on the Boys 2007 NPL (National Players League). This Club requires us to travel outside of San Diego a bit which isn’t always fun or easy for your family, but we want to support you in what you love. Your dad and I aren’t those parents who push their kids to play something competitively. We enjoy our weekends and would have been perfectly happy attending local games and saving money, but you wanted more. Soccer if YOUR thing and we want to support you. When and if you want to be done, we will be ok with this, but will ask you to replace it with some type of physical activity. Your dad and I would love to play a little more tennis with you. 
2.  You enjoy school
   It’s Summer and you are out of school and thoroughly enjoying your break. I haven’t heard you say you are ready to go back to school like you used to when you were in elementary school.  Still, you do enjoy school, and especially enjoyed your first year of Middle School. I asked what you enjoyed the most and you said the Freedom – not having to stand in lines all the time, being able to go to the restroom without getting permission (just letting them know), and a few other things I can’t think of right now. Academically, school still comes easy for you…it always has. You take after your dad in this way, and my brothers, your Uncle Randy and Uncle Todd. There is one class you don’t enjoy…art. You said you would skip it if you could. You did say you 'appreciate' art which I loved hearing. What happened to that little boy that loved to color and paint as a preschooler I ask?
   
   Your favorite subject is still math and has been for the last few years. You enjoy finding multiple ways to solve problems…sometimes a half dozen more than you’ve been asked for by your teacher. Your teachers do their best to challenge you so that you continue your love of learning.  You aren’t even a teen, but you are slightly concerned about what you are going to study in college. Finn told you that you should start 'thinking' about it and though it can’t hurt to ‘think’ about it, I tried to assure you there is lots of time. You are only just 12. By high school, it would be nice to have an idea of what field you would like to go to. It can help make your college years more productive and meaningful.
3. You are a kind kid
   This is my absolutele Favorite thing about you Scout!! You have a BIG heart and genuinely care about people. Caring comes naturally to you and people are drawn to you because of this and your authenticity. You have lots of friends, a handful of very close friends and one best friend. I watch you interact with all of them and I see how you pick up on subtle things…their expressions, body language, etc. How you ask them about things that you don't necessarily enjoy but you know are important to them. Maybe this is because you spend a lot of time with them and know them so well, but more than this, I really think you pay attention, and genuinely care to connect. This serves not just your friendships well, but our family too. You look for very specific ways to show you care about each of us. You know each of our love languages.
4.  You absolutely adore our dog and she loves you
   Bonita is loved by the entire family, but it’s clear, you are her boy Scout. I found a quote recently that said “everyone thinks they have the best dog in the world…and they’re right”.  It’s SO true….our animals, like our children, become our absolute favorite. I can’t get over how quickly our fur baby has grown to love us and us her. We are all completely smitten by her! It’s been just over a year now since you picked her out of the little yard where all the rescue pups were, and we just threw her a 3^rd birthday celebration at Kate Sessions Park. You worried about her not being “comfortable” when I tried putting a birthday hat on her (again your big heart). She would only wear it for seconds anyway until she pulled it off. You are responsible with her…taking her for a walk every morning, and afternoon (this summer) and sometimes in the evenings if Finn or I are gone. Though Bonita has taken to sleeping at the foot of your parent’s bed most nights, if momma isn’t home until late, she will climb in bed with you.
5. Your appetite is starting to get biggerYou are growing and have started eating more. You want larger portions and if I don’t give them to you, you come back asking for more. You are growing and though you don’t recognize it, your dad and I do. Your favorite meal is still an In-n-Out Burger – double double cheese, and you still love butter popcorn which I only allow on weekends because you would eat it every night if this rule didn’t exist. You still love chocolate, and your favorite chocolate bar is Hershey Cookies and Creme. As you’ve gotten older you are starting to try more foods which makes life easier for everyone. I remind you and Finn that food should be approached like life - be adventurous with it. Unless you have a crazy allergy, try everything. You’ve tried sushi again since it’s your besties favorite. You still don't love it, but you hey, you stay open to new kinds. *cheer*
6.  You have good friendsYour bestie, Spencer, has been living abroad for the past 3 years, but he is home now and life is better than ever for you. You’ve missed him, but you two would use Google Chat every week over the last 3 years, and of course you visited once and he’s been back to San Diego to visit a few times. Though no one could ever replace Spencer, you developed other strong friendships. Your dad and I admire that you gravitate towards kids who are fairly mature and who make good decisions. I’ve learned over the years, to let you decide who your friend group will be because you have shown me that you chose good friends. You remind me sometimes that I forced you to invite a few kids to one of your birthday parties years ago…even at your prompting me not to invite them. Because I liked their mother (or father), I just assumed they’d behave ‘well enough’.  You were adamant they wouldn’t and that I was making a mistake, but I didn’t listen. Well, I learned from that crazy experience to listen to you Scout. You have good judgement. I only hope your awareness continues through your teen years. You and Spencer have been great friends to and for each other since you were in first grade, and if the last 5 years of any indicator of what’s to come, your friendship might just last a lifetime. Who knows, maybe you two will be each other’s Best Man someday. For now, I just wish for what every mother wants, that you surround yourself with friends who are kind, share similar goals and who are positive influences in your life.
7.  You love sleepovers
   You are a social kid and want to be around your friends alot. That means you invite your friends over every weekend or want to sleepover at their home every weekend. During the Summer, your dad and I are very generous. You've probably had 2-3 sleepovers a week for the past 2 1/2 months. I feel like we have a 3rd or even a 4th son when Finn has friends sleeping over at the same time. I stock up on lots of snacks but make sure your friends eat a healthy dinner at least so parents will allow them to return. I remember your Grandpa Shappard not understanding the sleepover thing when I was a young girl. When I would ask, he would reply with something like "you spent the ENTIRE day with your friend, why does she have to sleep over". Grandma would say, she just does and would usually talk him into it. With 7 kids at home or even 5, I get it now. I'd likely say the same thing. Because you are one of 2 kids, your dad and I are alot more open to sleepovers. The added benefit - it's a great way for me to get to know your friends better and for their parents to know you. 
8. You love video games
   This is literally the ONLY thing that causes friction between you and me right now. For a myriad of reasons, you boys love video games…the stimulation, challenge and competition and now, the social aspect of it since you can play games in ‘real time’ with your friends a nd talk to them. Your dad and I still don’t (and won’t) get any gaming consoles, but you and your brother play games on your computers. We let you play video games, but we limit 'recreational' time to 2 hours a day...this includes video games. There are days when we get busy and don’t keep a pulse on it and have found you on it hours later. This causes problems as we don’t want to police you and Finn. We want you boys to have the discipline to do this on your own. Somedays you do a great job, setting a timer and ‘announcing to us’ that you’ll be gaming until a specific time, and then get off at that time, but not always. Summers are harder and since I'm not home.  Your dad has to oversee this and it's not always easy. He's much more patient than I am.
9. You desperately want a phone
   You’ve been asking for a phone since last year when you started middle school (6^th grade). You were 11 and told your dad and that ALL the kids had phones and that you think you were the ONLY kid who didn’t have one. I didn’t believe this and did a little investigating.  It appears the majority of 6^th graders do have phones, but our family rule is you boys could get one when you turned 13. Unlike kids who bike or walk to school, you and your brother are driven to school every day by your dad. Since you don’t attend our neighborhood schools and do this, we don’t see a real need. You’ve made a case for needing one since you play soccer and get dropped off at the field, and I reminded you that if everyone has a phone, then you can easily borrow one, and call me if you need to. You did this once when I was 5 minutes late. You borrowed your coach’s phone and I told you I was right around the corner. I asked you once what you would do with a phone the majority of the time, and you answered honestly and said, I’d probably play games. I appreciated your honest Scout. I know you well and you don’t need one. I know some parents buy their kids phones out of guilt or are afraid they will be “left out socially” but NOPE. Your dad and I won’t fall into this. We believe a part of your success is because we are stricter with technology than most parents. Sure, it would have been  easy to give you an iPad when you were little to keep you entertained, but instead, we decided against this and gave you book. We are convinced your love of books and your ability to focus, is because you were given books at a young age, instead of games or movies. Hang in there Scout. You will get a phone when you become a teenager.
10.  You enjoy earning money
    Your dad and I don’t give you and Finn allowance, but we allow you both to earn money by doing things above and beyond your normal household chores. A few weeks ago, you asked how you could earn some money. In the past, some of chores included picking up leaves from our Magnolia tree, swiffering the floors or dusting all the books in our library. You are saving money to buy a new graphic/video card for your computer as the one you have is really old and slow. You had Spencer over and I suggested washing the two giant glass sliding doors that overlook the backyard. You and Spencer grabbed Windex, two rolls of paper towels and a stool and went to work. It was a HUGE job that took probably 2 hours, and you earned $5 apiece. I was a happy mamma as this is one chore I’ll gladly pay someone to do. You also earn money by watching our neighbors chickens.  You are also in the middle of getting your certification to be a line referee at soccer games and tournaments. You’ve been talking about this for years as they pay anywhere from $12 to $15 a game. Since you love the game and already know all about it, it’s an easy way for you to make extra money. By tomorrow, you will have completed the 18 on-line tests, and then will have to take a test on the field with a senior referee.  I’m so proud of you Scout.
11.  You enjoy playing the pianoYou’ve been playing piano for about 5 years now and though your days are full, you still squeeze in practicing a little bit each day…or almost every day. I used to insist you play a specific amount of time, but I stopped doing this. You play when you can and some days it’s 5 minutes and others day you might play for an hour. I just remind you that piano lessons aren’t free…that playing the piano is a privilege that many don’t have and wish they did. I think you understand, and if you don’t fully now, you will someday.  Music is fun for you, but it’s not your passion. I know this. I’m just happy you play. Currently, you are learning to play This is Me from the musical, The Greatest Showman. It’s a tough song to play…fast paced and has your hands bouncing all over the keyboard, but you chose it.  It’s been about 3 months since you started learning it and though you have the notes down now, you are working on the tricky timing.  I love listening to you play Scout and enjoy having music fill our home. I also love singing alongside you….though you don’t like me doing this when you are first learning a song because it “messes up your concentration”.  I understand this and try to refrain, but it’s hard as I love to sing out loud. I’m looking forward to recording you and sharing the song you’ve been on working on with family and friends who support you in your music.
12. A few random things about you
    You like to style your hair…especially before school. You typically add a little gel or styling wax to your thick hair and it holds it in place for the day.
    You love wearing tee shirts, soccer jerseys and fuzzy pajamas to bed. It’s summer time and you still put on your fuzzy pajamas after you get out of the shower or bath. You take them off to sleep, and then put on again in the mornings. The mornings can be cool in San Diego, but in mid-Summer it’s not THAT cool. You tell me you LOVE being cozy. I get this. No matter what age we are, it’s nice being cozy and having soft fabric against our skin.
    You also love baths. You are my mini me in alot of ways, and this is one of them. After soccer practice and soccer games, you will literally draw yourself a hot bath to relax in. It’s one of your favorite things. If you are in a rush, you will shower, but the tub is one of your happy places.

I am grateful for SO many things you bring to my life and into our family Scout – your passion, your sense of humor, your love of learning and for life and your BIG ol' heart.  You make our home a more beautiful place and we are all grateful for you every single day. I can’t promise you I’ll be here for the rest of your life, but I can promise to love you for the rest of mine.

Always and forever,

Mom

Your stats at age 12:

You are 57” tall and weigh 72 pounds.

You wear a size 10 in jeans and shirts (thought they are both a bit big but 8s are too small).
You wear a size 4 shoe. 

finn is fifteen

We’re all made of star stuff.

~ Carl Sagan

I found this quote years ago when I was looking into more about Carl Sagan and it intrigued me and seemed appropriate for Finn’s 15^th birthday. He has always been a star that shines bright, and his fascination with our universe just makes it even more appropriate.

I didn’t and still really don’t understand the science behind this quote, but I did learn this is something Sagan said in one of his Cosmos episodes. I did some investigating and here’s what I learned. Sagan’s statement sums up the fact that the carbon, nitrogen and oxygen atoms in our bodies as well as atoms of all other heavy elements, were created in previous generations of stars over 4.5 billion years ago. Because humans and every other animal, as well as most of the matter on Earth contain these elements, we are literally made of star stuff.  Finn probably could have explained this to me, but these days he isn’t home much and when he is, he doesn’t talk much. He is a typical teenage boy, and if you’ve had or have one, you know all about this.

Finn,

In keeping with my tradition, today I am recording 15 things I want to remember about you at this time in your life. I know some of these are from my perspective, and may not be completely accurate or agreed on by you, but this is how your mother sees you at 15.

1. You started high school this year!

Yep, it’s CRAZY to think of, but it’s true! You are in the 9^th grade and officially in high school.  You have been waiting for this for so very long Finn. Instead of staying at the HTH Point Campus you’ve been at since you were in Kindergarten, you decided to move to a new Campus closer to home, though still not within walking distance unfortunately. Your school, High Tech High (HTH), purchased a large Christian private school and are in the middle of renovating it and creating a new K-12 Campus. It’s exciting and though most of the Campus is still under construction, a few buildings were completed this past Summer and HTH accepted 120 incoming 9^th graders. Most of the students are brand new to the school and had to go through the lottery system to get accepted, but you were part of a few from the Point Loma Campus who asked to transfer Campuses.  You were accepted and will be the FIRST graduating class at High Tech High Mesa. Pretty cool!  This was completely your decision, and we questioned if you’d be ok at a school with no upper classman your entire 4 years, but you were ok with this. We know one of the reasons you chose this Campus is the school's Robotics Team, the Holy Cows, would be meeting here since this new school has more square footage and the space to house the Team and all it's equipment.  

2. You joined your high school's robotics team.

This might be the very best part of joining school exiting than starting High School. You would have joined The Holy Cows when you were in elementary school if they’d have allowed it. You’ve been attending robotics competitions and cheering on HTH’s Holy Cows team since you were in Kindergarten. You’ve always loved to build and have been fasinated with all things electronic, so your dad made sure to keep you inspired and taking you to robotics competitions was one of MANY ways he did it. I used to go to some of the competitions, but I don’t love robotics enough to watch other children compete.  When YOU compete of course, I will be there in the stands cheeering you.

The Holy Cows have become a huge part of your life Finn. You are in the middle of ‘Build Season right now which means for 6 weeks, you are basically living at the school or the machine shop when you aren’t in school.  You spend 8 hours a day every weekend at school and are there after school until 8pm every night. You officially have Fridays off.  You squeeze in any homework you have during your lunch hour and in the evenings after you come home.  Your dedication is amazing and inspiring. More than anything, your dad and I want our children to find something that makes you happy and you’ve found it Finn.  You also found your people.

A few months ago when we were alone in the car, you said “I finally met people that are like me”.  You were so happy and I was too. I remember you in tears when you were in 3^rd grade telling me that no one likes the things you like. That no one was like you”.  My heart broke for you.  You were different….and we hadn’t come across any children your age who shared your passion or interests and your knowledge of those things. It’s rare and we assured you high school and college is where you would find your tribe...your people. You have, and life is wonderful for you.

3. You got a dog this year.
We are now a proud family of Bonita, an adorable salt and pepper Miniature Schnauzer! For years we had been talking about getting a dog, and with your dad working from home, and you and Scout able ot take on some of the care of a dog, it seemed like a great time to add a furry baby to our lives. You were busy on the Saturday morning when we went to look for a rescue dog, but Scout was free and wouldn’t have missed the opportunity for the world. We were specifically looking for a female dog, since I was so outnumbered at home with males, and Scout picked out a sweet girl named Bonita, who was shaking and hiding in a corner when he discovered her.  I was hesitant at first about her. We are an active family, with friends coming in and out of our home, and I worried this dog might not adjust to our lifestyyle. We did the 'foster to adopt' program so if she didn't work out, we had 4 weeks to return her. Within a few weeks, she started to adjust. You love her as much as all of us, but you aren’t home a lot these days, so she misses you and greets you at the door with a small howl which his her way to say 'hello, i'm so glad you are home'.  Summer is when she gets lots of time with you and your brother and well, I don't know what more to say other than she has brought so much JOY into our family. We all speak to her in high voices and we all shower her with love.  It's like having a baby in our home. You even tolerate it when I dressed her up for Halloween.

4. You keep outgrowing your clothes.

Last year, you were the same height as me on your birthday – 5’-3". This year, I have to look UP to look into your eyes which means you are now a few inches taller than me now. You told me you are no longer the smallest boy in your grade which you are quite happy about. I knew you wouldn't be. You aren't tall, but I knew you wouldn't be 5' as an adult male. You didn’t have as big of a growth as you did your previous year, but you are growing and will continue to grow for quite some time. All of your size 12 jeans are too short and you've outgrown all your size 12 shirts as well.  This is PROOF you are still growing Finn Oliver.  You now are a solid size 14 in everything I buy.

5. You are always hungry.  
You are a growing teenage boy and this means you are hungry often.  Mothers of teenagers warned me of this and when you were picky and barely touched your food, it was hard to imagine. Now I chuckle to myself when I think of how much time I spent trying to coerce you to eat when you were little. You were a picky eater, and you’ve always been thin..neven as a baby you didn't have a roll of fat.  The doctors worried for a brief period as you fell off the charge, but that was a super brief time when you were transitioning from breast milk to formula. All that worrying was for nothing as you are healthy and you are no longer particular. You eat most anything now which is wonderful.

6. Sushi is still your favorite
On Friday evenings, when we are all exhausted after a week of school, work and activities, our family typically gets 'take out'. You almost always want sushi, and if it was just you and me, we’d eat it every Friday night, but it’s not just you and me most Friday nights.  We have two other family members who love Mexican food, so we take turns. Sometimes we will even get Chinese food, because we all agree on this. Since you’ve been basically living at your high school over the past 6 weeks for robotics, your dad often surprises you with sushi when there isn’t dinner being provided to you kids. He is a regular at a two sushi places and I think they know him by name. When he brings sushi to you at school or has it waiting for you when he picks you up, the smile on your face says it all.

7. The ocean is one of your happy places.
You aren't on the high school Surf Team this year. You considered it, but knew there would be a conflict once robotics started up. Your father and I encouraged you to join the Team, despite not being able to attend all the practices once robotics started, but you didn't want to do this. You like to be committed and I understand this. Still, you surf with your dad pretty regularly in the Fall, Spring and Summer months. In the Winter, Southern Calfornia's water temperature is cold, and though you have a full wetsuit (our entire family does), surfing in Winter is more sporadic. Like most sane people, you enjoy warmer water and your favorite is taking vacations down south where the water is always warm. You told me once that some of your very best memories are of our Mexico vacations where you surf every day - usually multiple times. You especially loved the vacation where you volunteered with turtles every morning and surfed all afternoon with your buddy Luca and your dad. I'm so grateful you had that opportunity. Those are the kinds of memories that stay with you a lifetime.  I'd love for the family to do some type of volunteer vacation together. Your dad and I have discussed it a bit and he is all for it. We just need to find the right organization, and one that will allow kids under 16 to participate. Many organizations have a minimum age. We'll keep looking...

8. You still have zero interest in social media
Some of your friends have Instagram accounts, and I follow some of them, as well as your robotics team, because it gives me a little extra insight to your friends and teenagers in general, but you have absolutely no interest in it.  You think it’s a waste of time. It is in big scheme of things. I think even us adults know this. It's a little diversion and can be fun, but it should never take the place of real connection. You prefer to spend your free time hanging out with friends and if you can't do that, you text them. As a listen to my mom friends with girls talk about the agony that social media has caused with their daughters, I feel pretty lucky that I don't have any of that to deal with. I'm sure there is occasional drama with boys on social media, but I don't hear about it.  

9. You are a great student
School has always come easy for you, and your dad and I have never had to ask you to do your homework….EVER!  Some people hardly believe this, but we never have. You and Scout are self motivated when it comes to your education. You want to do well and you understand the value in doing your homework and making good grades. This year, your Freshman year of high school, you told me you are actually challenged. Your dad and I LOVE hearing this because we want you to be challenged. You are taking all Honors courses and you are making straight As. You were disappointed that you didn’t make an A+ in Physics this past semester. I tried to be sympathetic, but for someone who struggled with math, it’s hard for me to relate. You know that college is highly competitive and you want the highest GPA you can possibly get, so that your high school transcripts show well. Oh Finn, you sure put a lot on your own shoulders, and I hope you know we notice how hard you work. We admire your hard work and are proud of you.

10. You are a young man of few words
I came across a birthday card that said this and I presented it to you on the morning of your birthday. The inside of the card read ‘from a woman of many words’.  You laughed out loud and said “this is the PERFECT card mom”.  It sure was!  I’m a talker and you aren’t…at least not since you’ve become a teenager.  When you were younger, you talked almost incessently....sharing everything that was on your mind. Since you’ve reached adolescence, you don’t say as much which according to almost of my momma friends with older boys, and the books on parenting that I've read, this is normal and more common. My momma friends who have daughters tell me they wish they could trade with me. Apparently, their daughters talk all the time….incessantly, so much that it drives them crazy sometimes. It’s hard to even imagine. I would love more words from you Finn....Dad too. The silver lining is, though you are a man of few words, I’ve noticed you are listening to us...most of the time. Your dad and I learned this because you’ll comment or bring up something you heard us discussing and we thought you had tuned us out. This is always a welcome surprise as we love hearing you share your thoughts.You are a thinker and are wise beyond your years.  You add so much to conversations. When we have adults friends over for dinner or even for a pool party, you elevate any conversation with your perspective when you join in. Adults appreciate this Finn, and from years back, commented that you don't belong at the kid table.   

11.   Your love of reading continues.  
Science fiction is still your favorite genre and you seem to always be waiting for another book to be published in series that you are reading. The Red Rising Series has a new book coming on in the Summer and you can hardly wait.  Currently, you are reading the classic book, Dune by Frank Herbert and loving it.  Fortunately, you attend a school that is liberal and places a large emphasis on social justice, so you’ve had to venture out of your typical genre and read books that you probably wouldn’t have picked up on your own. I love this because it help you be more  well-rounded (a world I use all the time at home). Some recent books you’ve read are Giovanni’s Place by James Baldwin and Just Mercy by Bryan Stevenson.  You recommended both to me, and I read. Like you, I found Giovanni's Place depressing and personally, I felt it a bit too mature for 14 year olds, but I loved Just Mercy and believe it might be the most important book that either of us read this year. My boss borrowed my copy and had the same sentiments. We both thank you for introducing to us. 

12. You quit piano lessons

As disheartened as I was about your decision, I agreed to let you give up piano lessons. It was reallly difficult for me to agree to this. I had lots of discussions about it with you, your father, respected colleagues, girlfriends, my mother and my mother-in-law. Music is a huge part of my life, and has so many benefits. I was afraid that letting you quit would prevent you from enjoying all those things music brings to me and I enjoy so much as an adult. I enjoy playing the piano for so many reasons...being able to make music to sing along to, for others to enjoy, the challenge of new songs, how it relaxes me, and how it simply brings me joy! I want you to enjoy ALL these benefits too, and possibly more.  You played for 8 years Finn, and rarely complained about it. You didn't love playing, I could see that, but you didn't hate it either. You enjoyed the challenge of learning a new piece and said as much, but playing didn't excite or move you in the way it does for me, or in a way that science and other things move you.


When your piano teacher of 4 years, Mr. Patrick, announced he was no longer able to teach as he was moving on to play for a musical theater group full time here in town, you declared it was the perfect time to quit because you were starting high school and would be too busy. You were joining robotics and you wouldn't have much free time. I knew your schedule would be busier than ever and in the end, I agreed. I believe forcing anyone to do something they really don't want to do, can sour the experience, and you did give music lots of years which I think (and hope) will allow you to still be able to pick up sheet music years from now and play at least at a basic/beginner level. From time to time, I notice you will sit down at the piano and play. You typically are wearing headphones and aren't reading sheet music, so i have no idea what you are playing, but it makes me smile seeing you at the piano. Our hope is that you continue to sit down from time to time throughout high school so you don't completely lose all that you've learned. 

13. You listen to music a lot now 

A year ago, when your dad and I would share a song with you that I thought you might like, you would tell us you "weren’t really interested in music".  I'd GASP and say I don’t believe it. Your dad would just grin. We are big music lovers, and as someone who plays the piano and who paid for  years of piano lessons for you, I couldn’t accept it. A part of me knew you were being purposefully obstinate, and your dad said it would just be a matter of time...that you would find music that you enjoy and that moves you. You finally have. You don’t share your music with us much, but that's part of being a teenager I've learned. As you separate from your parents, you aren't supposed to share everything...some things are meant to be yours alone and for now, your music is one of these. Still, it makes us smile knowing you now enjoy music of your own. You put on your headphones alot and listen to music and you clean the pool or do your chores. It makes us smile.

14.  If you have or have ever had a crush on someone, you’ve been quiet about it.

Again, you are a man of few words, and this is one subject you’ve been very quiet about.  I’m certainly in no rush for you to fall for someone or for you to get your heart broken. Both happen to all of us at some point in our lives, and I have a feeling that when a young woman breaks your heart, I’ll secretly feel a little /Mean Girl-ish' about it. Last year, you said you weren't going to get serious about any girl during high school and frankly, your dad and I hope you don't. We prefer you to focus on your education and making good friends than falling in love. There's lots of time for that.

15. You’ll be getting your driving 'Learner's Permit’ in 6 months.
YEP!!  It both excites and terrifies me.  It will be wonderful to have an additional driver in the family, as your dad and I literally feel like taxi drivers shuttling you to and from school and robotics. I think I've put a thousand miles on my car in just the past 6 months. It sure would take alot off us, when you start driving, but with driving comes a whole new set of concerns and worries for your dad and me. San Diego is a big city with lots of freeways and traffic and we like to drive fast. It's not like living in the country or even in a small city. It's not even like living in Orlando where I grew up. Your dad and I will make sure you take your time getting you used to driving in San Diego...first to and from school and then eventually get you on the freeway. Though I haven't checked into it (I'm sure you have), I think you can get your Driver's Permit at age 15 1/2 and then your regular license at 16 1/2?  I believe CA's rules are a bit more stringent than most of the country when it comes to driving and I'm perfectly ok with this. Maybe by mid-way through your Sophomore year, you'll be driving yourself to school. 

15. Last, you are loved SO much! 
From the day you arrived on this earth, you’ve blessed it and our family. Your dad and I couldn’t be more proud of you Finn Oliver Gerber. You are a fabulous big brother to Scout. I know he annoys you sometimes and you sometimes wish you had your own room, but you understand that’s part of being an older sibling. As for parenting you, your dad and I have said it a thousand times…you’ve made parenting pretty‘easy’, and though we want to believe we have a little something to do with the this, we know that you are an exceptional person. You think deeply about what you say and do and the decisions you make come stem from this. You are deliberate and this is a beautiful thing. Your dad and I are grateful that we get to be your parents and have delighted in watching you learn and grow. We are so proud of the young man you are Finn, and man you are becoming. Continue to reach for the stars, work hard, and be a kind human. Great things will come from it.

All my love,
Mom

~ I almost forgot your stats. Those are important.  You are 64” (5’- 4”), 95 lbs. and you wear size 14 in jeans and shirts. You wear a size 7 shoe.

             

scout's on his way to middle school

May you have auspiciousness and causes of success
May you have the confidence to always do your best
May you take no effort in your being generous
Sharing what you can, nothing more nothing less
May you know the meaning of the word happiness
May you always lead from the beating in your chest
May you be treated like an esteemed guest
May you get to rest, may you catch your breath...
~ i want you to have it all, jason mraz

these are some of the lyrics to the song that is used in the
background to this video (below) celebrating scout's elementary years.
originally, he asked that i use the school's theme song by cat steven song
titled, if you want to sing out. it's a beautiful song with an important message,
one that students learn in kindergarten and it's sung multiple times at special
events throughout the year. it's more of a mellow song and it didn't quite go
with the images i had pulled together. scout watched and agreed.  i asked
him for suggestions and he immediately said, how about the new jason mraz song.
he's been listeing to jason his entire life. he hears me play and sing it often.
we watched the video together with the new song and agreed, it was perfect.

it took several weekends of an hour here and there to create, but the
memories that this video captures are priceless. this is what life is all
about - making memories with those you love. 

explorer elementary has given scout a wonderful second home the past
6 years, but he's ready for bigger challenges that middle school brings.
like the lyrics cry out, i want him to 'have it all.  i don't mean material things.
i want him to have the things that money can't buy - confidence, close friendships,
excitement for learning and life and rich experiences.  

newly eleven - scout benjamin gerber

we have a birthday boy in the house today! Scout is ELEVEN and my mama heart couldn’t be happier to celebrate our youngest. I can’t possibly list all the reasons why I love this kid, but I will list a few. scout loves life and this spills over to everything he does. he inspires me with his love for learning, how he relishes reading and being read aloud to, how he pushes himself academically and physically and how he shows kindness and compassion for people and animals. it was no surprise that our new fur baby, bonita, bonded best with Scoutie. last, he shows us all to how to love big, forgive, and that it’s ok to wear our hearts on our sleeve. Our family is thanking heaven for our sweet eleven year old and all that he is.

scout - in keeping with tradition, here are 11 things i want to remember about you at this age:

1. You have a heart of gold

you have a big heart that truly feels all the feelings. you've always felt things deeply which makes you more attuned to those around you. this benefits everyone who comes in contact with you because this generation more than ever, needs examples of people who aren't afraid to be 'seen'. boys often learn to hide their vulnerabilities so they aren't seen as being weak. my hope is you understand that showing vulnerability is a sign of strength. it's allowing yourself to be seen and heard and this is a beautiful thing. the best relationships in life consist of this so keep that big heart of yours scout. it's one of your best characteristics. 

2. You enjoy being a child

your brother can hardly wait to be an adult, but you enjoy every minute of childhood and almost mourn growing older. leading up to your birthday every year, you tell me how great it has been being the age you are. you tell me why it's been the best year of your life so far, and that you wish you didn't have to grow older. your words tug gently at my heartstrings because as a mother, it's bittersweet for me to watch you blow out more and more candles every year. i've loved EVERY age you've been and i love your age now, but as the years pass, i wish i could hit a pause button for both of us. unfortunately, that's not the way the world works, so remember, you will only be 11 once, so make this your best year yet!

3.  You might be the most ticklish kid alive

our family has been torturing you with tickling ever since you were a preschooler.  because you are so sensitive to it and have the best laugh when we tickle you, we can't help ourselves!  your entire 5th grade class knows how ticklish you are and they too have enjoyed hearing you laugh, scream and squeal during recess when they 'torture you with tickling'. you even told me you can tickle yourself.  is this even possible? 

4. You still relish reading and the written word

i read once that reading is the easiest way to open a child's world and scout, your world is wide and vast because of the all reading that you do. c and i are far from being perfect parents, but reading is one thing we are proud you boys both enjoy. we've encouraged it your entire lives and it's benefited you in a million different ways. sure your vocabulary and spelling are off the charts which has everything to do with your love of reading, but there are more subtle things too.  reading has given you the ability to discuss many different topics with a variety of people of all ages reading has helped you to focus which helps you in everything from school to playing sports. last, it's given us a way to deeply connect as son and mother because i too share your passion for books. i enjoy hearing about all the stories you read and discussing stories we read aloud together almost every night. we just finished reading wonderstruck by brian selzniak and were mesmerized by this slow unfolding drama of a book. a movie has also been made off it too. {of course the book is 10x better}. someday i'll dedicate to post to your favorite books.  perhaps one day when you become a father, you'll have a record of your all-time favorite books and can recommend to him or her. i know i know, that's like a million years off you'd say, but remember, parents view time very differently than children.

5.  You are a true soccer player
there's been lots of changes this past year for you. even after receiving the Most Valuable Player {MVP} award this past season playing for the Blast Soccer Club, you begged us to try out Albion, a higher ranked soccer club here in san diego. after lots and lots of discussion between your father and i, we decided to let you try out and you made it for the 2nd level {i'll come back and fill out the official name once i talk to you}. the season is still new, but so far so good.  you travelled to las vegas and took 2nd place in your division last weekend.  i may be slightly biased, but even if i just saw you playing on a soccer field, i think i would notice you scout. you don't score the most goals or have the fanciest footwork on the field {although your skills are pretty impressive}. i'd notice you because of your 'intensity'...the way you focus when you are on the field and how smart you play. your coaches tell us you have high 'soccer intelligence' which translates to you understand the game...you see the field and options for moving the ball down the field. i wish i could say i taught you some of this, but i take zero credit. soccer is something YOU own....it's not something your dad and i push at all. we simply support you. the love and the drive you have comes from within.  your dad and love watching you play and have actually learned more about the game than we ever would have if you hadn't joined our family.

6. you're a great friend

this summer, your bestie, spencer, returned to san diego from barcelona and you boys are as happy as clams! he is here with his family for 6 weeks and you two have picked up right where you left off.  i was curious to see if your friendship might fade a bit because of the time and distance between you, but this hasn't happened. you two stay in touch regularly using skype and google hangouts. you two are committed friends and the effort is made on both sides....the sign of true friendships.  the summer of 2018 promises to be one of your best ones yet. in just a week and a half, there has already been a few sleepovers, birthday celebrations {for both you and spencer}, soccer playing and soccer watching {world cup}, book exchanges and you've got a big surfing/camping trip to mexico planned with your dad and finn and spencer and his dad and brother.  i have no doubt you'll return home with lots of new books read, a sun-kissed body, a big smile on your face and stories that will last for years to come.  

7.  You are a burger boy

like most kids you enjoy pizza and for your recent birthday celebration, we bought boxes of pepperoni pizza to feed you and your buddies, BUT if you had a choice, you'd prefer a burger from in-n-out almost any day of the week. your order is always the same: a double double cheese with a chocolate shake. as you grow and eat more, i will often take you here on the days you have soccer practice. you practice from 6-7:30pm and are starving when you finish so we'll stop at in n out to fill your belly. it makes you happy and though burgers aren't the healthiest food, i justify the stop by telling myself the burgers are a little better than other fast food joints becuase the beef is never frozen. the burgers are cooked fresh upon order. you told me you might even work here as a teenager because you hear the pay is well over minimum wage AND you get a free meal every shift you work.  i might just start calling you 'burger boy'. 

8. Math is your favorite subject

some might thing english is your favorite subject because you are an avid reader, but math is your favorite subject. it comes pretty easy for you. it may not always be this way, but it has been since the beginning, so we supplement alot from home {you still do kahn academy every year}. you finished 6th grade halfway through your 5th grade year and spend the rest of the year 'reinforcing' what you learned. you've had amazing teachers throughout your elementary school years and they've done a great job challenging you. i'll be honest, i struggled a bit helping you with a recent word problem you presented to me.  your math is becoming more complicated and you are finding that your father is a stronger in this area than your mom.

9. You had your first puberty class

a few months ago, you brought home a permission slip that your father and i needed to sign to allow you to - attend a class on puberty.  i could only think 'wow - that came fast. we of course signed the permission slip and briefly told him what they would be discussing. he didn't seem interested or perhaps that was his way of saying i don't want to hear this from you, but he now knows what to expect when he starts puberty. if you had your way, you would stay a child forever. you actually said this. i believe childhood goes by too fast scout, and though it's tons of fun having babies that coo and smile at us and toddlers who think we are superheros, it's also a beautiful watching you grow and come into your own. puberty is probably 2 years away yet, but it's coming. i bought you deodorant since you are starting middle school this year. even if you don't need to use it, it's good to have it on hand. 

10. You love legos, battle bots, superhero/marvel movies and of course watching professional soccer matches 
you are a busy kid scout with full days. i don't worry about you sitting in front of a tv for days on end...unless it's the world cup. when you do get some down time, it means you are watching something that I typically have no interest in. living with 3 boys means it's rare that i watch tv because we only have one and it's usually tuned to something sports or science related. i retreat to the guest bedroom and watch something on my laptop from time to time. this is part of living in a BOY house. 

11. You are a boy who has a dog...finally!

for the last 3-4 years, you've mentioned wanting a dog. after spending two weeks with grandma's dog maggie in florida, you were hooked. you didn't ask for one every day, you simply mentioned it a few times a year....when we would see a friendly or cute dog or visit friends with dogs. because your father and i were both working out of the house, neither of us felt it was right to leave a dog at home alone all day. our hope was that down the road, our circumstances might be different and there might be an opportunity to be dog owners. then there was. your dad took a job that has allowed him to work from home all-day full time if he wants and usually he does. we finally had an opportunity without feeling like bad pet owners.  

there were a few conditions before we added a furry family member to our group: the first being that we would not get a puppy as they require more work than a older dog. we weren't ready for chewing, house-training, etc. we simply don't have the time or the energy. second, christopher and i didn't want a dog that would shed. we clean enough at home and cleaning more was not something we wanted to be doing. the third request from ALL you boys is that we RESCUE a dog...not buy one.  this too was reasonable, as there are so many dogs {and cats} that need homes. we aren't so particular that we have to have a specific breed. the healthiest dogs are often the mutts and we were ok with this.

so a few weekends ago, you and i drove to our local petco store scout. every other weekend, there is some rescue agency parked in front of the store hoping to find good homes for their animals. i immediately saw a mid-sized black poodle that might have been a good fit, but someone was already filling out paperwork to adopt her. as i scanned the fenced in play yard looking at all the dogs...and there were lots, you discovered a small salt and pepper schnauzer in the corner shaking. she was very cute with a black face and a white moustache and white eyebrows.  the volunteer picked her up and put her in your arms. she was such a timid and a bit scruffy, but she was gentle and you fell in love scout. you literally didn't put her down for 45 minutes. when i asked if you wanted to hold another dog, you said "no. this is the dog i want mom. she needs a good home".  she wasn't exactly what i was envisioning, but you had made up your mind. i took a photo of you and bonita and sent to christopher letting him know we found our newest family member. to be sure our family and home was the right fit for her long-term, we did the 'foster to adopt' program. we are now on the 4th week and it's official - bonita is ours and we are hers. she has been such a beautiful addition to our home. her tail is no longer between her legs - it's wagging and she seems very happy with us. she especially loves sleeping in your bed scout. you have wanted a dog before you turned 11, and you discovered that sometimes birthday dreams do come true. 

happy birthday sweet scout about! there isn't a day that goes by that i'm not grateful to be your mom.

Your stats at 11 years old:

you are 54" tall and weigh 68 lbs. 

you wear a size 8 in jeans and a size 10 shirt. 

your shoe size: 3.5 and sometimes 4 shoe

a note from Finn's 8th grade teacher

before i put the hard copy of this in the keepsake bin i created for finn,
i scanned and wanted to share here as well. a personal note was given to
each student from their main teacher's and this is te note finn received.
as christopher and i read it and smiled. this is one of the benefits the
boys get by attending high tech high. their school only allows 120 students
per grade and these students are known on a very personal level by their teachers.

my favorite fourteen year old

somewhere something incredible is waiting to be known.
~ carl sagan

So many incredible things are yet to be known, but one thing is known - 14 years ago, one INCREDIBLE thing happened, and that was the birth of you, Finn Oliver Gerber! That little bald baby boy, now you, has brought so much love, joy and life to our family. 

This year has been full of change, discovery and growth. Your dad and me watch in awe as you grow and sometimes with tears as we realize how little time we have left with you before you head out into the world. I try not to think about it too much, but the years go by way too fast. Continuing my tradition, here are 14 things that I want to remember about you at this very time in your life: 

1.  You have grown A LOT this past year.  

I am literally looking into your eyes when we stand face to face.  You are just a 2" shorter than me and we have the same size feet! We still have the surfboard grow chart hanging on your wall that we've had since you were a year old to track you and your brother’s height and when your father marked your height, we saw that you have grown almost 5” – CRAZY!! You are very happy about this as you tell us you are the smallest kid in your grade, and have been for the last 2 years.  I shared that your Uncle Todd was very small until age 15/16. You will grow too Finn. You won’t be tall, but you won’t be 5’ forever either.  i promise.

2.  You eat like a truck driver.

What I mean by this is you eat A LOT these days and you eat fast. I finally understand that reference “my kid is eating me out of house and home”. Our grocery bill is bigger and my trips to the grocery store are more frequent.  We try to eat dinner as a family every chance we get and if you have your way, you’ll clear your plate in 5 minutes and be gone. I remind you to ‘taste your food’ and to enjoy meal time. It’s one of the few times the whole family is together during the day, so please sit with us longer Finn. We absolutely love your company. 

One of my favorite things about this stage of your life is that you eat just about anything now which makes meal time so much more exciting. I can experiment with recipes and you will eat them {even if they aren't great}. You are also up for eating an any restaurant and trying new foods which makes life so much more enjoyable...especially because San Diego has so many restaurants to chose. Our neighborhood alone has probably over 2 dozen. Given a choice between any type of food, you still prefer sushi, but you also love Italian, Chinese and Mexican. 

3.  The ocean is one of your happy places.

You gladly get up at the crack of dawn every Sunday morning to surf with your middle school surf team.  You set out your wetsuit, surfboard, wax, towel and snacks the night before so you can just jump in the car with your dad and head to the beach. On occasion, I tag along and watch you for a bit, say hi to the kids and their parents, and then I go for a run. It's a true surfer who can get up at the crack of dawn and paddle out into the pacific ocean in the winter months.

You don’t care about competing in surf contests, and you don’t go to socialize like a few of the kids on the team. You go because you love the ocean – its beauty, its power, the workout, and the dopamine that is released when you ride a wave. It just feels good!  I’m guessing you enjoy the trip to Taco Surf with dad after every surf practice. It’s a ritual for you two.

 4.  You’ve discovered Carl Sagan. 

One of your 8^th grade projects this year was titled ‘Monumental Figures’. Students were asked to select a person from the United States who doesn’t currently have a monument created for them, and explain why they were deserving of one.  You chose Carl Sagan, a name I recognized from my childhood. He was the host of the original Cosmos TV series, which is now hosted by Neil deGrasse Tyson. You loved this project Finn, and spent hours researching him. When you presented your project to us, and all the 8^th grade parents, your enthusiasm and your research on him spilled over to me. Over the next few weeks, I pulled up a few of the original Cosmos shows and Sagan interviews on youtube and watched because of  you. He is a fasinating man. You continue to learn about Sagan and his theories. You are currently reading his booked titled, A Pale Blue Dot that Grandma Gerber (GG) sent you for Christmas. You told me you are “taking your time with it” because it’s full of so much information. Oh Finn, your dad and I never tire of watching you get excited about something.

5. You have no interest in social media, but you do enjoy video games

Moms of daughters often have struggles around social media, but this is one area parents of boys typically don’t struggle.  There are exceptions to the rule of course, but we don’t anticipate you opening a Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, or Snapchat account anytime soon Finn. For now you prefer to text and Skype with your friends.

Like most boys your age, you enjoy gaming and want to play longer than we prefer you to play. You have designated ‘educational’ and ‘recreational’ computer time and you’d love more recreational time.  You tell us we are stricter than most of your friend’s parents, but in the same breath, you have said it’s a good thing. Oh Finn, we are doing our best. We have rules because we care and want you to use time wisely. We don’t mind you playing videos games, we just want you to have balance – face to face time with friends and lots of outdoor play. Since we don’t have any gaming consoles or portable gaming devices, this has helped tremendously. when you play games, they on your computer desktop and it's easy for us to monitor and less tempting for you.. Kerbal Space Program (KSP) is still your favorite game, with Portal 2 as the runner up.  

6.  You are a fan of Stranger Things

The day came your dad and I FINALLY let you watch this series.  Your friends started watching last year, but your dad and I thought it was a bit dark. Childhood is such a short window. We wanted to extend yours a bit longer.  It’s tricky being a parent….some decisiuons we make seem instinctual and we just know and feel good about, and other things we aren’t sure at all about. It's a learning process and a constant reassessing. You never pushed us or got upset when we told you that you would have to wait to see it. That's not your style. You simply said “let me know when that time comes”.    

When you turned 14, it seemed the right time. You just finished Season One and you thoroughly enjoyed it. The boys in the show are your age and there’s just enough sci-fi and creepiness to excite you. About halfway through the season, you said “I know why you and dad like this show so much mom, it’s totally your generation”.  Yes Finn Oliver, it is.  It’s like travelling back in time for us parents who were kids/teenagers in the 80s – the music, the clothes, the walkie talkies, and even the banana seat bikes.  When you commented that is would have been cool to grow up in the 80s because life was simpler, I smiled and told you it was a great time to be a kid. Now you know why your dad and I ask you and Scout to leave your phones and go play outside {unsupervised}. We want you to experience some of the freedom and the kind of playing that we had as kids.

7. Your current favorite movie is Dunkirk.
I took you to see Dunkirk one weekend - it was just the two of us. You were mesmerized by this powerful film, which felt more like an art film to me than a traditional action/war film. The dialogue was sparse, and there was no over the top gore which was refreshing. On our drive home, you talked about how you liked that the Director focused on three different groups of people over three different time frames, the Royal Air Force (RAF) pilots, the crew of a small civilian yacht and a group of young British soldiers trapped on the beach, and how they line up to make a really great climax at the end. As you shared your thoughtful critique, I smiled inside and thought “this is one of the joys of having a teenager”.  They have more experience and now can share great perspective. The conversation we had Finn added so much more to my experience of the film. Thank you for this. 

8. You continue to be an avid reader.  

Non-fiction and science fiction are still your favorite genres. You typically have two books going on at the same time – one at home and one that goes with you to school and in the car. Tonight, when I came into your room to kiss you goodnight, you were engrossed in your new book, A Pale BlueDot, and you have Artemis, the newest book by Andy Weir, the author of The Martian, on  your bookshelf to read next.   

Last month, you finished reading All the Light We Cannot See, by Anthony Doerr.  I don’t recommend many books to you Finn, but I recommended this Pulitzer Prize winner that I read years ago. I was just waiting for you to be old enough to read it and your got there. You remind me so much of the German boy, Werner, in the story. He too loved engineering. We talked about the book over sushi last month, and it was one of our best dinners together. At the end of the night, I asked if you had a book to recommend to me, and you suggested Red Rising by Pierce Brown. I started it last week. It’s a dystopian sci-fi novel that reminds me a little bit of Hunger Games. I’m just a few chapters in, but I’m enjoying it. 

9.   You are ready for high school 

Your mother may not be ready for you to be in high school, but you certainly are. You are ready for greater independence that comes with it, more advanced and in-depth classes, a wider variety of students and abilities, and after-school clubs for things you are passionate about.  You have been dreaming of joining the robotics team for years and your time is almost here. You’ve been watching high school robotics teams compete since you were a Kindergartener, and soon you will be ON one of robotics team. You better believe your family will be there to cheer you on, and maybe even embarrass you a little bit. {you know your dad}

10. Girls 

The opposite sex is not a distraction in your life at this point and for this we are so grateful. Your dad and I aren’t encouraging it as there is plenty of time for that down the road.  Middle and high school are about learning who you are, preparing for higher education/your career, and making lifetime friends. Those typically are friends of the same sex, and this is how it should be. A few of your friends have ‘crushes’, but I think texting each other is the extent of middle school relationships. I realize this will change for a lot of kids in high school, but your dad and I don’t think this will be where you put your time. You’ve got your sights on more important things right now – joining the high school robotics team and then college. You are one determined and focused kid Finn, and this will serve you well. When the time does come for you to date, the girl who does get your focus will be very lucky.

11. You are a huge help around the house. 

Your dad and I appreciate it so much. Over the last two years, and more so this year, you have stepped up in a big way with everything - from cleaning the pool cover, taking groceries from the car and putting them away, unloading the dishwasher, vacuuming, dusting, a little cooking, and even packing your lunch {ok this one I asked you to}, but you are learning to recognize what needs to be done around the house and pitching in. Thank you for this!

12. Your passion is contagious

Listening to you speak about something you are passionate about fascinates me often more than the subject you are speaking of.  I don’t have the passion or the attention span to study the mysteries of space or to understand the engineering of SpaceX’s Falcon rocket.  You however, do Finn. From your early years, how things work and the world and it's mysteries are things that have interested you and excited you. People are drawn to passion, and for parents, there’s little more exciting than seeing your child passionate about learning and discovering. Your passion encourages the rest of us to keep pushing for things that move us.

Last week at your Student Led Conference (SLC), you presented your work to your dad and me and as you spoke, you looked directly into our eyes, exuding total confidence. You owned your SLC Finn - sharing what you have learned in your math and science class, sharing your neatly organized work and discussing your goals for the remaining school year. I sat listening to you and thought WOW – you couldn't have been more prepared and you make public speaking look so easy. You received perfect scores in all your classes – straight 100s, and had a few scores over 100 because you did extra credit. School comes easy for you Finn, and because of this, our biggest fear when it comes to your education, is that you will lose interest.  We want you to stay excited about learning and work with your teachers to help make this happen. Remember, you too play a role.

13.  You have enormous amounts of patience.  

Having a teenager is still pretty new for our family. We are all trying to figure out how things are supposed to work. While you are changing and trying to figure out this teenage thing, remember that we are too. I sometimes forget your age, and talk to you like you are a little kid. I know this is frustrating and that you prefer to be treated like an adult.  Since you aren't one quite yet, I’m trying to find that middle place - allowing you greater freedom, but still guiding you along too. More than anything, I want you to feel respected and loved and to know that we trust you.  Until you break is, we will you give you the benefit of the doubt. Be patient with me if I remind you to grab your permission slip, to do your homework, or practice piano.  I think giving ‘reminders’ is in a mom’s DNA.  Also, thank you for your continued patience with Scout. He loves and looks up to you SO much, so be gracious with him Finn. Always remember how important it is to have a sibling. They know you better than anyone, have your best interest in mind, support your dreams, and they make great travel companions. {just think how boring it would be without him along on our family vacations}. *wink*

14.  You are kind
You greet your mama at the door every night when I come home from work and you give me a hug and kiss. You do this more for me I'm sure than for you, and I am grateful for it. Though you don't feel like your mom's little boy, my arms still want to pick you up. Actually, I try sometimes, and you just laugh because I don't have enough leverage anymore. You are too tall {and I'm too short}. You show kindess to your father when you help him with projects that you really aren't interested in, but you know he is excited about. You are kind to our sweet elderly next door neighbors who wants to chat with you from time to time because...even when I'm sure you would rather be doing something else. Last, I see your kindness when you help Scout put broken Lego sets back together or when he gets stuck on complicated math problems. These are things you do regularly Finn, and it warms my heart because acts of kindness are never wasted.    

Happy 14^th Birthday Finn! You shine bright and are loved more than ALL the stars in the galaxy! 

Always and Forever.

Mom

You are 5’-1’ and weigh 86 lbs. You are a size 12 in shirts and jeans and you wear a size 6 shoe.